Making the decision to move a parent into your home is not necessarily as clear-cut as it would seem.
A number of situations and questions arise that need addressing.
The Family Caregiver Alliance's family Consultants suggest that it is helpful to consider these issues before the move is made:
- How will I talk to my parent about moving?
- How do my spouse and children feel about moving my parent into our home and how will it change our lives together?
- What things will be easy for us to negotiate in living together and what things will be hard?
- What are the limits of my ability to care for my parent at home and what if I have to put him or her in a nursing home?
- How will my siblings feel and how much help will they give me?
- Will my parent's friends come to visit at my house or will he or she be dependent on me for all her socializing?
- What are my needs for privacy and alone time?
Adapting Your Home
- Where will parent sleep in my my children's room? Should we convert the den or build an addition?
- What assistive devices do I need-grab bars in the bathroom, raised toilet seat, ramps, etc.?
- Does my parent smoke or drink and will that be a problem for me?
- Does my parent have a pet that will be coming along and how will I cope with caring for it?
- What will the financial arrangement be? Should I charge rent or for expenses?
- How will my siblings feel about the financial arrangement?
- Will my work situation have to change, and if so, how will I cover the bills?
- Will my parent need care during the day, and if so, how will it be provided?
- How will I juggle my job, child-care responsibilities, marriage and caregiving?
- When in my day will I be able to make the phone calls needed to make arrangements for my parent?
- When will I have time for myself?
- How comfortable am I with helping my parent bathe or changing an adult's diaper?
- Do I know what to expect over time as my parent's condition changes?
- How is my health and will I be able to take care of myself as well as my parent?
- Am I willing to accept respite care to get a break?
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