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Talking About It: Aging and Mental Health

In our lifetime, one in eight men will be confronted with the challenges presented by prostate cancer. This is the second story in a series of six articles where Jackson Rainer will discuss the implications of prostate cancer diagnosis, treatment and the impact on quality of life. I have prostate cancer, staged as an "intermediate unfavorable risk" with high Gleason scores. The Gleason score is a number assigned to prostate cancer cells, based on their likeliness to spread.  The score of the two main cell types in a tumor predicts its aggressiveness. Through the diagnostic process, providers continued to tell me what a lucky man I was to have the cancer diagnosed while the tumor was still localized to the prostate's fibrous capsule.
The author preparing for proton therapy treatmentBiopsies revealed the tumor to be aggressive, translated in my colloquial understanding and non-medical mind that the cancer was building enough steam to launch a somatic field trip, using my lymph system as a roadmap and my bones as its interstate freeway. Luck was held in the finding of the tumor's containment to the gland, while it was still at the gate and before it left the station, providing different treatment options.
One thing is certain about prostate cancer: It is complicated. I learned there is no obvious choice when it comes to decisions as I was tasked to weigh options leading a chosen course of treatment that I could live with, based on thinking over multiple factors, including the stage of the cancer, age, lifestyle and risk of side effects, such as urinary incontinence and erectile dysfunction.
The urologist served as my initial and primary guide. In a consultative appointment, I was seated in his office, clothed, with my notebook and pen (quite different from a clinical examination where I was disrobed, poked and prodded in unfamiliar and unpleasant ways). While invited to bring a companion and to record the conversation, I preferred to be alone with the physician and to take notes on the findings for myself.  
More Than Eenie-Meenie-Miney-Mo 
Choices for treatment of prostate cancer include:
Radical prostatectomy (surgically removing the prostate gland)Radiation, including external beam, implanted pellets, or protonFocal therapy (leaving most of the gland intact)Hormonal therapy (which suppresses testosterone, the primary fuel for prostate cancer)I learned that each of these treatments has pluses and minuses. Despite years of research and efforts to improve results, complication rates are stubbornly high, especially true in the case of sexual complexities. 
Men often report difficulty achieving erections for several years after radical prostatectomy, even when surgeons try to avoid damaging the nerves and blood vessels in the prostate that control erectile functioning.  
Sexual complication rates tend to be lower with radiation than they are with surgery, but radiation is associated with higher rates of long-term urinary incontinence and irritation, and impotence rates tend to rise over time. While significant focus of the conversation was on sexual impact, and I was interested in hearing about expected erotic hydraulics related to treatment effects, I was more focused toward issues of longevity and broader quality of life factors.
Da Vinci the Scientist and Nerve-Sparing Surgery 
The urologist said, "If you choose the surgical option, I'll be your primary physician." Like most men, I shuddered at the risks of a radical prostatectomy, especially the specter of permanent impotence, which used to occur in nearly all cases.  
This robotic version of the surgery tends to reduce the likelihood of other serious side effects, such as prolonged urinary incontinence. 
"No, no, no," the physician said. "Using the Da Vinci protocol, I operate robotically." With my liberal arts and humanities background, I know Da Vinci primarily as a Renaissance artist. I learned his moniker now is ascribed to a machine invented as a contemporary means of major surgery for prostate cancer. Manipulating robotic arms to perform a laparoscopic prostatectomy, the surgeon sits away from the operating table and uses tiny cameras attached to surgical instruments to locate and remove the diseased prostate gland.  
During this surgery, called nerve-sparing, the physician frees the two bundles of nerves that lie on either side of the prostate gland controlling erections. This robotic version of the surgery tends to reduce the likelihood of other serious side effects, such as prolonged urinary incontinence. When the procedure is successful, it takes a year or more for tiny nerve fibers to heal and knit together for a sufficient restoration of continence and sexual function.  
According to medical research reported by Harvard Medical School in 2024, nerve-sparing and traditional surgery have no difference in long-term (10-year) survival rates.
"You have other options," said the urologist. "With your cancer, you have the choice to pursue a combination of hormone therapy and radiation treatments. Let me refer you on to the providers who can be instructive."
Better Living Through Chemistry 
I had new teachers – a fine interventional radiologist and oncologist. They outlined a comprehensive and complex set of options that I quickly learned. Despite the adage that prostate cancer is a slow grower, both physicians made it clear that, for me, time was of the essence.
I was offered the option of proton beam therapy. In this course of treatment, radiation is released in a very narrow band, theoretically minimizing damage to surrounding tissue. 
Androgens are the family of male sex hormones, including testosterone, that function as fuel for growth in normal development. For some men, including me, they can also drive the progression of prostate cancer. Known by its acronym ADT, androgen deprivation therapy uses drugs to lower hormones and slow the cancer's growth.
Radiation treatments are delivered by aiming an external beam of radiation at a tumor or by surgically implanting small radioactive pellets in the prostate glad (an approach called brachytherapy).  
I was offered the option of proton beam therapy. In this course of treatment, radiation is released in a very narrow band, theoretically minimizing damage to surrounding tissue. This type of treatment continues to be under active research to determine if proton therapy offers a significant difference from Intensity-Modulated radiation therapy (IMRT), which increases radiation to the prostate while reducing radiation to normal tissues. IMRT is currently the most common form of radiation therapy in the United States.
Considering My Options 
I was challenged to decide among my options for surgery, ADT, radiation or a combination of approaches. For all men, this is a complicated decision informed by many different variables including age, personal preferences, and the presence or absence of other accompanying health problems. Attitudes toward incontinence, erectile dysfunction and the potential need for additional therapy are figural factors that come into play. 
Providers told me that the ideal course of non-surgical treatment would include receiving proton beam therapy plus ADT and would include enrollment in a clinical trial so that the risks and benefits of the therapy would be identified in a well-designed study.
It was his suggestion that "…You do the radiation and ADT. Be ready to stay miserable for about six months, then get on with a healthy life." 
I have a cohort of friends that are smart, collegial and companionable. Several in my loving circle of those I call "my peeps" include professionals working as ministers, entrepreneurs, pharmacists and engineers; several are physicians. I took diagnostic findings and recommendations to them for consideration.    
One friend, a physician specializing in genetics research, facilitated access to an interventional radiologist practicing in another regional health care system. It was his suggestion that "…You do the radiation and ADT. Be ready to stay miserable for about six months, then get on with a healthy life." 
My engineer friend opened doors with one of the surgical pioneers of Da Vinci surgery. His advice?  "Your diagnostic findings are on the fence for comparable options. If you go the surgical route, once you get over it, you'll never have to worry about it again."
I am in a monogamous romantic relationship. My "main squeeze" listened and lovingly said, "Make the choice that you can live with and we'll figure it out." 
All in my coterie offered thoughtful personal and professional opinions. As an extroverted social ager, their attention and willingness to talk through and weigh options was encouraged and welcoming. I am in a monogamous romantic relationship. My "main squeeze" listened and lovingly said, "Make the choice that you can live with and we'll figure it out." 
Ultimately all agreed as I chose the option of combined ADT and radiation therapy. It is now known as a standard option for those whose cancer is considered high-risk when the tumor has not extended beyond the prostate. Research supported that six months of hormonal therapy slowed cancer progression among men with my diagnostic profile and the radiation effectively rids the gland of cancer.
I settled in for the long haul and prepared for the lifestyle steps needed to meet the challenges of treatment.


