Feeding Ourselves and Others Like It Matters
Meal preparation and food choices may look different at each stage of life, but should be nourishing nonetheless
Transitions: Navigating life, we experience many. And through them all we need to feed ourselves and often those we love as well. This looks different for everybody — some of us like to cook, some not so much. We all have our own food preferences. No two diets are ever the same, and what we eat and how we feed those at our table can be as unique as our fingerprints.

Shifting Stages
What this may look like depends on our life stage. In the early years we are fed by others, then eventually we feed ourselves, perhaps a partner, maybe a growing family. These years are often busy with work both in and outside the home along with raising kids. Food prep may include slow cookers and air fryers. Leftovers. Microwave ovens. Take-out. And all the delivery apps. Cooking may be a joy and it may be a chore. But we figure it out and get meals on the table and kids raised. It matters.
When the littles grow up, graduate and move out, the number of people at the family dinner table shrinks and those who put food on the table adjust. Empty-nest food shopping looks different. Grocery bills often go down significantly when kids move out, and suddenly there may be leftovers when before there were none. What's served can change as well. (When my fish-averse kids moved out, my husband and I started enjoying meals of salmon again.)
Sitting down at the table and enjoying food with a partner or solo means you're taking time to care for yourself in an elemental way.
Another shift: Those cooking are perhaps losing interest after years of meal-making. Eating out may become more frequent, as well as taking advantage of carry-out and delivery services. Or the reverse could happen: with kids out of the house there's more time to play around in the kitchen and build exactly the sort of meals you most want to eat.
What shouldn't change is the importance of making those meals, whether brought in from elsewhere or carefully crafted in the kitchen. Sitting down at the table and enjoying food with a partner or solo means you're taking time to care for yourself in an elemental way. The table doesn't even have to be the table — sitting on a couch, enjoying dinner while watching a movie might not make it on any "proper" list of how to eat meals, but my husband and I find ourselves doing just that every other week or so. Adding variety to both what you eat and where you're eating can keep mealtime fresh. It matters.
What's On Our Plates
Eventually we retire from careers, leaving more time to do what we love. Though travel, grandkids, hobbies and volunteering often make that list, cooking may not. With all of this extra time, how can we continue to feed ourselves like it still matters?
Grocery budgets may continue shrinking if we're eating less food, though what we do buy may be more spendy if we shop at smaller markets more often rather than the monthly wholesale store runs. Roles may shift — if only one partner is retired, he or she may be the shopper regardless of how it went down in the past. Maybe both partners share in cooking and cleaning duties when once roles were divided.
As we age into retirement, health concerns likely influence what's on our plates.
As we age into retirement, health concerns likely influence what's on our plates. Foods with less sodium, fat, gluten and (fill in the blank) may become more important. Fortunately, there's an entire industry devoted to good-for-you foods.
Even better (and usually less expensive) is doubling down on whole foods — eggs, vegetables, fruit, leaner meats and dairy products. These foods simplify shopping by keeping us at the perimeter of the store and can either serve as a blank slate for fun recipes, which the Internet is full of, or a basic meal that doesn't even need a recipe — think scrambled eggs and whole-grain toast or top-your-own baked potatoes. Any leftovers can serve as the foundation for a meal the next day, or cook just the one or two servings you need so you don't deal with leftovers at all.
Food continues to matter for solo agers, some living alone for the first time. Motivation to cook is often elusive with just one to feed. Whether following a recipe or simply combining favorite foods on a plate, preparing food reminds you that you're worth feeding and caring for. Nutrition is increasingly important as calorie needs shrink; it's smart to center a diet around nutrient-dense foods like the whole grains, fruits and veggies mentioned earlier. That said, the treats we love most matter too. A favorite cheese, pastry or bite of chocolate can help keep the ever-lurking boredom at bay.
At this stage, the desire to shop and cook may have altogether disappeared. Keep shopping simple by ordering single steaks and cuts of chicken at a neighborhood butcher, smaller portions of bread at bakeries and individual portions of vegetables at grocery store salad bars. Online grocery delivery can change the game as well. Though fresh produce is best selected in person, online subscription services can deliver staples on a regular cadence, saving shopping trips and even a bit of money.
Regardless of life circumstances, food is meant to feed our souls as well as our bodies.
Frozen meals absolutely have a place in a single household, especially when portioned for one. And done well, simple DIY meals can be more than the sum of their parts: an egg sandwich featuring toasted whole-grain English muffin, avocado, tomato, turkey bacon and Cheddar cheese hits all nutrient targets (lean protein, fruits and veg, calcium, whole grain) and makes a satisfying breakfast. And if zero interest in cooking? Meal prep can be completely sidelined with meal subscription services tailored for one if budget allows. It still matters!
Cooking less food and using fewer dishes make it easy to clean as you go, so when a meal is finished there is little left to wash, wipe and scrub. Time saved here can be used to make a meal extra special by taking a moment up front to set a table using serving dishes, plates and utensils that bring you joy. Remember, it matters.
Regardless of life circumstances, food is meant to feed our souls as well as our bodies. Though taste buds change as do the number of mouths we feed, there are ways to make food prep easy, affordable and enjoyable. Each stage may give us more or less time to spend at the store, planning the next meal, prepping that meal and serving that meal. But it always matters because you always matter. Find what works for you. Feed yourself well.
