Creating Your Own Gratitude Practice

Many years ago, I followed a meteorologist whose guidance I always trusted when planning an outdoor outing. But along with her weather wisdom, she regularly posted her 'moments of gratitude,' i.e. "Found just enough change in the car to splurge on a cappuccino!"

Maybe because my generation was cautioned against mixing business with pleasure, but these broadcasted dribbles of happiness not only made me turn the other way, but left me wary of the idea of practicing gratitude.

However, making a habit of recognizing the good in life has and continues to gain approval, from centuries of Buddhist monks who rise pre-dawn to meditate and give thanks, to millions of laymen who credit gratitude practices for changing their outlook, to the many scientists churning out evidence in support of the positive mental and physical health impacts of gratitude.

"Behavior changes biology," reports the Mayo Clinic, noting that positive gestures release oxytocin, a hormone that helps connect people. Recognizing that amplifying the positive is the clearly the way to go, I began to rethink my original hesitation and decided to explore what's involved.  

Whether your declarations are public or private, many people struggle just to grasp onto the habit of recognizing the good.

"Start simple," encourages Emiliana R Simon-Thomas, Science Director at The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley. "Gratitude involves three things: focusing on goodness, decreasing focus on the self, and linking goodness to sources outside of the self, such as other people, nature or a spiritual/religious entity."

One approachable way to start is to lean into sensations and reflections, Simon-Thomas suggests. "Warmth from the sun through a window on your skin, or hot water from a shower or bathtub. A favorite thing to eat or drink, things in nature. Simply honor your good fortune at getting to sense and feel these things."

Turns out I was already doing that; a vibrant bloom in early spring or a spot of sunshine to duck into when outside on a chilly day, often turned my mood around.

Once you've started to open the floodgates, create an achievable goal: 1-3 grateful thoughts per day is a realistic start. You might also pinpoint a specific time of day for your reflection. Like the monks, some think best early in the morning while night owls might be full of inspiration at midnight. Setting both a goal and time will help engrain your new habit, lest your good intentions become lost in the chaos of the day.

The best thing about a gratitude habit is you can practice it anywhere. No need to prop yourself up on a cushion, wide-eyed and wondering, until your mind lands upon the right thought. In fact, such pressure will likely cause you to abandon the effort. Instead, think about it while taking a walk, stopped at a traffic light or when traveling home from work (a great way to shift gears).

And now for the big question: Do you have to make your findings public, either with your small circle of family and friends, or the larger world of internet strangers?  "A successful gratitude practice doesn't need to be shared on social media, but it does need to be expressed and not remain just a thought, subject to your memory at the end of the day," suggests author and coach Andy Grant.

So once you start recognizing good thoughts, capture them in a way that works for you, he says. "I keep a yellow sticky pad with me and jot down things I'm grateful for." 

Other quick methods to record your thoughts include iphone recordings, a file left open on your laptop or scraps of paper that you'll later add to a larger collection. Writing down or recording the thoughts also creates a sense of accomplishment for the day — another mood-boosting activity.

Gratitude journals are another popular option, with the added benefit of becoming a keepsake for later reflection. Grant eventually turned to the use of a gratitude journal, and reports he's now been doing so for fifteen years. "It started with me writing down three things I was grateful for at the end of the day — scraps of paper, nothing fancy. Within a month, I bought a dedicated journal to keep at my bedside."

Stones or beads are common elements in spiritual practices across traditions and can be worked into your daily practice. From holding a smooth rock or a purchased gemstone to adapting Mala beads — traditional Buddhist prayer beads used to count and recite Mantras – a tactile object can make you feel grounded in your intentions. And keeping such an object visible on a bedside or tucked in your pocket will help steer your thoughts back to your daily intention.

In time, your gratitude practice may naturally extend itself to those around you. "Saying 'thank you' to people in a way that specifies what they did, acknowledges the effort they put forth, and explains how their actions led to goodness, will strengthen social bonds," Simon-Thomas explains. "Expressing gratitude can help change how people relate to each other, or have a systemic impact on a social relationship."

While sharing your grateful thoughts is always an option, your practice will still "work" if you prefer to keep it for your eyes only.

While practicing gratitude has become popular — make note of the abundance of T-shirts and home décor emblazed with "Blessed!" or "Grateful!" — public proclamations aren't necessary to achieve a meaningful practice. Whether you choose to go public or err on the private side, all you really need is a plan and a willingness to open your heart and mind, to start taking note of what's good in life.