Treatment Options for Prostate Cancer and What I Chose

Jackson Rainer

About 15 years ago, two widely respected research psychologists conducted what is considered the most sophisticated and comprehensive study ever done on the topic of retiring from work.
Interviewing nearly 1,500 retirees from all walks of life, they posed a series of meticulously crafted inquiries designed to elicit candid, extended responses to a central underlying question: Now that you're no longer working, how are things going for you?
Mark S. Walton anchoring the PBS television special based on his previous book "Boundless Potential: Transform Your Brain, Unleash Your Talents, Reinvent Your Work in Midlife and Beyond."Additionally, they interviewed 400 people of the same age and demographic characteristics who were still actively involved in their careers. The goal here was to understand this second group's expectations about retiring from work and compare them to the realities of retirement through a statistical method called regression analysis.
Along with their professional interests in all of this, the psychologists, Dr. Rob Pascale and Dr. Lou Primavera, each had a personal agenda at stake.
Pascale, in his mid-50s at the time of the study, had recently stepped down as president of the powerhouse market research firm he had founded, Marketing Analysts Inc., and was in search of the secrets of a long, happy retirement.
What Is a Good Retirement, Anyway?
Primavera, who was approaching age 70, in addition to his corporate consulting and teaching activities, was Associate Provost of Touro College in New York and was considering his future as well.
Once the in-depth interviews were completed, and the responses cross-checked and analyzed, Pascale and Primavera's results scientifically reaffirmed the findings of numerous smaller anecdotal studies, namely:
Full stop retirement is not right for everybody — in fact, for a solid majority of people, it can turn out to be a seriously bad idea.
Most retirees are reluctant to talk about this, Pascale told me, for fear of sounding naïve, argumentative or personally flawed. But because the study guaranteed anonymity to its research participants, they felt comfortable telling it like it is.
Consequences to Consider
"We found that most people are not aware of the conditions you're going to face when you stop working," Pascale said. "You're not aware that you're losing your friends, that what kind of job you had mattered. There are so many aspects to what happens in your life that there's no way you could ever know without personally being retired."
"You're really happy at first, then, all of a sudden, and there's a very predictable cycle, you start to go down, down, down."
I ran across Pascale and Primavera's study and reached out to them while working on my most recent book, "UNRETIRED: How Highly Effective People Live Happily Ever After." One thing I especially wanted to know was: based on the data from their study, would it be feasible to reasonably estimate the odds that you, or I or any one of us, would personally flunk retirement?
"Over time," Pascale told me, "our research showed that only 44% of people ever consider themselves to be happy after they stop working. One of the things we have when we retire is expectations that life will be this or that, but our expectations are driven by what we did in our lives, in our careers and how interesting or fulfilling and satisfying our careers were."
He continued: "Now that's all gone and the idea that you can replace those things with personal interests, hobbies or making new friends, proves to be false. In fact, that's the way it was for me."
Yes, you read that correctly, and it's an important part of the story of Rob Pascale and Lou Primavera.
Early Retirement Is Not for All
As mentioned earlier, Pascale was in his mid-50s when the study was done, and part of his motivation was to learn how to deal with the personal hopelessness he started to feel soon after his retirement.
Instead, the study results served to confirm his greatest fear: that even though he could easily afford it, taking early retirement was one of the biggest mistakes he ever made.
"I definitely should have stayed at work at least a few more years," Pascale explained. "I could have found an alternate way to reduce the pressure, like working fewer hours or hiring more people. There were alternatives that I could have done that probably would have worked out better. I wish I'd known back then what I know now."
Who's Most Likely to Flunk Retirement?
What are the character traits of people who would be happier if they continued to work into their 60s or beyond, full or part time, in their original career or a new one, even if, like Pascale, they could afford to call it quits?
While interviewing dozens of happily unretired people for my book, I found that a combination of several, or all, of the following words best describes them: highly effective, accomplished, creative, competitive, curious, easily bored, goal oriented and altruistic.
Practically all of these descriptions applied to Pascale, who miserably flunked retirement, and they similarly characterized Primavera, his fellow researcher who, at age 80, still vehemently refused to call it quits.
In addition to his college administrative position, Primavera had continued teaching in the classroom and relished every minute of his working days.
"I teach data analysis and research design," he told me. "I teach people how to do research studies, the kind of stuff you read about in the newspaper all the time. And I teach them how to do statistical analysis to understand the results."
Primavera credited the retirement study that he and Pascale had completed a decade earlier, for hardening his resolve to continue working as long as possible. Reviewing the results of their research, he said, had generated a moment of absolute clarity.
"There's always that initial elation, you know, when people retire," Primavera explained. "You're really happy at first, then, all of a sudden, and there's a very predictable cycle, you start to go down, down, down. And either you find a way up again or, if not, you're stuck at the bottom."
What About Involuntary Retirees?
"Seeing this in black and white, I thought to myself: 'I like doing what I'm doing, so I'm gonna keep doing it.' Do I need the money? No, but it's challenging me, it's having me learn new stuff. It makes me weary sometimes, upset sometimes, but would I give it up? Absolutely not."
And what, I asked him, would be his prescription, as a highly trained psychologist, for those of us who have reached or been pushed into retirement, and found ourselves bored, stifled and unhappy? Or for people who fear that, once retired, they might feel that way?
"Select activities that maximize your strengths," he recommended. "Analyze your skills going back to your original job or career. Where do they fit? Where will you feel good about what you're doing?"
Embrace Experimentation
"You've got to be willing to experiment, try out different kinds of work until you find something that's right for you. And then decide how to go about making it a part of your life."
If Primavera's advice resonates with you personally, you're far from alone. Based on government data, there are millions of Americans aged 65 or over with bachelor's or advanced degrees who are currently working — not because they need the money, but because they, like Primavera, crave the sense of meaning and purpose that a fulfilling job or entrepreneurship can provide.
Between now and the year 2030, their numbers are projected to grow by another 40%, as the seismic unretirement trend continues to change the map of life.


