Grandparents Raising Grandchildren: Adapting to Kinship Care
Despite perceived challenges associated with grandparental kinship — delayed retirement, increased expenses — there are positive benefits for both grandparents and grandchildren
While this might not surprise you, the prevalence of intergenerational households — where grandparents live with one or more of their grandchildren — has become a relatively common arrangement in homes across America today.
Such is the scale of this trend that a staggering 6.7 million Americans over the age of 30 were found to be residing in the same home as one or more grandchildren, according to a 2021 U.S. Census Bureau report.
Over 2.74 million children were living in this form of "kinship care," according to the U.S. Department of Labor.
However, beneath the surface of this statistic lies a significant number of households where a grandparent or grandparents are the primary caregivers.
In fact, over 2.74 million children were living in this form of "kinship care," according to the U.S. Department of Labor, following an American Community Survey in 2021.
Asked to define kinship care, Marcus Stallworth of the Child Welfare League of America (CWLA) describes it as the "full-time protecting and nurturing of children by grandparents, aunts, uncles, godparents, older siblings, non-related extended family members and anyone to whom children and parents ascribe a family relationship."
In such cases of kinship care where grandparents have become the primary carers of their grandchildren, these non-traditional units are frequently now described as "grandfamilies."
The Vital Role of Grandparents
Stallworth, who is the Director of Learning and Organizational Development and licensed master social worker at the CWLA, was also quick to highlight how pivotal grandparental kinship care is for the sake of a child's welfare.
He explained that research shows "a child who becomes separated from their birth families experience less trauma when they are connected with individuals they have an existing relationship with."
Nevertheless, he added, unfortunately, it's not always easy, particularly for grandparents, as they can face "significant challenges very different from what traditional resource families experience."
There are several reasons why grandparents might be placed in a situation where they take on the responsibility of the short- or long-term care of a grandchild. It could be the result of the unexpected death of a parent or because the parents are unable to care for their children due to financial instability or in instances where parents are battling addiction or are incarcerated.
A Daunting Challenge
Many grandparents embrace this obligation determined to raise their grandchildren in a stable household environment. For others, however, becoming the head of a grandfamily is a daunting challenge.
It's not surprising, as the consequences of this can frequently force some grandparents to delay retirement and continue to work to support their grandchildren.
Additional factors, such as the physical and emotional demands of raising a second generation of family members, can also place strain on grandparents' own well-being.
Preparing to Take On Grandchildren
The demands of undertaking guardianship of a grandchild will vary depending on several variables; most decisively, the grandchild's age and the number of children involved.
When preparing to welcome children into the family's residence, careful consideration of the home setup is critical. For grandparents taking on the responsibility of raising babies and toddlers, it's essential to ensure the home is child-friendly, with devices such as stair gates and safety plugs or covers on electrical outlets.
Grandparents must also be finely tuned into the emotional well-being of the grandchild, who may be conflicted by the absence of their birth parents.
For older children and teenagers, you might need to accept their need for personal space. In these instances, if possible, designate an area or a room in the house where they can relax, do homework, or spend time alone with their friends.
In direct contrast to the more traditional role of a grandparent — which often includes the softening of rules or showering grandchildren with presents or candy — existing boundaries may have to be redrawn.
As the head of a grandfamily, your role may involve the implementation of stricter routines and disciplining the grandchildren. Introducing chores, making grandchildren complete their homework and enforcing new bedtimes will always have the potential to cause friction that may not have occurred in the past.
Grandparents must also be finely tuned into the emotional well-being of the grandchild, who may be conflicted by the absence of their birth parents. Aspects such as grief or adapting to a new environment are exceptionally hard for children to process, so maintaining open lines of communication and emotional support is highly beneficial.
The Potential Strain of Grandparent Kinship Care
For a sizable proportion of grandparents who are forced to evolve into the role of parent to a second generation of family members, the financial burden can become the primary concern.
This is particularly relevant given the disproportionate rate of intergenerational kinship arrangements affecting lower-income families. The consequence of adapting to life with grandchildren can affect pre-existing retirement plans, often necessitating significant lifestyle adjustments.
While most people see retirement as a chance to take up new hobbies and enjoy the occasional vacation, the sudden realization of having extra mouths to feed, buying shoes and clothing, and, in some cases, tuition costs, are all too grounding.
As a result, grandparents in kinship care may have to consider coming out of, or at least delay, their retirement in order to maintain an income stream to cover the unexpected expenses.
The generation gap can also become a significant factor when raising children in later life.
Not only can the energy involved in the day-to-day challenges of bringing up grandchildren be exhausting, but the modern-day hurdles of protecting kids from the harms of things like social media and substance abuse can present their own set of challenges.
As the number of grandfamily households varies from one state to the next, certain states are better prepared to provide assistance to grandparents involved in kinship care.
The Increased Allocation of Resources and Support Systems
Fortunately, the growing awareness of struggles faced by grandparents embarking on kinship care has led to a surge in organization and support networks tackling the perceived difficulty of accessing support, as demonstrated by the CWLA's Traditions of Caring and Collaborating program.
However, there is still a long way to go. Aspects such as the existing financial, legal, emotional and mental health support systems do not necessarily reflect the additional challenges that grandparents face compared to younger family members taking on kinship care.
As the number of grandfamily households varies from one state to the next, certain states are better prepared to provide assistance to grandparents involved in kinship care.
When asked if the level of support from state to state was proportionate to the number of grandparents in kinship care, Ana Beltran, an attorney and director of the Grandfamilies & Kinship Support Network, replied: "Definitely not – the supports vary dramatically, as do the laws, and the way public benefits such as welfare are administered."
Beltran is charged with leading the Grandfamilies & Kinship Support Network, the first-ever National Technical Assistance Center, which, as part of Generations United, along with its partners, work with the nation's leading experts to improve the services and supports affected. As a result of this collaboration, Grandfamilies & Kinship Support Network continues to pioneer Kinship Navigator Programs throughout the United States, along with a news and resources website dedicated to grandfamilies.
The Dual Benefits of Grandfamilies
Despite all the perceived challenges associated with grandparental kinship, there are many positive and life-changing benefits for both grandparents and grandchildren.
For grandchildren, grandparental kinship arrangements can provide an overwhelming sense of stability and continuity, as well as a nurturing environment that can foster their emotional and psychological well-being.
The close connection and natural bond children share with their grandparents enhances their sense of security and identity, providing a solid grounding and an opportunity to succeed in all areas of life.
Essentially, kinship care and grandfamilies embody the resilient and supportive intergenerational family structure, benefiting the grandchildren and grandparents alike.
While the recognition and support for grandparents serving as caregivers still have a way to go — both financially and in terms of access to specialized services — the mental and physical benefits of establishing a solid support system that is a grandfamily ultimately enhances the overall strength of these family units.
