Welcome to the Land of Misfit Toys — Our Basement

"Where should I put these?"

I glance at my partner's open palm which appears to be holding a mound of broken, yellowy toothpicks. Closer examination reveals tiny plastic men, many of whom no longer have arms.

"What are those?"

"They came with their own longboat," my partner Doug explains fondly. He digs a finger around the box, disappointed. "I guess the oars are gone now."

We've designated three piles as we go through his old toys in a corner of the basement:

Even though I can't understand why he is hesitant about crumbling amputee Vikings — who have since lost their oars — I'm patient because I know how difficult this is for him. I'm also equal parts proud and relieved that he's finally committed to seeing it through. We had embarked on a major decluttering project a number of years ago but since the toys were so arduous for him to deal with, they were eventually relegated to boxes in the darkness of our basement.

Sound familiar?

Decluttering is challenging and much has been written about how best to begin, but when it comes to toys (your toys, not the children's) the emotional toll can be especially wrenching.

"For some of my clients, they have such a love for their childhood toys that they imagine their own kids playing with them too," says Melissa Klug, owner of Home by Eleven where she provides decluttering services to the Twin Cities area and beyond. "But sometimes they find themselves disappointed when their kids aren't interested in, say, that Fisher Price rotary dial phone."

Experts agree that the overwhelming heart pull of toys is both understandable and poignant.  Gregory Chasson, associate professor of psychiatry and behavioral neuroscience at the University of Chicago, has written that, "There are many reasons for saving childhood toys but there are common themes. Childhood toys often have tremendous nostalgic value. They can also tie into a person's identity, so getting rid of these toys can not only feel like giving up something sentimental but also might even be a threat to a core identity."

For Doug, the most treasured toys were those that he played with regularly, and like many men of a certain era, he has a special fondness for cowboys. As a result, he has more than a few toy guns and despite my teasing, an online search confirms that some really are considered valuable.

Credit: Sue Sutherland-Wood

We then researched what would be involved in selling them but it's very important to know yourself. (Let's just say that Doug is not known for his love of following-up). As a result, some items were put in kind of a small "holding" area, but not back in the basement. (Neighborhood Facebook groups, a poster in the local library, word-of-mouth and garage sales can also play a role here.)

"Toys from childhood may hold special memories or serve as physical connections to loved ones, living and deceased," Christiana Bratiotis, associate professor in the School of Social Work at the University of British Columbia and an expert on hoarding, observes. "Holding onto toys serves as a reminder of easier times and provides connection to an earlier version of self that is longed for, in and amongst the unrelenting responsibilities and realities of adulthood."

"For many, childhood toys represent a more simple time of life, filled with games and imaginary play, grand adventures and magical worlds."

1. I bet this is worth something! This might apply to pristine, unopened boxes of Star Wars memorabilia but aging sandbox trucks with only three (cardboard) wheels and the original sand? Maybe not. A quick Google search can help.
2. I’m saving this for a grandchild. In our case — since no grandchildren have even been conceived yet — this means placing all bets on someone, eventually, having a child who is into all things Roy Rogers. (Just saying, this poor kid will also have no friends.) I also feel confident that if our own children ever became parents, they might not be stoked to receive a dusty set of war toys made of 100% lead ... (SO many things wrong with this!)
3. I wouldn’t mind giving this away to someone who would really appreciate it.This is a circular discussion because how would one even go about finding such an exceptional person? Facebook, a personals ad?  And then wild-eyed apprehension: "But what if these people then sold it for a huge profit?" (See how neatly this leads back to that very first swerving tactic?)
4. I just haven’t got around to fixing/assembling that yet. Um. It’s been six decades. The model paint has reverted to powder and that special day when you feel ready to tackle that (now moldering rice paper airplane) may not be coming anytime soon. I gently suggest that Doug’s ‘Super Model-er’ days are behind him.

Credit: Sue Sutherland-Wood

1. As you sort through, if there are items you think someone would enjoy, text them, with a photo, and get a quick answer. Hint: Believe people when they say they don’t want something – no hanging onto things just in case these misguided souls may not realize that they really did want a board game from the 50s! (Minus half of its components, of course.)
2. Understand that this will take some time. The main thing is consistency.
3. To keep the motivation going, we sometimes liked to imagine our children tipping all that we hold dear into a dumpster, like ice cubes cascading into a beer cooler. This is alarming of course (and hopefully not totally accurate) but it’s a good reminder that bequeathing our own decluttering angst to someone else would not be our finest hour. (Also imagine the days of vacation they’ll have to take to sort through everything …)
4. If you love something, set it free! Why keep things that are so cherished in a sealed box in the basement, or as we like to call it, ‘The Hurt Locker?’ Since being reunited with some of his favorites, Doug has bought two glass units to display favorite cars. Smaller items (including a Kit Carson cap gun and holster) are dotted throughout his bookcases. A prized football jersey is now in a frame. Metal cowboys ride across the wall near his desk and a few thumb-sized soldiers keep watch close by. Decluttering does not have to mean tossing everything.
5. For us, it was important to remind ourselves that absolute perfection should not be the goal. If we have a (very) few things left in boxes that is okay. The main objective was simply to avoid leaving a basement chock full of “stuff” for someone else to deal with. Full disclosure: I myself have an elderly teddy bear with glass eyes that I simply cannot let go – but he’s quite alone and not part of any military-bear collective in our basement.

I leave you with the wise words of Melissa Klug: "The toys of our youth provide a serious pull of that dopamine hit of nostalgia, for the days of playing with friends and not having to think about politics and mortgages. A treasured childhood toy is really a time machine for our brain."

Sue Sutherland-Wood has contributed to many publications, both in print and online, and her short fiction has won awards. Read more of Sue's work at her Substack. Read More