What Are the Odds that You’ll Flunk Retirement?

Mark S. Walton

Peter FramptonThe album that introduced him to the world nearly 50 years ago remains one of the best-selling live albums of all-time and later this year, Peter Frampton will be inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.
"It's humbling to say the least," he says.
His 1976 "Frampton Comes Alive!" album with mega hits like "Baby I Love Your Way," "Do You Feel Like We Do," and "Show Me the Way," highlighted his talents as a singer, songwriter and guitarist, and made him a global superstar.
His doctors, seeing how his musical background has helped him, now believe it may help others with the condition.
His Hall of Fame induction comes as the British-born Frampton, who now calls Nashville, Tennessee, home, faces some health challenges. In 2019, he surprised fans by announcing his Farewell Tour. It came with the news he'd been diagnosed with Inclusion Body Myositis (IBM), a rare and progressive muscle disorder with symptoms that often include weakness in the thighs, wrists and fingers. 
Frampton thought it best to stop performing on a regular basis, thinking the disease would eventually affect his ability to play the guitar.
Five years later, the 74-year-old is still touring.
While the disease has affected his body, it's happened at a slower pace than medical experts expected. The muscles in Frampton's legs have weakened, so Frampton walks with a cane and now remains seated when he performs. But he's still a master at playing the guitar.
"I'm still working and I'm doing good," he tells Next Avenue. "My legs are pretty shot now, so I have to sit down to play, but I kind of like that. It feels like we're sitting together in a living room, it pulls the audience in, and is much more intimate. And my fingers may have a little less strength than they used to, but they still know what to do."
And then some. On June 9th, Frampton was given the Les Paul Spirit Award in Nashville in recognition of his extraordinary talent, as well as use of innovation in his music. After gracefully accepting the award, Frampton sat down for a lengthy jam session much to the excitement of those in the room. He performed a string of his greatest hits, including a spectacular 14-minute rendition of "Do You Feel Like We Do" making it very clear as to why he's about to become one of the newest members of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.
Music as Treatment
His doctor, Lisa Christopher-Stine, who is the Director of the John Hopkins Myositis Center, says she's amazed at how well he's doing.
"We thought he'd eventually stop playing for his own comfort and instead he just kept getting better," she says.
She credits some of that to Frampton's pointing out the disease was "life-altering, not life-ending," his dedication to a non-negotiable exercise program he began on his own, and his extremely positive attitude.
"Peter Frampton has one of the most impressive outlooks and sheer determination and will of any patient I've evaluated in my 20-plus years of practice," she says.
Part of Frampton's ability to continue playing the guitar so well may also have something to do with the many years he's spent doing it.
He's been playing virtually non-stop since he was eight years old and got his first guitar. By 13, he was already in a band. At 16, he was lead singer and guitarist for Herd, then at 18, a co-founder of Humble Pie, before embarking on a solo career. 
Recognized as a talented guitarist, it was Frampton's use of the Talk Box which helped him create a signature sound that helped set him apart. The device allowed him to push the sound of his guitar through a tube, then insert the tube into his mouth to shape sounds or words.
Peter Frampton"I first heard Steve Wonder use a Talk Box," he recalls, "then Joe Walsh used it on 'Rocky Mountain Way.' And I started introducing it to the act in 'Do You Feel.' It hadn't been recorded that way and I remember the first night I did it, I could feel the entire audience move toward the stage another two feet. It was an incredible moment."
In the years since, digital technology has made it much easier to create new sounds with computers, but Frampton still uses his original Talk Box technique.
"Mine is still analog, it's not a digital anything," he says. "It's a physical thing that works which makes it much more appealing. I can talk to the audience through it, and they just love that, you know?"
While there is no cure for IBM, Frampton has sought treatment through the John Hopkins Myositis Center and is active in clinical trials. He's also created the Peter Frampton Myositis Research Fund and works to educate others about the disease. (Currently there are an estimated 24,000 people in the U.S. suffering from the disease.) His doctors, seeing how his musical background has helped him, now believe it may help others with the condition.
"My doctors say they are now asking new patients if they play an instrument and if they don't, suggest they start," he says. "Whether it be piano, violin, guitar, anything that keeps the fingers moving."
Christopher-Stine says Frampton has done quite a bit to educate people about the disease.
"He came in as a legendary rock star and has done so much for research and raising awareness. People have diagnosed themselves after he told his story."
She says there are currently two drugs in clinical trial, one of which is especially promising. It won't reverse the disease but could stop progression.
A New Album
Frampton is mindful his own IBM clock is ticking and is determined to make as much music as possible while he's still able.
"I'm working on a new album," he explains. "We'll go back into the studio, probably July-ish and start recording more stuff. I'm still working on some of the songs. It's got to be a 'best of' that people haven't heard yet."
The album will likely be out sometime next year. He's also busy with a documentary and will be shooting segments in London, New York, and elsewhere later this year. It follows his memoir "Do You Feel Like I Do," released in 2020.
"The great thing about doing the documentary is it'll be the complete story for the very first time," he says. "Apart from my book, of course."
In the meantime, he's looking forward to his October Rock & Roll Hall of Fame induction as he considers which fellow musicians he'll invite to be part of the ceremony. Throughout his lengthy career he's collaborated and/or toured with many of the best.
Even as he battles IBM, he'll still be able to perform at his own ceremony.
"I've got people in mind but I'm obviously not going to tell you," he says, laughing.
Frampton had all but given up on becoming a member of the Rock Hall because although he became eligible more than two decades ago, he'd never been nominated until this year. He's honored he'll have a plaque alongside other music greats like the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, Elvis and others.
He's excited, too, even as he battles IBM, it comes at a time when he'll still be able to perform at his own ceremony.
In the meantime, he's grateful for every day he's able to continue doing what he loves most, which is playing music, especially for a live audience.
"I just love playing with the band I've have had for so long," he says. "They're wonderful, wonderful players. So, yeah, I don't want to stop. Who wants to stop?"


