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Facts: Moving a Parent Into Your Home

Some issues to consider before making the move


Making the decision to move a parent into your home is not necessarily as clear-cut as it would seem.

A number of situations and questions arise that need addressing.

The Family Caregiver Alliance's family Consultants suggest that it is helpful to consider these issues before the move is made:

Relationships

  • How will I talk to my parent about moving?
  • How do my spouse and children feel about moving my parent into our home and how will it change our lives together?
  • What things will be easy for us to negotiate in living together and what things will be hard?
  • What are the limits of my ability to care for my parent at home and what if I have to put him or her in a nursing home?
  • How will my siblings feel and how much help will they give me?
  • Will my parent's friends come to visit at my house or will he or she be dependent on me for all her socializing?
  • What are my needs for privacy and alone time?

Adapting Your Home

  • Where will parent sleep in my my children's room? Should we convert the den or build an addition?
  • What assistive devices do I need-grab bars in the bathroom, raised toilet seat, ramps, etc.?
  • Does my parent smoke or drink and will that be a problem for me?
  • Does my parent have a pet that will be coming along and how will I cope with caring for it?

Money

  • What will the financial arrangement be? Should I charge rent or for expenses?
  • How will my siblings feel about the financial arrangement?
  • Will my work situation have to change, and if so, how will I cover the bills?

Time

  • Will my parent need care during the day, and if so, how will it be provided?
  • How will I juggle my job, child-care responsibilities, marriage and caregiving?
  • When in my day will I be able to make the phone calls needed to make arrangements for my parent?
  • When will I have time for myself? 

Personal Care

  • How comfortable am I with helping my parent bathe or changing an adult's diaper?
  • Do I know what to expect over time as my parent's condition changes?
  • How is my health and will I be able to take care of myself as well as my parent?
  • Am I willing to accept respite care to get a break?

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