Falling Into Homelessness and Climbing Back Out

Diane Nilan's commitment to bring justice to the oppressed was formed early in her life by the Joliet Franciscan Sisters who taught her from grade school through college. Nilan herself began training to be a nun until she felt there was another path to advocate for homeless mothers and children.

Now, after the Supreme Court decision allowing local governments to criminalize sleeping in public, including cars, she has published a book filled with advice and encouragement for unhoused parents. Nilan, who is also a documentarian, and her co-author Diana Bowman capture the real-life experiences of three women they met, coincidently all named Melissa, so the book is titled "The Three Melissas: The Practical Guide to Surviving Family Homelessness."

"I encountered these three moms during my cross-country travels interviewing families for my HEAR US filmmaking projects," said Nilan, adding that the proceeds from book sales will be channeled to the three Melissas. "Among the hundreds of people who shared stories with me, these three creative and resilient single mothers were laser focused on the wellbeing of their children. I've maintained contact with them after their time of homelessness and their steadfast determination really stood out to me."

She met Melissa A in Chicago when the mother was 22 and living with her five young children in a motel. A childhood of abuse and poverty led to her giving birth at age 14.

Displaced by Florida's Hurricane Ivan in 2004, Melissa N still lives in the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) trailer she eventually bought from the government. Nilan first met this mother of three in 2006 and stays in touch with her.

Melissa T, who had worked as a dental hygienist, raised her two daughters until the severe trauma she experienced as a child led to broken relationships with the girls' fathers. By the time Melissa's girls were six and two, the three had plunged into homelessness and they landed in Hope, Kansas.

Nilan, who ran shelters in Illinois for 15 years, knows becoming homeless can happen in many different ways, from escaping domestic violence or losing the breadwinner (by death, incarceration, disappearance), to becoming unemployed or having a medical emergency. How a person loses the roof over their head often is the result of a combination of events, but Nilan wants to uphold the dignity each person deserves.

"None of these moms 'chose' their homelessness," Nilan explains. "They all point to the abysmal lack of assistance to avoid or escape homelessness and the devastating impact it's had on their children."

A common thread with the Melissas and every mother Nilan has interviewed is how they end up with their often-traumatized children, with little to no support from the father, no access to childcare, a heap of financial challenges and no way to earn enough money to climb out of their dire situation.

Nilan's career began in the 80s when, she admits, she knew nothing about the spiraling vortex of homelessness.

"All I knew was people in desperate straits were pouring through our bedraggled office doors," she recalls, back when she worked at the Joliet Catholic Charities in Illinois. "We lacked a way to help those with nowhere to sleep. Joliet had no shelter so we were just like other agencies in town — no help at all if you had nowhere to sleep."

After starting the Will County PADS shelter in Illinois, Nilan realized providing a place to sleep wasn't enough so she become involved in changing the unjust system at the root of poverty and homelessness.

She was deeply involved with passage of the Illinois homeless voters' rights bill, the Illinois Housing Trust Fund and the Illinois Education for Homeless Children Act.

"Removing barriers to education for kids lacking a place to live by far ranks as my most challenging and worthwhile accomplishment," she says, explaining that in 2002, she was integrally involved in incorporating the Illinois law into federal legislation with the McKinney-Vento Assistance Improvements Act.

This federal law allows children to stay in their "school of origin" if their homeless situation forced them out of their school district and if it's in the best interest of the child. This is important because it allows children to keep their friends and school routines at a time when so many things have changed in their lives. Also, they have a better chance of not falling behind in their studies, as often happens when they transfer to another school.

"Parents I've interviewed constantly expressed gratitude for all the help that the law guarantees," Nilan says. "Especially to the millions of kids who lack housing stability, schools provide essential support that makes all the difference as the child moves into adulthood. I've kept in contact with kids I've worked with decades ago — and school stability has helped them the most."

After the McKinney-Vento Assistance Improvements Act was passed, Nilan received an opportunity to make a short film about kids explaining what it was like to be homeless and unable to attend school.

She wanted to feature kids in parts of the country where people didn't think homeless families existed, like rural areas, small towns and even resort communities. So, at the age of 55, she sold her townhome, gave away or sold most of her possessions, bought an RV and started a nonprofit organization called HEAR US Inc. in July 2005.

Nilan's first attempt at filmmaking was an award-winning, 20-minute documentary called, "My Own Four Walls." She then collaborated on a feature-length documentary about family homelessness titled, "On the Edge: Family Homelessness in America." It was released in 2010 and broadcast on PBS.

Nilan continues to produce films and write books with the hope they will "open eyes, minds and hearts to those in our midst without a place to call home," she said. "Knowing that families (and individuals) get a 'bum's rap' for being homeless, I'm trying to dispel myths and misperceptions."

Her most recent book blends invaluable information based on lived experiences from women who have found ways to nurture and protect their children amidst desperate circumstances while also formulating insights to policymakers about adjustments needed to certain laws.

As Nilan moves into her 20th year of work at HEAR US Inc., she continues to produce films and books that are used by educators, social service personnel and other audiences to call attention to the invisible crisis of millions of families with children who struggle without a place to call home.

"In addition to promoting 'The Three Melissas,' I already have my next project in mind — 'Mamas and Mayors,' " she explained. "I want to organize meetings for mothers who live with unstable housing to meet with their mayors to discuss family homelessness — a topic no one truly knows until they've lived it."

More information may be found at 3Melissas.org.