Rock Legend Peter Frampton Remains Vibrant Despite Muscular Disease

Pam Windsor

StarburstCruising along a scenic rural road in the United States and Canada, you may increasingly find yourself passing buildings bearing colorful barn quilts — large wooden or aluminum painted quilt blocks (ranging from 4 to 8 feet) mounted onto rustic structures like barns, chicken coops, sheds, fences and businesses.  
Designs for these so-called barn quilts range from traditional geometric quilt blocks to flags, animals, flowers and family emblems. Almost anything goes — and the signs don't necessarily have to be mounted on a barn. They just have to be prominent enough to be seen from the road. Whatever their size, shape or design, however, these delightful pieces of art are sure to bring a smile to your face. And behind every block lies a story, like the one about an Ohio woman named Donna Sue Groves and her mother Maxine. 
Where It All Started
The barn quilt movement started in 2001, when Donna Sue Groves painted a sign in honor of her mother, Maxine, who was a quilter. Soon, neighbors were also painting and mounting large quilt blocks, and the trend spread all over the country. Groupings of barn quilts began to crop up and barn quilt trails were born, making for fun, self-guided road trips.  
CornucopiaBarn quilt trails allow small towns to show off their creativity and promote the art of quilting, memorialize local people and events and encourage tourism. According to Suzi Parron, co-author of "Barn Quilts and the American Quilt Trail Movement" and "Following the Barn Quilt Trail," quilt trail committees that paint and mount the barn quilts are usually behind the installations, but 4H clubs, scout troops and schools may also join in the effort.  
How to Pinpoint Trails to Visit
To map out a barn quilt road trip, go to Parron's website Barn Quilt Info and click on states you plan to visit. Once you click on a state, you'll be directed to a screen that features counties with active barn quilt trails highlighted in yellow. Click again, and you'll be directed to the website for a specific trail and to maps you can follow to view the barn quilts in that region. Once on the road, you can scavenger hunt for the barn quilts using the maps as guides. 
You'll find one of, if not the largest, barn quilt trail in Franklin County, Vermont. "The Barn Quilts of Northern Vermont Trail started in 2009 with 12 barn quilts, and grew from there, with barn quilts popping up all over the county without effort or advertising." says Sharon Perry, one of the organizers, who adds that "there are now 538 documented barn quilts at 453 locations." The 12 original barn quilts, which feature popular geometric quilting designs including the Mariner's Compass, Blazing Star, Maple Leaf, Starburst and Basket of Flowers, are located on Route 105 in Sheldon, Vermont, according to Fern Mercure, who started the trail with Perry after spotting barn quilts in Indiana on a cross-country trip with her husband. "There are about 40 barn quilts on Route 105 alone," she says.  
"There are about 40 barn quilts on Route 105 alone."
Another large trail can be found in Shawano, Wisconsin, says Parron, which bills itself as "Wisconsin's Barn Quilt Capital." Initiated by local writer/photographer Jim Leuenberger in 2010, it now has over 400 colorful and creative barn quilts. Parron also calls out the smaller Ponchatoula Quilt Trail in Louisiana as a fun trail to visit because it features contemporary designs, many created by artist Kim Zabbia to promote local businesses.  
But barn quilt trails are not confined to the Northeast, Midwest and the South. "I've seen beautiful trails in California and Alaska," says Parron, and "you might be surprised to find a barn quilt trail near where you live." So true — I recently noticed one a couple of miles from my home in Connecticut. 
When Should I Go?
Just as the best time for road trips is spring through fall, so, too are the best times of year to see trails. May through November, for instance, is ideal for venturing up to northern Vermont, according to Mercure. And while you're viewing these public works of art, you can enjoy the legendary New England green mountains vistas and, if the timing is right, fall foliage; make a stop to go apple picking and eat at The Abbey Pub and Restaurant in the town of Sheldon.  
Can I Make My Own Barn Quilt?
Naturally, many of the people who make barn quilts are avid quilters. But you don't have to be a quilter or a painter to make a barn quilt, says Kimberly Hess, of Essex, Vermont, a self-taught artist and quilter who now teaches people how to make the signs. Hess's classes are in high demand and she holds at least one class almost every month, according to Perry and Mercure. 
Flag and corn husk barn quilt hanging at a produce storeThere are many techniques and materials, but Hess recommends purchasing a 4 x 4-foot piece of aluminum composite (the material used to make signs), because it is lightweight and simple to hang compared with the marine-grade plywood that has traditionally been used. Once you've chosen a design, you need to do some math and wield a ruler to precisely map out the image on your sign, and then apply Frogtape to separate the sections to be painted different colors and to create straight lines. 
Barn quilts are really fun to make.
Hess uses indoor satin latex paint and applies the lightest color first in thin coats with long strokes to create a smooth image. "I tell people to imagine they're painting a fence," she says, "and to apply two or three coats." The tape can be peeled away from the sign while the paint is still wet, although it's important to go slowly so as not to disturb the clean lines you've created. Once the painting is fully dry, she recommends applying a sealant like Rustolem Spar varnish to protect the image from the elements.  
Barn quilts are really fun to make, the women I interviewed told me, especially as a group activity — and you don't need to be an experienced artist to make a barn quilt that people can admire from afar. You just need patience to measure, tape and paint slowly.  
"Even if you're not a great painter, you can still make a barn quilt that you are happy with," says Hess, not to mention one that will honor the art of quilting and your community. 


