Experiencing a Slight Delay With Gary Janetti

Between lost luggage, jet lag and flight delays, plenty can go wrong while traveling. So it's not surprising that many people describe it as stressful. But there's also so much to enjoy about exploring new places and stepping outside of everyday life.  

For New York Times best-selling author, television writer and producer Gary Janetti, traveling has always been an integral part of life. As a child, Janetti's dad worked in sales for a cruise line and the family got to go on a yearly cruise. The experience sparked a love of travel that continued into adulthood.  

In his new book, "We Are Experiencing a Slight Delay," Janetti, 58, shares stories from his trips round the world, as well as tips infused with his signature humor.  

"I understand why people get stressed and anxious when they travel," says Janetti. "You are out of your comfort zone and can feel vulnerable."  

But it's never a good idea to take out those frustrations on the staff that is trying to help you. "A flight delay isn't the flight attendant's fault," he says. If you are calm and kind, you may be able to find out more information about what is going on. Or, at the very least, you won't be making it even harder for the staff to do their job."  

That doesn't mean you can't ask for things like upgrades or room changes.  

Janetti recalls taking a cruise where his room was located right by the foghorn. "I couldn't sleep and it was impacting my enjoyment of the trip," he explains. "So, I requested a room change and since there was availability they accommodated us. It's fine to ask for what you want if you ask nicely." 

Janetti worked in the service industry for 12 years and he carries the experience with him. "Having worked in the industry, I have a strong appreciation for the work that they do," he says. "I still remember the patrons who were nice to me, who made an effort to know my name and be gracious."

When traveling Janetti always remembers to pay it forward by being a good guest. That includes being generous with the wait staff, bellman, the concierge and cleaning crew. "One of the pleasures of being in a hotel is having someone clean up, so let the staff know you appreciate your work," he says.  "A simple 'thanks for cleaning my room' along with a gratuity is a nice gesture. And yes, if you leave a cash tip, it will get to them. When I worked at hotels, we all looked out for one another." 

For most trips, Janetti packs a carry-on only. "I have traveled for a month in multiple climates, brought one bag, and still probably had too much stuff," he says. "If you forget something like toothpaste or a swimsuit, you can replace it when you get there." 

Janetti believes overpacking adds to travel stress. "Packing light means you can unpack in minute and walk unencumbered in the airport," he says. "If you don't check a bag you don't waste time waiting for your luggage or worrying your bag got lost." 

Three days' clothes are enough for most trips. Janetti says, "We aren't living in the Gilded Age where you needed to dress up every day. The same clothes you wear at home work on a trip. No one will notice if you are wearing the same thing two days later, and if they do, who cares?" 

When Janetti runs out of clothes, he does laundry. "I won't use the overpriced hotel laundry service," he explains. "Instead, I'll go to a local laundromat. I like meeting local people. Museums and other must-see sights are great but they are filled with other tourists. If you go to a laundromat or supermarket, you get to immerse yourself and experience the city like a local."  

Janetti sparked some controversy on social media with his comments about travel attire. In the book and during some promotional appearances, he said that people should dress presentably for travel rather than so comfortably they look like they are wearing their pajamas in public.  

"People are taking what I said a little too seriously," says Janetti. "I was being funny. I have no real authority on what people can wear on a plane. The comments were equally divided, half agreeing with me and the other half upset. I don't think there is a reason to wear sweatpants or dress like you are recovering from the flu. But I don't really care and everyone can do what they want." 

"There is a stigma against dining alone," explains Janetti. "I remember being out to dinner with Brad (Goreski, Janetti's husband) years ago. We saw an older woman sitting alone at another table. Brad got upset and said he felt sorry for her.  

I was like, 'Why? She looks like she is having a good time. The woman would probably be more upset to hear people are pitying her when they see her eating alone. To me what would be sadder is giving up an opportunity to dine in a great restaurant because you don't have someone to join you."  

Admittedly, it can take practice to get comfortable dining alone. "I started off eating alone at the bar," he explains. "It feels safer than getting a table by yourself. You look like you are just having a quick bite or a drink alone. You can chat with the waiter or another patron if you want." 

Eventually he worked up to dining alone at a table. "When you say at the table that no one is joining you and the waiter removes the other place setting, it can feel a bit weird," he says. "But then it's really nice. You can spread out, order what you want, people watch, or just be alone with your feelings." 

Dining is one of many activities that can be enjoyed solo on a trip. "While it is nice to do things with other people, it can be just as fun to do things yourself," explains Janetti. "Going to a show or on an excursion alone, you can really immerse yourself in the experience and embrace your surroundings more so than if you were with a companion. You get to do what you want when you want and at your own pace without worrying about someone else's needs." 

For Janetti, part of the fun of travelling is planning the trip. "I do a lot of research on what restaurants to eat at, where to stay and side trips to take," he says.  

But he also likes to allow trips to happen organically. He recalls a trip he took with Brad, his parents, and his in-laws. "Parts of this trip did not go according to plan from the start," explains Janetti. "We were boarding the boat, and the rooms weren't ready. It was hot out, and I was worried about my parents in the heat."  

While the situation was frustrating, Janetti believes staying calm and being able to pivot are key. "We turned the negative into a positive by pivoting our plans," he explains. "We wound up going to a great restaurant and it turned out to be a fantastic evening, one of the nicest of the trip." 

Randi Mazzella is a freelance writer specializing in a wide range of topics from parenting to pop culture to life after 50. She is a mother of three grown children and lives in New Jersey with her husband.  Read more of her work on randimazzella.com. Read More