The Happiest People Have This One Thing in Common
It is something you should budget carefully and spend wisely, but it is not money
The 17th century French philosopher Blaise Pascal stated, "All men (let's add women — it was a different time) seek happiness." But what actually makes us happy?
In a recent study, 79% of Americans said they would be happier if they had more money, and 69% admit that money drives many of their daily decisions.
Really? Take an honest look around your own home. Do all those things you bought still bring you the same pleasure, or do a lot of them seem more like clutter?
Beyond the level of providing a comfortable lifestyle, studies have repeatedly demonstrated that more money in fact does not increase happiness. To quote another great philosopher, Forrest Gump, "There's only so much money a man really needs; the rest is just for showing off."
So if money can't buy happiness, what can?
It's About Time
More than a decade of research has found that focusing on another precious asset, time, is the true path to happiness. Whereas the joy from acquiring material possessions lasts about as long as that new car smell, time spent on meaningful experiences and relationships brings continuing satisfaction.
Time is a precious gift to be carefully managed.
The key, though, is having the right amount of time, for neither people saying they have too much or too little report high levels of contentment. Constantly feeling rushed is a leading cause of stress, often resulting in poor lifestyle choices relating to diet, exercise and sleep. An overabundance of time in today's hard-charging culture infers laziness and a lack of purpose in one's life.
The happiest people successfully find a balance between work and play, and, understanding that time is a precious gift to be carefully managed, are deliberate about how it is spent. Consider using their strategies to savor a more joyful life of your own.
Buy Time
Instead of following Ben Franklin's advice that "time is money," the happiest people use money to buy time. Outsourcing tasks they find unpleasant like house cleaning, yard maintenance or running errands frees up time for more enjoyable activities.
Outsourcing tasks you find unpleasant frees up time for more enjoyable activities.
Those with a "money-first" mindset, even when plenty of disposable income is available, are often resistant to this entire notion, viewing such expenditures as extravagant.
Defining exactly what you find distasteful about chores you want to offload is important. For example, perhaps you enjoy cooking but dislike all the planning and shopping involved with getting a nice dinner on the table. In this case, a wise investment would be subscribing to a meal kit service like Blue Apron or HelloFresh to eliminate those negatives.
Buy Experiences, Not Things
While money doesn't buy happiness, using it to purchase experiences (vacations, concerts, dining out) instead of more stuff certainly does. Studies have consistently proven this to be true across every demographic in the United States.
Experiences have much longer shelf lives than possessions.
Why? Because experiences have much longer shelf lives than possessions. New toys don't stay new, but experiences linger in our memories, photos and stories.
Interestingly, this increased happiness extends to gift-giving as well. Recipients of experience-based gifts report feeling more appreciation and a closer connection to the gift giver than those receiving physical presents.
Spend Time With Others
Just as experiences consistently win out over possessions in happiness rankings, meaningful personal interaction with others trumps basically all other uses of time. Social relationships, even short casual chats with strangers, have been proven to be essential to our physical and mental health.
Studies also show that experiences shared with others produce higher levels of happiness than ones spent alone. As a bonus, research into the world's Blue Zones indicates that strong social bonds are a key component of living longer.
Fill Days (But Not Hours) With Variety
Nobody thinks they are living their best life channeling Bill Murray in the film "Groundhog Day," when every day is a monotonous repetition of the previous one. The happiest people keep daily activities interesting by consciously building in variety, doing things as simple as taking a new route home from work or ordering a different bagel at their local breakfast spot.
Packing too much into shorter time frames, aka "multitasking," has been found to have the opposite effect. Trying to juggle too many balls in an effort to be more productive ends up instead feeling like you are not getting anything accomplished.
Give a Little Time Away
When it seems like there are never enough hours to get everything done, the natural tendency is to view time as a scarce commodity to be hoarded. Research has shown, however, that giving a little time away in the service of others, perhaps by volunteering, is linked to increased happiness.
This may seem counterintuitive, since such activities consume one's time. But doing so appears to psychologically create a sense of control along with the perception of actually having more time.
Plan Your Time
One reason people value money over time is a common belief called "future time slack." We justify sacrificing time now because we think we will have more of it in the future. Of course, that rarely happens and the cycle endlessly repeats itself.
After a busy week, we enjoy planning but not overplanning free time. While spontaneity has its place, what often ends up happening when you plan nothing is — nothing. The happiest people make plans for how their time is to be spent and don't end up frustrated that those hard-earned weekend hours were wasted.
The happiest people are more rooted in the present.
Also, they are more likely to politely decline requests to be somewhere or do something that interfere with those plans, rather than reluctantly agreeing and then being unhappy about it.
Savor All of Life's Moments
Buying into the flawed notion of having more time in the future, the thought process of money chasers is, "When ______________________ (vacation, better job, bigger house) happens, then I will be happy." The late Dr. Wayne Dyer called this "a life of striving yet never arriving."
The happiest people are more rooted in the present. They take ownership of their time, make conscious decisions about how to use it, and are thus able to savor both life's awe-inspiring and ordinary moments.
Putting Time on Your Side
Perhaps so many of us concentrate on money because it's easy to keep up with. You know how much is in your wallet, bank account and investment portfolio.
Being slippery and fluid, time is a tricky concept to embrace. Like the air we breathe, it's always there, costs nothing and appears to be in endless supply. This erroneous perception makes it easy to squander.
Whether consciously or instinctively, the happiest people understand that time is "personal property" they own and are responsible for. And that true happiness comes from within, not from either material goods or outside circumstances.
The irony of believing money will make us happier is that the more we pursue it, the less happy we end up being. Focusing instead on time, having neither too little nor too much, and being deliberate in the way it is spent are what the happiest people have in common.