Following a Trail of Painted Quilts

Nancy Monson

My dad, a World War II veteran of the U.S. Naval Construction Battalions (aka the Navy Seabees) built a double-decker back porch at our two-story duplex, a brick barbecue pit in our back yard and three big closets in our basement. When my mother asked him to put in a second bathroom, he hung a fake urinal on a nail in one of those closets.
The author's father after a successful fishing trip.Mom laughed — and so did I. Daddy's sense of humor has inspired how I live, as have his deep love of reading and his innate generosity. Father's Day is the perfect time to honor my Greatest Generation dad.
Some Sundays, we had "double-header chicken," which took hours to cook because my father cranked up the grate on the grill, to accommodate the two games.
My love of baseball comes from my father. Every summer, on Sundays he and my grandfather would listen to the game on the radio while barbecuing chicken. While my mom and grandma fixed side dishes in the kitchen, my job was to bring cold beers out to the men now and then. Over time, I started sitting with them, learning about the game.
Sometimes, when my mother called out the back door to ask when dinner might be ready, Daddy would report, "It's only the bottom of the sixth" or "We have to break this tie first." Some Sundays, we had "double-header chicken," which took hours to cook because my father cranked up the grate on the grill, to accommodate the two games.
Reading Books Together 
On many Saturday nights, Daddy and I watched old movies together in the den, often while my mother read in the kitchen. Neither of my parents went to college, but both were avid readers. Like many of their generation, they belonged to a Book-of-the-Month club. Often, the three of us would bring different books to the dinner table, a practice now frowned on. "Wow — listen to this paragraph," one of us would say, and then read aloud. If we'd all read the same book, we would talk about it.
One summer, Daddy and I whipped through all of Ian Fleming's James Bond novels — and then laughed ever after, because neither of us could keep all the plots straight. I also read my dad's copy of "The Bluejacket's Manual," the enlightening handbook for all Navy personnel, and I spent time perusing the Teamster's contract, which my father, a truck driver and union shop steward, kept on our kitchen table.
The author's father, a World War II veteranAn avid fisherman, Daddy always baited the hook for me when our family went fishing because I was a squeamish kid who insisted on wrapping the doomed minnow or worm in a tissue before inserting the hook. Still, he taught me how to handle the tiller on the outboard motor so I could steer the boat out on a lake.
I learned the importance of expressing appreciation when I repeatedly saw my dad tip the letter carrier and the trash pick-up crew. At Christmas, he handed out bottles of whiskey; I make mini loaves of pumpkin bread. When a close friend had to give up his dog when he moved to a small apartment, Daddy convinced my mother to adopt his pal's pet.
Hanging Out on Saturdays 
Though many in his generation weren't much involved in infant care, when I was 8 or 9, sometimes my dad took me on his Saturday morning rounds. We might hit the barbershop or the hardware store (I love them still) or maybe we'd swing by my cousin's gas station to visit for a while.
At lunchtime, we'd enjoy sandwiches at the neighborhood tavern. I knew the place well, because families routinely gathered there on Friday nights, when dads lined up at the bar, moms talked at the tables in the center of the room and kids played Crazy Eights in the booths along the wall. We were loyal customers, because years before, the tavern owner had loaned my father the money to buy my mother's wedding ring. 
The author as a baby with her fatherGrowing up, I often heard great stories from his past. As a child during World War I, one day he ran into the backyard and gobbled up his family's entire monthly ration of butter. I also learned that a decade later, after his father had bought him a pony, Daddy traded the animal to another boy for a bicycle.
More than once, he talked about relishing the day he first tasted fresh pineapple in Hawaii, on a stop on his way to build airstrips on Guam during the war. We were a meat-and-potatoes family and my mom did most of the cooking, but each summer, my dad would make the occasional pot of succotash from fresh vegetables. He did not get along well with our new garbage disposal, and dismantled it one day when it mangled a spoon.
A 'Second Dad' for My Aunt
In some ways, parenting me was not my father's first experience. His sister, born 15 years after he was, often told me that he had served as "a second dad" for her, especially after their father died when she was 13 and their mother was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. "As I grew up, he was always reaching for his wallet," my aunt said, "offering me whatever money I might need."
When I was 16 and prone to gossiping about my classmates, Daddy would listen for a bit and then stop me with this challenge: "Run through your own backyard." 
He did his sister another big favor as well. When my aunt entered a convent the day after she graduated from high school, her big brother brought her back home the next day. He insisted she give that big a decision more time. Soon after, she met and married a wonderful man, and I owe my five first cousins to them.  
When I married at 21, my parents gave me the 1966 candy apple red Mustang that Daddy and I had convinced my mom our family needed to buy just a few years earlier. On the night my son was born, a year after my mother died, Daddy showed up at the hospital and promised me he'd buy the infant a Mustang when he turned 16. Sadly, my father died before he could make good on that.  
'If You're Going to Fall Down...' 
When I was 16 and prone to gossiping about my classmates, Daddy would listen for a bit and then stop me with this challenge: "Run through your own backyard." I remember my father's advice on another topic, too. Whenever I'm tempted to hurry — though that increases the chance for taking a tumble at my age — I remember Daddy's maxim, said only partly in jest: "If you're going to fall down, have a beer first so you don't get hurt."
When my father told a slightly off-color joke at the breakfast table the weekend I brought home my new college roommate, my mother and I held our breath until Janet burst out laughing, and then we joined right in.
I also recall laughing at Daddy's stock response to any unanswerable question: "Would you eat a cold potato if I warmed it for you?" He'd learned the saying as a boy, from Irish relatives.
"I loved your dad — he was fun," a cousin told me just recently. That he was, and I loved him too.


