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Meatball Monday: A Long-Distance Grandmother's New Tradition

Connecting across the miles becomes easier with a little spice and sauce

By Freddi Greenberg

When I asked my grandson Max recently on FaceTime if, after returning late with his family from a weekend trip, they'd had "Meatball Monday," he looked at me as if I'd gone mad and answered with perfect six-year-old exasperation, "Of cawse!" 

"Meatball Monday" isn't just a funny name. It's a beloved family tradition for Max, his big sister, Ellie (age 10) and their parents. Although I'm a devoted cook, I never thought that a dish I made kind of randomly while visiting would turn into a weekly ritual.    

Freddi Greenberg and her grandchildren smiling in front of a cake. Next Avenue, grandparents, grandmother, grandchildren
Freddi Greenberg and her grandchildren  |  Credit: Freddi Greenberg

They live across the country from their grandpa and me. I worry about being irrelevant, and despite the distance between us, hope to be remembered for something. Anything.

Building Relationships with My Grandchildren

I began my career as a food editor and eventually headed two national magazines that focused on parenting (Child and Nick Jr. Family) so you'd think I could have come up with some kind of solution. The kids are picky-ish eaters, and these prosciutto- and peperoncini-laced little spheres break all of their rules, yet they have become as essential to them as books are at bedtime and Christmas trees and latkes are in December.

I had learned by making mistakes with my own kids not to pay too much attention to new food trials or to get too invested.

While many other grandparents head south in the winter, we decided that spending a month in Seattle with our furthest-flung kids and their family would be a way to get to know the grandkids in real life and to help their working parents. It also perfectly spanned their winter birthdays so I'd have two parties for which to bake cupcakes and hang up streamers. We'd be there for day care pick up, provide coverage if anyone got sick and, of course, provide home-cooked meals most nights.

I had lost my mom when my daughter was a baby and missed her support. Someone, okay a therapist, once explained the emptiness I felt when, as a young mother, I was giving so much out but didn't benefit from that unconditional love that a proud grandmother would have provided. So I had hoped to not only get to know my first grandchildren, but also to be there to help fill up my daughter's tank. In our family, food was the obvious fuel.

I might have had a hint that anything pasta-based would be a hit the first time I prepared a tiny bowl of spaghetti with a mild Bolognese sauce for then two-year-old Ellie during our annual stay. The pickier of the two kids by far, she looked at most new foods with the skepticism of a hard-boiled prosecutor.

A Family Tradition Is Born

I had learned by making mistakes with my own kids not to pay too much attention to new food trials or to get too invested. I was, however, surprised and secretly impressed with myself when Ellie inhaled the entire bowl. 

A few years after the baby Bolognese incident, I happened to try out a Spicy Turkey Meatballs and Spaghetti recipe on her parents. The recipe was from Mario Batali via Ina Garten's "How Easy is That?" cookbook. So, if you're reading this, Ina, you're equally responsible for Meatball Monday.  

My son-in-law loves anything spicy so I didn't hesitate to add some of the red chili flakes, thinking the little one would opt out anyway. Wrong. Ellie's meatball disappeared and a family tradition was born. 

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I never leave Seattle without leaving their freezer crammed full. And between our visits, Ellie has recently begun helping her mom or dad with meatball production. A fan of "Tiny Chef," the cultish YouTube Top-Chef-in-miniature show, she's even made a video documenting the process.

Finding Ways to Stay Connected

Having negotiated being a blended family for over 30 years, grandparenting from afar is our new challenge. Our five kids are grown and some sadly followed our advice about following their hearts wherever that might lead. (As my son once said in a song he wrote for his stepdad's birthday: We weren't listening but we heard every word you said.)  

As a former journalist, I found myself researching ways to stay connected to our five grandkids. I got some good advice and some that didn't work at all. One friend recommended a visit every six to eight weeks. (Good.) Another bought two of several children's books and tried reading them together online. (This tradition lasted for about 15 minutes.)

Ellie explained, "It's something to look forward to after the weekend's over. And it happens every week."

I also sought favorite treats to ship, which culminated one summer in my accidentally sending Max 250 (instead of 25) of his favorite Portuguese muffins (similar to an English muffin) which their entire neighborhood enjoyed as much as he did. 

Today, Spicy Turkey Meatballs, always served on Monday night (and now birthdays) are my legacy. This is the night my daughter, a psychologist, works late and I suspect the ritual provides a special opportunity for kid/dad bonding. Although I'd have chosen Dean Martin or Pagliacci for my red sauce playlist, somehow theirs features Edith Piaf, but it all works. 

Asked why the meal is among her favorite rituals, Ellie explained, "It's something to look forward to after the weekend's over. And it happens every week. Plus, it's one meal we can all agree on." 

And as she entered tweendom and explored vegetarianism, at one point Ellie announced that she was a vegetarian who eats meatballs.

Who knows where this tradition will lead? 

It has extended to frequent Sunday dinners with our local kids. My son the vegetarian's toddler seems interested in adopting the tradition and may bring his parents along for an occasional fall off the meatless wagon. The Seattleites' other grandparents now occasionally enjoy their own Meatball Mondays in solidarity and, like me, always have them ready when the families arrive for visits.

Meatball Monday has also given birth to Leftover Meatball Tuesday, served from the kids' school lunch boxes. It may not have the same ring to it, but at least it may keep me in the picture a little longer.

Freddi Greenberg 

Freddi Greenberg is the former editor in chief of Child Magazine and Nick Jr. Family among others.  Although her career began as a food editor she now specializes in Itsy Bitsy Spider singing, Ninjago genealogy and anything Spider Man.  In addition to meatball production, she is also the founder of purplepenessays.com, a college application essay advisory. 
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