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Pope Francis Declares a Day to Celebrate Grandparents

The pope emphasizes a unique faith-sharing role in his message for the first commemoration

By Maria Wiering

What if, for grandparents, the best is yet to come? Youth ministry expert and author Michael Shaughnessy says that can be the case, and it motivates his outreach: encouraging grandparents to take a deliberate role in passing on their faith to younger generations. He thinks Pope Francis might agree, given his reflection about the importance of grandparenting and mentorship ahead of the first World Day for Grandparents and the Elderly July 25.

Pope Francis greeting a group of older adults outside. Next Avenue, World Grandparents Day
Credit: Remo Casilli/Reuters via PBS NewsHour

In April, a Vatican office announced the day's establishment, to be held annually on the fourth Sunday of July. This year's theme is "I am with you always," which, Pope Francis says in a letter accompanying the announcement, is drawn from the Book of Matthew and is "a promise of closeness and hope that young and old can mutually share."

It also "expresses the closeness of the Lord and the Church to every older person, especially in these challenging times of the COVID-19 pandemic," according to a Vatican News report announcing the day.

The author of "The Strategic Grandparent: Your Most Important (and Fun) Role Yet," Shaughnessy, 69, welcomes a day celebrating the unique contribution grandparents can make in their families and community.

"The message is, 'Pass on your faith. Be a messenger of faith to your grandchildren.'"

He points out, however, that the day, as presented, is not simply a commemoration of aging, or the value of gained wisdom, perspective and experience for its own sake. Grandparenting is about a relationship to the younger generation, which makes the day's focus not only older adults, but also the children and young people they love and influence.

"The message is, 'Pass on your faith. Be a messenger of faith to your grandchildren,'" Shaughnessy said.

Passing On Values

Shaughnessy lives in Lansing, Mich., and founded "Grandly: The Strategic Grandparents Club." He is not a grandparent himself, but longtime work in youth ministry has helped him to recognize that grandparents have a pivotal — but often overlooked — role to play in instilling religious faith and values in their grandchildren.

His aim, he said, is to make grandparents "youth workers," committed to intentionally teaching and demonstrating their beliefs to their grandchildren.

That doesn't mean grandparents who don't practice a faith tradition are off the hook, Shaughnessy said. Everyone has a value system, and grandparents generally want to see the younger generations adopt and grow in virtues such as honesty, personal integrity and perseverance.

And, Shaughnessy said, for grandparents who have faith but whose children have rejected it and are leery of indoctrination, emphasis on virtue building is the place to start. The key to youth work, he said, is relationship.

Lessons for Grandchildren

According to AARP's 2018 Grandparents Today National Survey, almost 96% of 65-year-olds are grandparents, with 50 being the average age an adult becomes a grandparent. More than half of grandparents (52%) "consider themselves a source of wisdom and provide a moral compass on issues such as education, morals and values," its report states.

Asked which topic areas grandparents feel comfortable talking about with their grandchildren, the highest rated topic (at 53%) was morals or values. Religion or spirituality landed in what the report labeled the "ambivalent" zone, at 33%. Meanwhile, almost half of grandparents (49%) see their role as conveying family "roots," including heritage, culture and history.

In his message for the day, dated May 31, Pope Francis highlights the relationship grandparents have with their grandchildren, but also underscores the relationship between the Church and its oldest members. In his opening paragraph, he says, "The whole Church is close to you — to us — and cares about you, loves you and does not want to leave you alone!"

He acknowledges the difficulties and loss amid the COVID-19 pandemic, including illness, loved ones' deaths and the experience of isolation. The pope emphasizes that God hears people's prayers and seeks to console them and be close to them, especially through "angels," or people — including grandchildren — he sends to bring them love and hope.

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Despite challenges and limitations that may accompany advancing age, grandparents and other older adults are called not to complacency, but to take on something new, Pope Francis said. As the world emerges from the pandemic, grandparents need to help renew society, beginning in their own families and relationships.

"Think about it: what is our vocation today, at our age? To preserve our roots, to pass on the faith to the young and to care for the little ones. Never forget this," the pope said.

That can be accomplished, he said, through the "pillars" of dreams, memory and prayer.

'COVID-19 Has Changed Everything'

The pope's 1,800-word message is addressed to "grandfathers and grandmothers" and "elderly friends." At 84, Pope Francis is squarely in the age group he's talking to, and he may see himself not only as a fatherly figure — the title "pope" is drawn from the Latin word "papa," meaning "father" — but also as a grandfather to people all over the world, said Lorene Hanley Duquin. She is a grandmother of eight and the author of "The Best Is Yet to Come: Growing Older with Joy and Fulfillment" and "The Catholic Grandparents Handbook." Her book of meditations, "The Wisdom Years," is forthcoming.

For many grandparents, social restrictions during the pandemic meant grandparents were separated from grandchildren for a time, which affected the relationships.

While the pope isn't a grandfather, he was a grandchild, and his relationship with his own grandparents may inform his view.

"COVID has changed everything, and I don't know whether we've really emerged yet and [are] understanding how COVID has changed things," said Duquin, 70, who lives near Buffalo, N.Y. "It's not the same on Zoom."

While the pope isn't a grandfather, he was a grandchild, and his relationship with his own grandparents may inform his view, she noted.

Grandparenting well requires grandparents to determine and clarify their roles, both spiritual and practical, including how they'll relate to their grandchildren's other grandparents, whether or how often they'll babysit and how to handle differences with their adult children over parenting or discipline.

Despite challenges that arise, establishing good grandparent-grandchild relationships is important, Duquin said. In those relationships, grandparents "see a fulfillment of your own life," she said. "You see the carrying on of family traditions and the carrying on of things that are important in your family. Grandchildren love traditions."

In Houston, Marilyn Henry relishes sharing traditions she received from her Polish Catholic grandmother with her 11 grandchildren — including making perogies and breaking open an "oplatek," a large wafer, at Christmas. She also learned prayers from her grandmother, so Pope Francis' message deeply resonates.

"To me, (faith) is the only — and I tell them all the time — it is the only lasting gift I can give you," she said.

Henry, 71, is the U.S. leader of the Catholic Grandparents Association, which supports grandparents in this faith-sharing role. Based in Ireland, the organization lobbied the Vatican for years to establish a special day for grandparents, Henry said.

Faith communities can mark the day with special events that recognize grandparents, but the day can also be celebrated in many ways within families.

The Vatican has provided resources for marking the day at amorislaetitia.va. The Catholic Grandparents Association has also shared ideas, including sending cards or forget-me-nots (the official flowers of the secular National Grandparents Day in September) or praying a prayer for grandparents that Pope Benedict XVI, who retired in 2013, wrote for the Catholic Grandparents Association in 2008.

Contributor Maria Wiering
Maria Wiering is editor-in-chief of The Catholic Spirit, newspaper of the Archdiocese of St. Paul and Minneapolis. As a journalist, she is interested in the intersection of the Catholic Church and culture. She lives in St. Paul, Minnesota, with her husband, three children and new Golden Retriever puppy, Skipper. Read More
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