Memories of a Greatest Generation Dad

Patricia Corrigan

For his 60th birthday, my husband had a very specific wish: a pint in an authentic Irish pub. So, we flew to Dublin for a 24-hour pub crawl.
Dennis Nyhan's during his 24-hour 60th-birthday jaunt to Dublin for a pint in an authentic Irish pubEver since our daughter became a flight attendant, we have had standby privilege on her airline, meaning we can go anywhere it flies for a nominal fare as long as there are unsold seats on a flight we want to take.
My husband has been like a kid in a candy store — so many destinations to choose from. He agonized over where to go first.
One thing I love about my husband is his sense of adventure and spontaneity. I, on the other hand, like things more predictable, like making reservations, having an itinerary and budget.
Standby Super Savings
Flying standby is not for people who like control over the details. The stress and unpredictability of not knowing whether you'll get on a flight, what seat you'll sit in and when you'll land, is sometimes not worth it. However, I'm willing to lighten up a little and go along on these adventures with him because I know I would never have the courage, or recklessness, to jet off like this on my own.
Paying only $150 for two round-trip tickets to Ireland for his birthday was an opportunity we could not pass up. He was so excited. He coordinated our flights by finding standby seats from Chicago to JFK, then JFK to Dublin. We could only bring carry-on bags because if we didn't get a seat on the flight, our checked bags would go without us. Then, if we made it to Dublin, we'd have to find a hotel and navigate the train or bus system, or hope they had Ubers.
As hectic as standby can be, when you're awarded a first-class seat, it makes it all worth the effort.
So off we went. On that Friday, we got a seat on the 3 p.m. flight out of Chicago, which would give us an hour once we landed at JFK to get to the 8 p.m. plane to Dublin. When the captain announced we had to circle because there were no gates available, we started getting nervous. We landed 30 minutes late but we'd already planned our strategy.
As soon as the "no seatbelt" sign went off, my husband quickly moved to the front of the plane so he could be the first off. He ran to our next gate and told them to wait for me. My plantar fasciitis meant I couldn't run, so my job was to unload our bags and get to the gate as quickly as possible.
It worked. We were the last two on the flight and to our surprise, there was one seat left in first class. As hectic as standby can be, when you're awarded a first-class seat, it makes it all worth the effort. Being the gentleman he is, my husband gave me the first-class seat and he enjoyed four seats to himself in business class.
We arrived in Dublin at 7:30 a.m. on his birthday. Once off the plane, my husband set up his laptop at Café Bar in the airport lobby and I got us two espressos to get caffeinated before our day of bar hopping. We booked a hotel in the Temple Bar district and hopped in a taxi.
We had exactly 24 hours before our flight back to the states. Our plan was to start at the Temple Bar and see how many pubs we could visit. Considering it was about 2 a.m. in Chicago, we hadn't slept much on the plane, and we were 60 and 52 years old, we thought we'd be doing good if we made it to 4 p.m. Dublin time.
Temple Bar in Dublin, IrelandThe Temple Bar is an iconic venue. When my husband first talked about having a pint in an Irish pub, he had that corner building with a red façade in mind. The narrow cobblestone streets lined with historic brick buildings and hanging flowerpots was exactly what we'd pictured.
The First, Blissful Pint
It was 10 a.m. when we entered the pub but it could have been 10 p.m. Three men in the corner were playing "The Wearing of the Green" on a fiddle, accordion and Irish drum. The high-top tables were filled with people drinking pints of Guiness and eating oysters, smoked salmon and different cheeses with bread.
We went up to the bar and he ordered his first pint. For a moment he just held the glass and looked at that distinctly black liquid of the Guiness Draught with the frothy bubbles rising to the top and blending with the creamy beer head. As he brought it to his lips, he closed his eyes and a sense of calm and serenity came over him.
I didn't want to disturb his moment so I waited until he opened his eyes to announce, "Happy Birthday" and snap a picture.
When my husband explained to the bartender that his wish for this milestone birthday was to be right there at Temple Bar, he invited him behind the bar to get a good picture.
We had to move on because after two drinks, our bodies began to feel like they were melting with exhaustion — my muscles felt heavy and my eyes wanted to close.
It began to rain and then hail, so we jumped onto a hop-on-hop-off bus to get out of the weather and to the other side of the city. We jumped off at The Brazen Head, considered the oldest bar in Ireland, established in 1198. After a drink there, we strolled into another pub, not sure of the name, where patrons pinned dollar bills to the ceiling. He wrote, "Dennis was here for his 60th birthday," and stuck it in the wood above his head.
Hitting the Wall
My husband's ancestors are from Ireland but this wasn't the trip to pay homage to them, although he did raise a glass or two to them at some point during the day.
Melania Murphy and Dennis Nyhan in Temple BarWe kept walking so we wouldn't fall asleep, but we couldn't drink anymore. We visited Saint Patrick's Cathedral and found a stone plaque in the garden etched, "Near here is the reputed site of the well where St. Patrick baptized many of the local inhabitants in the fifth century A.D."
Further on we posed with the bronze sculpture of Molly Malone on Suffolk Street. Supposedly it's Ireland's most photographed statue. The bosoms of the casted character have become shiny from tourists rubbing them.
We made it to 7 p.m. before crashing in our hotel room.
Our cherry on top of the sundae, or bonus birthday surprise, was both getting first-class seats on the way home.
We had a great time despite my reluctance to be so carefree and thrill-seeking. I learned to have faith in our ability to make plans on the go and take advantage of opportunities that take me out of my comfort zone.
We found a plaque that my husband has made his motto: Take vacations. Go as many places as you can. You can always make more money. You can't always make memories.


Sláinte!

