Building a Social Network of Contacts Can Save Lives
The deaths of actor Gene Hackman and his wife, Betsy Arakawa, spotlight the need for frequent social well-being check-ins
The world was saddened to learn in late February about the deaths of actor Gene Hackman and his wife, Betsy Arakawa, but the details of their deaths were even more shocking.
Hackman, 95, suffered from late-stage Alzheimer's disease and Arakawa, 65, was his primary caregiver. She died suddenly on or sometime soon after Feb. 12. Medical examiners think Hackman died about a week later, but apparently, they had no one checking on their well-being. Their bodies weren't discovered until Feb. 26.
"This story is a common one, but it doesn't always involve people who are famous," says Peter Ross, co-founder of Senior Helpers, a private company in Towson, Maryland. "The Hackman story highlights the importance of putting together a social network of people who check in regularly."
"The Hackman story highlights the importance of putting together a social network of people who check in regularly."
Bruce Rodgers, a retired writer, editor and publisher was sitting at his computer in his Largo, Florida, home on Dec. 10, 2022, when he felt a sudden severe onset of vertigo. It passed and he tried not to let it worry him. He felt relieved after a friend told him he'd had a similar experience that led to him passing out, but doctors could never pinpoint an issue.
The next afternoon, Rodgers collapsed on his kitchen floor. Nausea hit and he was able to make it to the bathroom. He fell into what he describes as "hypnagogia," between sleep and consciousness. When he was awake, he couldn't walk and could only drag his body between the hallway and bedroom and then fall into exhaustion. His phone was in the living room on the other side of the house.
Rodgers wasn't aware of time; he only knew darkness outside had come and gone. Fifteen hours had passed when he was finally able to drag himself to his phone.
Two brain scans revealed Rodgers had suffered a cerebellar stroke, a rare and life-threatening condition. Although it was too late for surgical intervention, Rodgers recovered most of his eyesight and ability to walk after eight days combined in the hospital and rehabilitation. Rodgers, 76, is used to living on his own, but acknowledges his independent nature may have ended his life that day. "I now always have my phone nearby and stay in touch with family at least once a week," Rodgers says.
"I believe people being used to living independently and the slow erosion of our social networks as we age are two reasons people don't think of building a social network who can check in with them," says John Rinker, M.D., chief medical officer who practices geriatric medicine with OSF Healthcare at St. James-John W. Albrecht Medical Center in Pontiac, Illinois. "Building that network takes being vulnerable and a willingness to acknowledge we need that help."
There are a number of ways to build that network, according to experts.
Start with family. Ross says the first thing his company does when setting up a new client is help them build a network, starting with family. "Their kids may not live close, but they are usually the first people on the list," Ross says. "We build a list of family members and talk with them and figure out how often they check in with their loved one."
Ross adds they encourage regular calls and even video chats, which will help family see changes in their loved one. "If the client is resistant to having check-ins from family, we tell the family to say, 'You're not doing it for you, you're doing it for me,' and that typically ends the resistance," Ross says. Next, they obtain a list of other people who are included in the client's circle.
If you are still working, make sure your supervisor and at least one co-worker has your emergency contact information.
Include neighbors, friends and other community members. If there aren't close family members, a safety social circle can be built with neighbors, friends, people at church or at the senior center. If you are still working, make sure your supervisor and at least one co-worker has your emergency contact information. Rinker says it's very important, if a person has become socially isolated, to reverse that. "Join the senior center, a book club, anything that will help with building a social network," Rinker says. Finally, form a relationship with people who deliver to your home, such as your regular mail carrier, lawn care people, contractors (a contractor and private security firm found Hackman), Meals on Wheels, apartment managers and maintenance people.
Tech Help
Take advantage of technology. Linda Masters, 77, was horrified to learn a neighbor in her small town of Bull Shoals, Arkansas, suffered a stroke and was in his home for three days before anyone found him. By then it was too late.
"I just thought that should never happen," Masters says. With the help of others, she co-founded TeleCare, a free all-volunteer calling service in town that phones older and disabled residents 365 days a year. The service has seven volunteers who each take a day to call up to a dozen or more residents who have signed up for the service.
While gadgets people can wear and press are great ... only about 70% of people who have them are able to press them in the event of an emergency.
In the 23 years since its creation, Masters says there has been many instances of the service saving lives. "We've had instances when the police have had to break in," Masters says. Ironically, Ross says having a door broken down by emergency services is one of their clients' main fears. "I recently put coded locks on my doors," Masters says. "My best friend and a couple of other close trusted neighbors have the code."
Other communities may have such a service through the senior center. There is also an app called Snug, which requires older adults to check in online by a certain time each morning. If they don't, the service will text their list of emergency contacts.
Ross says while gadgets people can wear and press are great, he says only about 70% of people who have them are able to press them in the event of an emergency. "There's a lot of technology available to help people get help if something is wrong. There's even a device that can be mounted on a wall that will monitor the person's vital signs. If the vitals change, emergency services are called," Ross says.
Ross adds that many technology devices that help older adults age in place, including the wall mounted vital signs device, are often covered by Medicare.
