Radio Host Delilah on What She's Learned About Love and Loss

She's known simply as "Delilah" and for nearly forty years she's shared stories, a listening ear and music during her nighttime syndicated radio show. With an estimated audience of nine million people weekly, she's the most-listened-to woman on the radio in America. Decades after she got her start, Delilah (Rene) remains grateful people of all ages still tune in to listen.

"It's pretty amazing," Delilah tells Next Avenue. "I hear from people who are in their 80s and they're like 'I've loved you and listened to you most of my adult life.' And then I hear from kids who are in high school or young adults who say, 'I used to listen with my mom but now I listen in my apartment, or I listen on the internet.' It's an honor and a blessing."

She refers to herself as the "Queen of Sappy Love Songs" known for asking listeners, "What's on your heart tonight?" They call or write in to share their personal stories or struggles, and Delilah listens, offers words of encouragement, then finds the perfect adult contemporary song to send a message of "love" or cap the moment in just the right way.

She discovered a passion for radio at 14 when she got her first job at a local station in her hometown of Reedsport, Oregon. After high school, she moved on to radio jobs in other cities, some lasting longer than others, before landing the position that allowed her to do what she believes she was "called to do." While the numbers show millions are tuning in nightly, Delilah begins every show by thinking about that "one person" she might be able to help.

"It might sound corny and trite," she says, "but before every show my producer and I pray and say, 'Lord, if there's one person who needs to hear something, if there is one person who is lost and hurting, please give me the words to touch that person in whatever way I can."

While Delilah has years of radio experience, it's her "life experience" that's given her the depth and empathy that resonates with listeners. She was disowned by her father (for marrying a Black man), she's been divorced several times, and fired from dozens of jobs. She lost her brother and sister-in-law in a plane crash, her son to suicide, and suffered other personal tragedies.

And yet, through her determination, resilience and strong faith, she's had much to celebrate, as well. She's the mother of 15 children, twelve of whom she adopted, and stepmother to five adult children. On the career side, she's one of the most influential women in radio, and in 2016, was inducted into the Museum of Broadcasting Radio Hall of Fame.

Delilah lives on a 55-acre farm in Port Orchard, Washington which houses her home studio where she does her nightly radio show.

Her listeners have come to trust her and confide things they might not have thought to share with someone else. It's given her some interesting insight.  

"We have more technology now, and more platforms to communicate than ever before in the history of the world," she says. "We can FaceTime somebody in India in a minute. I've got adult children who live all over the place and I can FaceTime, and almost reach out and touch them. And yet, people are lonelier than they've ever been and that plays out on my radio show. Kids are lonely, teenagers are lonely, and young adults are lonely."

She says since COVID, it's only gotten worse.

"I saw a study several months ago that said that pre-pandemic, young single adults used to spend an average of six to eight hours a week in the company of friends. Now, it's down to less than two hours a week."

Delilah says another societal problem she sees is the unwillingness to discuss grief. Six years ago, she wrote a book called "One Heart At A Time" that followed her journey to becoming a radio host, but also delved into the heartwrenching pain she suffered when her biological son, Zack, died by suicide, and her adopted son, Sammy, died of sickle cell anemia two years after she brought him home from an orphanage in Ghana, West Africa. (Later, her stepson Ryan also passed away, from a drug overdose) She wrote the book to help others and "start the conversation" about grief.

"In our society, it's okay to talk about love and sing songs about falling in love and first love. And now, apparently, it's okay to talk about your most intimate moments with your partner in graphic detail," Delilah says. "But it's not okay to talk about grief, to talk about loss, to talk about mental health, to talk about suicide, and to talk about disease when it affects young people."

She says it's important to discuss pain and loss, then continue to offer love and support, because grief is very much a part of life.

"It's not something you can compartmentalize, then go to a 12-step meeting for a week and you're okay. It doesn't work that way."

Delilah remains committed to finding ways to help others. She's the founder of Point Hope, a non-profit organization that serves as a voice for forgotten children everywhere.

"In America, we try to bring awareness to kids in foster care and encourage people to adopt them out of foster care or at least mentor them," she explains. "Then, in West Africa, we have programs to provide food, water, education, empowerment, job skills and more."

She admits her life is extremely full, but so rewarding. And she owes it all to radio.

"I still love what I'm doing!" she says. "I love being on the air as much today as I did when I started."

Pam Windsor is a freelance feature, travel and entertainment writer. She currently lives in Nashville, Tennessee.

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