Melania Murphy

Fond memories of falling in love are easily evoked during the romantic new Broadway musical, "The Notebook," inspired by the 1996 bestselling book by Nicholas Sparks and the subsequent 2004 film. 
Maryann Plunkett and Dorian Harewood in 'The Notebook' on BroadwayThe movie about a devoted couple who never lose sight of their bond is considered one of the highest-grossing romantic dramas of all time and stars Ryan Gosling, Rachel McAdams, Gena Rowlands and James Garner.
Noah reads to his ailing wife from The Notebook, their life story that she put down on paper years before her memory started failing.
In this stage version of the story, which is a musical, there are three sets of actors portraying the main characters, Allie and Noah, a couple who fall deeply in love as teens, come back together as young adults, and are separated in their golden years by Allie's Alzheimer's Disease.
Allie is residing in a nursing home and her devoted husband Noah insists on continuing their lifelong love affair by refusing to leave her side.
To bring her back to him, their family and their precious memories, Noah reads to his ailing wife from The Notebook, their life story that she put down on paper years before her memory started failing.
Portraying Older Allie and Older Noah with a combination of humor and pathos are Maryann Plunkett, who won the 1987 Tony Award for Best Performance by a Leading Actress in a Musical for "Me and My Girl," and Dorian Harewood, an NAACP Theatre Award winner and an Emmy nominee.
A Lifetime of Love 
Plunkett and Harewood have both been nominated for Tony Awards for a leading role in a musical for "The Notebook." The 77th Tony Awards will take place in New York City on Sunday, June 16 and be televised live on CBS. (Check local listings for times.)
The message of the show is that true love conquers all. Even though these two lovers come from two different worlds (he works at a lumber yard and she is from an affluent family that tries to keep them apart), they share a lifetime of love that even severe memory loss cannot fully hamper.
After being married to his wife, Nancy, for 45 years, Dorian Harewood strongly identifies with the love story in "The Notebook."
In an interview, the 73-year-old Harewood said that kind of "fairy tale love" resonates with audiences, especially those who have experienced these emotions. "It is powerful to find that special someone to share your life with," he noted.
Harewood, whose decades-long career has included stage, film, TV and voice acting for more than 100 cartoons, calls "The Notebook" a special project, with extraordinary talent on stage every night.
Maryann Plunkett"I feel this is one of the most unique musicals I've ever been in or ever seen. Getting the Tony nomination is wonderful, but it's just another way for me to thank the people who I am working with," he explained.
Harewood credits his co-star with making "The Notebook" such a rich experience at every performance.
"Maryann is a very, very giving actor. All of us have to be ready because she doesn't do anything the same way every time," he said. "One of the most important things in acting is listening. I have to be on my toes with her and I truly look forward to this during every show."
Harewood says Plunkett was instrumental in making the rehearsal process flow so well. "We had five or six days where we got together before our first official rehearsal," he explained. "Once we started the official rehearsals, we already knew our individual habits, or at least our instincts, and the way we worked, so we were extremely comfortable from the first day. I credit her with that, and it was smooth sailing all the way."
Harewood said he has never experienced a show that had three iterations of the same couple, another aspect of "The Notebook" that makes the show so unique.
The Influence of Bette Davis on Dorian Harewood's Career
"I've grown to know the actors who play Young Allie (Jordan Tyson), Young Noah (John Cardoza), Middle Allie (Joy Woods), and Middle Noah (Ryan Vasquez) and they are tremendous performers. It's exciting to work with them and interesting to watch them create their magic every night; the pride I feel is kind of like watching my kids," he said.
Thinking back to his early career, Harewood has legendary stage and screen siren Bette Davis to thank for the path he has pursued. In 1974, while performing the lead role in the musical "Miss Moffat," the musical version of the movie "The Corn is Green," Davis took the young actor under her wing and gave him sage advice.
"She said she liked my dramatic instincts, which she thought were like hers, and told me I should consider exploring dramatic acting."
He remembers her saying, "I really loved your singing, but I also really loved what you were doing with the acting part, as well. Have you ever thought about acting?"  
Harewood replied that he started as a singer, and acting was not on his mind. "She said she liked my dramatic instincts, which she thought were like hers, and told me I should consider exploring dramatic acting. I told her, 'Well, coming from you, I definitely have to take that into consideration.'"
The two stayed in close contact during various roles and spoke a lot about acting and everything to do with show business. "Bette Davis is definitely the one who talked me into acting. She literally was my mentor in the business," he said. 
The Appeal of 'The Notebook' 
Of "The Notebook," Harewood said, "It doesn't matter what size you are, color you are, sex you are – it encompasses the entire human experience. It's a love story between two people, and their commitment to each other while navigating through the ups and downs of their relationship."
He added that "The Notebook" continues to have such a wide appeal because of "the uniqueness and universality of the love story. It goes across the entire human spectrum. That's why it affects everyone so deeply."
The cast of 'The Notebook' on BroadwayHarewood said that he believes that everyone, in one way or another, has been touched by memory loss and Alzheimer's.
"I grew up with a family down the street that was basically my second family; a terrific group of people. Unfortunately, my best pal Tony's mother and father both died from Alzheimer's. So, I experienced that secondhand through him," he shared. "Everyone has had some kind of connection with a friend or loved one who has had to deal with this."
Dealing With an Alzheimer's Diagnosis
An estimated 6.9 million Americans age 65 and older are currently living with Alzheimer's Disease, a number that could grow to 13.8 million by 2026 unless there are medical breakthroughs to prevent or cure it, according to the National Library of Medicine. Alzheimer's remains the fifth-leading cause of death among Americans ages 65 and older.
"Today, we see that our spouse is not going to remember the season or our names, but years later, she is not going to be able to use a fork."
Jennifer L. FitzPatrick, a psychotherapist with experience in Alzheimer's Disease/Dementia and a former gerontology instructor at Johns Hopkins University, is keenly aware of how difficult it is to reconcile the musical's theme of "time slipping away" for caregivers and their loved ones.
FitzPatrick says that since people can live with Alzheimer's disease and its symptoms for a decade or more, it presents a myriad of challenges for the patient and the caregiver.
"Today, we see that our spouse is not going to remember the season or our names," she explained, "but years later she is not going to be able to use a fork."
The CEO/Founder of Jenerations Health Education, Inc. FitzPatrick's advice for caregivers like Older Noah is "to be kind to yourself and practice self-care. Try to learn everything you can about the kind of dementia your loved one has."
One book she recommends is "The 36-Hour Day," because it explains in great detail what caregivers can expect to happen, both in the mind and body of someone with Alzheimer's.
FitzPatrick said it is wise to accept help from everyone who offers to help you and your loved one. 
"Don't screen people out because they are miles away or not as spry as they used to be," she said. "Friends and relatives can drop off a gift card for a favorite restaurant or offer to cut the lawn."
FitzPatrick is also the author of the 2016 self-help book, "Cruising Through Caregiving: Reducing the Stress of Caring for Your Loved One," a useful resource for caregivers that offers practical ideas and support, including help for those who are helping from a distance.
"Caregiving can be a big part of your life, but it can't be your entire life," FitzPatrick explained. "It is about reducing stress so you can be healthier while you are being a good caregiver."
The Power of Reminiscing 
"It is important to realize that there are people you thought had your back and will disappoint you," FitzPatrick said. "Instead focus on the support you have from family, friends, aides, adult day care, an assisted living facility or nursing home, and hospice care. It is impossible to do this for decades on your own."
"As my character says at the beginning of the show, it's a love story that will affect and will connect to every human being that comes to see it in one way or another." 
Writing in a notebook like [the one] in this story is a great vehicle, but FitzPatrick cautions that it is not quite as "flawlessly executed in real life because Noah is doing it in a way that is not pressuring [Allie]," she says, adding that some caregivers use flashcards with their loved ones which can add pressure for the patient.
"The idea of the reminiscing is beautiful because it focuses on long-term memory. So many people want to talk about what is happening in their lives right now and they get extremely upset when the person with dementia is not able to access it," says FitzPatrick.
Harewood says the themes from "The Notebook," both the smaller moments and bigger ones, are another reason the musical resonates with its audience each night.
"As my character says at the beginning of the show, it's a love story that will affect and will connect to every human being that comes to see it in one way or another," he said. "This happens because love is universal and this particular story about these two people who are in love is truly a universal story."
"The Notebook" is currently on stage at the Gerald Schoenfeld Theatre and has an open-ended run. 

