How to Balance Busyness

We continue to struggle from the post-pandemic shutdown in search of means to effectively manage our days. One of the biggest complaints about living in modern society is that of being overscheduled, overcommitted and overextended. Too much of the time, most people find themselves burdened, anxious and frustrated by the demands of an ordinary day.

At a recent fundraiser for a regional nonprofit group, Dan (not his real name) described his job as a community activist 'to work the room.' 

"I needed to build a broader support base for the agency, and many high rollers were invited," he said. "As I moved through the party, I heard a repeated theme that was simultaneously familiar and alarming. The stock answer to my question of 'how are you?' from so many was '…crazy busy…it's insane in the world these days…I barely have time to breathe,' and '…I stay super stressed.'" 

"I heard myself responding with a stock answer: 'That's a good problem to have. It is certainly better than the opposite.'"

Social psychologists are increasingly concerned with this unsatisfying sense of busyness, most of which is self-imposed. It's as if we've become acclimated to being hyper aroused, dreading what might be lurking around the metaphorical corner if not 'on go' all of the time. A woman at the fundraiser said, "I feel guilty when I'm not working. I can never complete my to-do list." 

She continued the conversation, making reference to her daughter. "An initiative at her university has been established to help students to manage their time and emotion. They are all anxious beyond repair," she reported.

Dan later said, "I know the global problem that college is having. Those kids! Rather than studying and focusing on classwork, there seems to be an epidemic of angst and anxiety."

This is not a circumstance solely for the well-heeled and high society set. It is a common problem in our American culture. In many ways, running from place to place has become distorted existential reassurance for meaning and a hedge against emptiness. Perhaps it is time to reconsider all this busyness. 

Valid social science research documents the restorative value of allowing time to rest and think. There is no doubt that we are living in a stressful world, in the presence of frequent and multiple personal and environmental encounters that feel threatening and upsetting.    

Moreover, whenever there is a moment for a reflective thought, such as simply waiting in the grocery store line, our mobile devices keep us occupied with mind clutter and chatter. In our humanity these days, when aroused by a sense of alarm, we move too quickly into the fight-or-flight response as was taught in Psychology 101. Unnecessarily running-toward or running-from are stress responses that, over time, take physiological and psychological tolls on body and mind. 

In this day and time, we tend to dwell on what's wrong in our lives and have evolved socially to become immediate, knee-jerk problem solvers. We tend to ruminate over what preys on our minds, keeping ourselves so busy to avoid the tension of what is yet to be discerned.

Busyness, though, is not an effective strategy to meet the demands of daily life with any degree of perspective. We are unable to solve or let go of problems without time to think. We live in a 'fix it' culture which values doing more than thinking, yielding to the belief that answers are in the palms of our hands rather than found as a result of meaningful thought. 

The constant cognitive strain of busyness leads to a range of psychological troubles, such as depression, substance abuse and obsessive-compulsive rumination. The strain is also associated with somatic maladies, such as tension headaches, gastrointestinal distress and sleep disturbance.

Fortunately, there are ways to feel more in charge and resist the culture of busyness:

Learn to say no. When feeling burdened by work, family and social pressures, notice a connection between body sensations as mental warnings, such as feeling 'a pain in the neck' or thinking "This just makes me sick." These are bridges between mind and spirit that serve as markers of tension, warranting deliberate consideration. Our society asks us to do more, do it faster, do it better, with less. The culture of busyness does not allow much room for being idle. Employing a well-placed and unapologetic 'no' is a valuable life skill learned to create the cognitive and psychological space needed to ponder.

The aforementioned university found that students were most actively accessing the psychology journals needed for their studies at 3 a.m. Focus of time and attention was placed on helping them to study smarter. Among many changes, the administration established device-free areas of campus and oriented furniture around windows and fireplaces, rather than televisions and computer screens. Reading books for pleasure was encouraged.

Generally speaking, our culture does not promote sitting still, which has wide-reaching consequences for mental health, well-being and productivity. Technology is stealthy; while it seems to facilitate productivity, it does the opposite over time. The smartphone makes it impossible to unplug and weigh options for how time is managed.

Daydream. Spending a few minutes of quiet time gives rise to creative thought, which in turn yields new ideas for solutions to problems. Daydreams ask that the mind search for its own stimulation. As the mind wanders, clarity tends to emerge in unexpected and valuable ways. Where busyness shuts the mind off and leads to the performance of tasks just for the sake of doing them, idle daydreaming gives a renewed sense of purpose to ways of proceeding.

Defined in the Puritan ethic, hard work is a virtue. When such hard work becomes a punishment in the frenetic hustle of the day, the paradoxical prescription for relief is to stop and take a bit of a psychological breath, defined by quiet and a moment of idle stillness. As Thomas Pynchon wrote in his essay on sloth, "Idle dreaming is often of the essence of what we do."

The space and silence of idleness provide a necessary condition for standing back and seeing a bigger picture, for making unexpected connections, and for finding the pleasure of inspiration, all of which is necessary to happily getting work done.

Jackson Rainer is a board certified clinical psychologist living and working in Atlanta, Georgia and Tryon, North Carolina.  He may be contacted  by [email protected].
 Read More