How to Cope with Travel Anxiety

It's ironic: As a travel writer I've been to all 50 states and many countries, but I am getting more and more anxious about traveling as I get older. I recently went to Bali (lucky me!) and I was anxious about it for months beforehand.

I'd thoroughly researched and planned the trip and was going with a quilting group and a guide, but the idea of a 19-hour flight, the potential for excessive turbulence, an uptick in COVID-19 infections and worries about malaria-carrying mosquitos, strange food and whether I'd get along with my roommate pervaded my thinking.

I knew from experience that I'd be OK once I got on the plane, but other people have anxiety while on the plane. Some, like my friend Sheryl, experience anxiety over long road trips and the prospect of renting an Airbnb home.

As much as she looks forward to escaping the cold, Sheryl worries about whether she'll be able to sleep comfortably in the rental home's bed, if it will be stocked with the kitchen appliances and gadgets she's used to and if she'll feel safe in the neighborhood.

My friend Connie is concerned that her dogsitter won't be able to handle her 100-pound dog while she's away on vacation. My sister, Linda, worries about traveling alone, and my hairdresser worries about unruly passengers.

Many of us worry about what a destination will be like and if it will live up to our expectations and if we'll feel comfortable in a foreign country or be able to communicate. We may fear, too, that we won't know how to cope if we get ill or hurt.

Psychologists say anxiety is common, especially among older adults, and travel can intensify it. Approximately 25 million Americans report a fear of flying, according to the Cleveland Clinic, and may experience panic attacks during a flight. Overall, too, about 40 million adults suffer with an anxiety disorder like a phobia or generalized anxiety disorder, reports the National Alliance on Mental Illness.

Travel anxiety can manifest in many different ways. Common symptoms include worrying, sweating, experiencing a rapid heart rate or shaky hands, and feeling nauseous or faint, panicky or irritable. It does share a common denominator, however: We feel a lack of control, which can be heightened by aging concerns, says Laura Sgro , a Los Angeles therapist in private practice who works with anxious adults.

"In general, people become more susceptible to catching an illness as they age, and they may be struggling with a chronic condition or a mobility issue that can create anxiety. They also become more aware of risks and the things that can go wrong with travel. Teens and 20-year-olds don't think about the possibility of their plane crashing," she says.

There's also the fact that travel today doesn't look like it did when we were 20, she adds. We have to be technologically savvy to make reservations online, check in for our flight and download our boarding pass. All of that may cause undue stress.

As with most forms of anxiety, there are proven ways to soothe yourself. Top among them:

Identify the trigger for your travel anxiety and control what you can. If you know what is sparking your fear reaction, you can find ways to counter that fear, Sgro says. "[If] you're afraid of turbulence," she explains, "I would recommend researching what turbulence is and the statistics about it. Spoiler alert: There has never been an accident because of turbulence." There have been some recent episodes of severe and unexpected turbulence, though, where passengers have been injured, so on a practical level be sure to wear your seatbelt whenever you're seated and avoid opening the overhead compartments.

Don't blame yourself for your anxiety. Anxiety is a physiological reaction and once it is triggered, the train has left the station and you need to learn how to ride it out. Whether it's real, your nervous system is reacting to a perceived threat. Use logic to reassure yourself that the feeling will pass, Sgro advises. "When we are feeling anxious, we are time traveling either to the past where something scary happened, or to the future, where we think something catastrophic is going to happen," she says. We need to come back to the present moment.

Learn calming techniques to soothe your body and distract your mind. Try doing a simple meditation to ground yourself in the present moment and distract your brain from the discomfort you're feeling. Alternatively, do some deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation or count five things you can see around you.

Focus on something you enjoy. Write or doodle in a journal, play a game on your phone, watch a movie or read a book. Also think about why you wanted to go on a trip in the first place — what are you most anticipating seeing or experiencing? Excitement about your trip may override the fear.

Consider traveling with a group. This might not work for everyone, says Sgro, but being in a group can be reassuring for some people. You don't have to worry about planning a trip or figuring out logistics; you can simply rely on your group leader and follow the pack.

If you prefer to go it on your own, do plenty of research so you know what to expect, where you're going to stay and eat, the activities you'll do and how you'll get there. Also consider calling on a travel agent to help you make your arrangements; these experts have been to many destinations and can steer you in the right direction, easing fears.

Seek out a therapist or group class for phobias and anxiety. Some therapists specialize in helping people get over travel fears, and even run group classes or offer individual sessions. For example, Washington, D.C.'s Center for Travel Anxiety offers fear-of-flying workshops for their clients. A therapist may also be able to prescribe anti-anxiety medications, which can be particularly helpful if you must travel, say to a funeral or wedding, or if you have to travel for work.

Believe that you can handle whatever comes your way. "When you feel anxious on a plane, remember this moment is temporary," Sgro says. "It sucks, but you will get through it. Build trust in yourself that you can survive the anxiety."

I sometimes start to feel intensely hot and nauseous on planes when the air becomes stale and warm. I used to catastrophize and worry I would have a full-blown panic attack and humiliate myself, but I've learned that I can help these moments pass by bringing a personal fan with me and using it to cool my face and neck. I also repeat the simple meditative phrase "I am cool and I am calm" silently until it passes. It does within minutes and no one usually seems to notice that I'm in the process of melting down.

Limit travel. While you ideally want to learn to manage your fear so you can explore the world, ultimately the anxiety you feel just might not be worth the trip. I'm wondering about that myself. I'm fine traveling in the U.S. and Canada, but I'm not sure I'll travel again to far-flung places in Africa, Asia and the Middle East. After years of "feeling the fear and doing it anyway," those kinds of trips might be more than I can handle emotionally, and that's OK. Sgro says you have to analyze your priorities — does exploring the world outweigh the fear you feel? If it does, you might seek help to manage the anxiety better and ease your discomfort. If it doesn't, limiting your travel can be a healthy choice.

And yes, by the way, I did have a wonderful time in Bali. The long-haul plane ride turned out to be more manageable than I anticipated: I purchased a roomy premium economy seat and took a sleep aid, resulting in a solid eight hours of rest. The remainder of the time, I ate, watched movies, read and talked with my friend.

Once in Bali, I realized the country was more modern than I thought it would be — and staying at four- and five-star resorts helped soothe my anxiety even more (although I sometimes felt like an over-privileged American). I never needed to take the anti-malaria pills a travel medicine doctor had prescribed for me; in fact, I only got one mosquito bite while I was in Asia.

I was careful with what and where I ate, and although I sampled the very spicy Balinese cuisine, I was happy to see that the hotels offered as many familiar Western dishes as Asian entrees. Best of all, the people in my group were fun and relatable, and we all had quilting in common to talk about. Fear averted (at least for now)!