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Change Your Thoughts and You May Change, Too

Can your perspective brighten in the face of life’s challenges?

By Linda Goor Nanos

A sign hanging in my bathroom reads, "Change your thoughts and you will change the world." In those confines, devoid of distraction, it's my opportunity to shoulder the weighty subjects of the day. I've gazed upon that sign, contemplated and sent out positive thoughts, but so far, I haven't altered how people treat one another or our planet; the world remains full of the same conflicts.

Two people looking over a book together. Next Avenue, personal growth, change
The author meeting with a paralegal.  |  Credit: Courtesy of Linda Goor Nanos

In a moment of clarity, I had a shift in my personal perspective that made a profound change to my inner world, and maybe this is all we can control.

He reminded me that there was a time when I took pleasure in teaching paralegal students.

My career has spanned over forty years, and I had the privilege of working with an experienced team that ran like a well-oiled machine, allowing me a degree of coasting. Over recent years, there has been attrition in staff, and with each departure, I said good-bye to a colleague and a friend. Bright replacements were hired who had a learning curve, as do all new hires. It's my job to supervise them and make sure that every application that leaves the office is correct.

The job requires a heightened degree of meticulous attention lest a mistake slips by. I'm called upon to teach concepts daily. At day's end, I unloaded my stress, primarily on my husband, the reluctant sounding board. He reminded me that there was a time when I took pleasure in teaching paralegal students.

The Challenges of the Pandemic

My office often accepted interns from the local college, and I encouraged the administration to offer an elective in the field of law I practice. They asked me to help develop the curriculum and hired me as their first professor. It was an ambitious curriculum for an introductory course. The students arrived with a blank slate awaiting my instruction to fill it.

I taught two semesters and had a great rapport with the students, but my tenure as a professor came to an untimely end. When the COVID pandemic hit in 2020, the college gave me a crash course in remote instruction so that I could teach my subject during a third semester through distance learning, a challenge I accepted.

I disliked teaching students on a computer screen and wanted to go back to in-person classes. You can call me "old school" in the truest sense, maybe not one-room schoolhouse, but I wanted personal interactions. The college struggled with declining enrollment and with enticing students back to campus after the pandemic; ultimately, my elective wasn't offered.

Quite amazingly, the job found me again. I began to look forward to these teaching sessions with the new staff.

Several semesters passed, and I lost my desire to drag my mobile educational supplies to the college to give three hours of instruction. I decided that, even if I were called back, I would decline the offer. When I was first hired, I was passionate about being a professor and thought it would be a significant part of my future. As it turned out, I left my role in the rear-view mirror after only three semesters.

One day at work, I called a newly hired paralegal into my office to review the packet she prepared. She arrived eager to hear what I had to say with pen and pad in hand. Wasn't this, as my husband pointed out, what I had loved doing as a professor? Quite amazingly, the job found me again. I began to look forward to these teaching sessions with the new staff.

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I don my professor's cap daily and share my knowledge as I did in the classroom. I ask the rhetorical question: "Do you know why I know this to be true? Because I already made that mistake!" That will usually produce a laugh. I suggest changes in a collaborative manner, offering ways to strengthen our case. The same tools that worked in the classroom work in the office.

A New Teaching Opportunity

My current attitude about work is that I am reprising my professorial role. I'm back in the saddle, and rather than feeling tension, I consider myself lucky to have this teaching opportunity once again. I go to and from the office with enthusiasm and spare my husband the stress dump when I get home, which is a win all around. Nothing has changed except that my adjusted perspective has made my personal world (and his) a better place.

How we view disappointment, frustration, or even tragedy to find spiritual, intellectual, or emotional growth can be a life-altering lesson.

Choosing a brighter perspective may be only a minor tweak, but the same process can be used to achieve a shift in more difficult challenges. A friend's husband took his life in their garage, a tragedy almost too hard to conceive. The garage became a place that held a traumatic memory. She invited friends and family to paint the inside with uplifting murals so that when she went in there, she could feel the support of loved ones instead of the pain. I can't think of a more poignant example of shifting perspective for a healthier outlook.

The late Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, author and motivational speaker, taught "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." In the first chapter of the book "The Knowing," by Dyer's daughters Saje and Serena, they recount how they utilized their father's concept of changing perspective to cope with his sudden passing. They challenged themselves to explore and share his wisdom as a way to cope.

How we view disappointment, frustration, or even tragedy to find spiritual, intellectual or emotional growth can be a life-altering lesson, and it's always helpful to have a refresher course.

I considered replacing the sign about changing the world with a new one I bought featuring the Wayne Dyer quote about changing perspective. Instead, I found the space to hang both. I can still grapple with the issues of the world while I explore what other thoughts I can change for greater personal, more achievable, peace of mind.  

Linda Goor Nanos
Linda Goor Nanos is a practicing attorney, author, wife, mother and grandmother. Her writing credits include a memoir "Forty Years of PMS," professional articles and published essays on life lessons. Read More
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