'The Notebook' on Broadway — A Love Story That's Universal

Debra Wallace

You know about Yellowstone, the Grand Canyon and the Great Smoky Mountains National Parks. What about Rosie the Riveter WWII Home Front National Historical Park? Harriet Tubman Underground Railroad National Historical Park? Stonewall National Monument? Categorized as "idea parks" by the National Park Service, these sites focus on important ideas and moments in our nation's history rather than scenic vistas.
Three “Rosies” pose with NPS administrators, including K. Lynn Berry, Superintendent of Rosie the Riveter WW II Home Front National Historic Park. For the leaders who oversee these "idea" sites, the work — as well as the rewards — can be monumental. Following are the stories of five female National Park Superintendents, past and present, who spent their careers preserving history.
Shirley McKinneyFour Sites in Manhattan
"As park rangers like to say, 'we have green blood flowing through our veins,'" says Shirley McKinney, the superintendent of the National Park Service's Manhattan Sites. "We love our trees, but right now I'm hugging historic homes."
Shirley Mckinney at a Manhattan parks ceremony. She is Superintendent of National Park Service Manhattan sites. She oversees eight Manhattan area parks and one in Mount Vernon, including African Burial Ground National Monument, Hamilton Grange National Memorial, Stonewall National Monument and Theodore Roosevelt Birthplace.Since 2007, McKinney has overseen the Park Service's diverse collection of nine significant locations in New York City and one in Mt. Vernon, New York. Notable examples include the African Burial Ground National Monument — a revered pilgrimage site for Black family reunions — and Stonewall National Monument, a testament to the ongoing struggle for LGBT rights.
Interest in Hamilton Grange National Memorial — Alexander Hamilton's Manhattan home — has soared since the Broadway debut of "Hamilton," the hit musical that tells the story of that particular Founding Father. The show has renewed interest in Hamilton's life and legacy, drawing visitors to his former residence.
Similarly, the Theodore Roosevelt Birthplace, the childhood home of the 26th President, appeals to history buffs and road-trippers alike, offering a glimpse into the early life of one of America's most influential leaders.
"We call our visitors who visit the Theodore Roosevelt Birthplace 'Ted-ettes,'" McKinney says. "They love Theodore Roosevelt and they want to know everything about him." Roosevelt devotees may tour the townhouse where he was born, and then go to his house in Oyster Bay on nearby Long Island, where he resided when he was President.
"We love our trees, but right now I'm hugging historic homes."
McKinney has accompanied Archbishop Desmond Tutu of South Africa on an emotional visit to the African Burial Ground. She also welcomed Barack Obama, the first African American president, and Kamala Harris, the first female and first African American vice president, on their official visits to Federal Hall and Stonewall Monument.
"It's been a great career," says McKinney, who began her 44-year National Park Service career as a stenographer, and has since served in places as diverse as the Indiana Dunes National Park and the Mount Rushmore National Memorial. "I have always recommended that someone pursue it."
Deanna MitchellHarriet Tubman Underground Railroad National Historical Park
Deanna Mitchell is Superintendent of Harriet Tubman Underground Railroad National Historical Park in Church Creek, Maryland. The Harriet Tubman Underground Railroad National Historical Park in Church Creek, Maryland, teaches visitors about Tubman and the series of secret routes and safe houses known as the Underground Railroad. On her own, Tubman had escaped enslavement in Maryland but repeatedly returned to the South to help more than 70 other enslaved people reach freedom via the Underground Railroad.
"When people come here, we emphasize her rich legacy and how she worked along the Underground Railroad and with other conductors in helping folks to see freedom in the North," says Deanna Mitchell, Park Superintendent.
"There's another side to Harriet Tubman — she was a naturalist," Mitchell adds. "She understood these landscapes. She learned how to rely on the sky. She knew the tributaries, and she knew these marshes like the back of her hand."
Mitchell, who has 20 years of service with the National Park system and 38 years with the federal government, completed a two-year legislative fellowship to prepare future leaders within the National Park Service. Before that, she served as site manager of Tuskegee Airman National Historic Site in Alabama.
K. Lynn BerryRosie the Riveter WWII Home Front National Historical Park
Not many National Park Superintendents get to introduce visitors to living heroes. K. Lynn Berry, who has overseen Rosie the Riveter WWII Home Front National Historical Park since 2022, recognizes this privilege.
General Superintendent K. Lynn Berry oversees four Contra Costa County Parks in the East Bay, in California. The sites are: Rosie the Riveter/WWII Home Front National Historical Park, John Muir National Historic Site, Eugene O'Neill National Historic Site, Port Chicago Naval Magazine National Memorial.On some Fridays, park visitors can meet women who worked in defense factories during World War II — and were celebrated in a famous poster depicting a fictional "Rosie the Riveter."
"Fridays are a popular day to come to the park's visitor and education center because the Rosies are there," says Berry, "and it truly is amazing to hear stories from history firsthand, from the people who lived it.
"And it's not just Rosies," she adds. "We are also so fortunate to have members of the Japanese American community from the Richmond area who tell the story of the Japanese American incarceration during the war and the ways their families, business and community were impacted."
Park sights that tell the home front story are spread throughout the city of Richmond, near San Francisco. The sights include Japanese American nurseries, a visitor center, shipyards, a field hospital, child development centers and housing built for the tens of thousands of workers who came to the Bay Area to build ships for the war effort.
"It truly is amazing to hear stories from history firsthand, from the people who lived it."
Because the Rosies are volunteers and in their late 90s or older, it's not possible to guarantee their attendance. When they aren't available, park docents are present to discuss them and their significant contributions, says Berry, who has 14 years of National Park service.
Lawmakers in Washington in April awarded Congressional Gold Medals to all of the women, collectively as "Rosie the Riveter," who joined the workforce during World War II, Berry says.
"Nearly 30 Rosies traveled to the award ceremony at the Capitol where they were presented the medal by the Speaker of the House and other members of Congress," she adds. "It was a great privilege to be there with them and I could not believe I had the good fortune to represent the National Park Service and to share a little bit about the work we do to carry on the legacy of the Rosies at our park."
Ahna WilsonWomen's Rights National Historical ParkThe Harriet Tubman National Historical Park
Since January 2021, Ahna Wilson, a 15-year National Parks Service veteran, has overseen two National Park Service sites in the Finger Lakes region of New York State,  Women's Rights National Historical Park in Seneca Falls and a new Harriet Tubman National Historical Park, which is scheduled to open to visitors in June in nearby Auburn.
Superintendent Ahna Wilson addresses the crowd in Declaration Park during Convention Days, an annual event at Women’s Rights National Historical Park in Seneca Falls, New York.The Women's Rights Park is composed of several buildings spread across the village of Seneca Falls, including a visitors' center, the restored Wesleyan Chapel that hosted the 1848 Women's Rights Convention and the home of Elizabeth Cady Stanton, a leading figure in the women's rights movement in the 19th century.
Each July, the park hosts Convention Days, a three-day event honoring the arduous struggle for women's suffrage and highlights Seneca Falls' pivotal role in history as the site of the first women's rights convention.
The newest and second national park honoring Tubman will tell her story after she settled in Auburn in 1859 and where she made her home until she died in 1913. Visitors can tour the Thompson Memorial A.M.E. Zion Church where she worshipped and where her funeral was held. Across the street is her final resting place, Fort Hill Cemetery. Nearby visitors can find the Harriet Tubman Home, a partner site managed by the nonprofit A.M.E. Zion Church.
Wilson, a 15-year National Parks Service veteran, says it was a privilege to build a team and open a new national park. "The stories we get to share at Harriet Tubman and the deep connections we're forging with the community . . . It's been an incredibly rewarding experience."
The Woman Behind Parks Honoring Women
Judy Hart is Founding Superintendent of Women’s Right’s National Park in Seneca Falls, New York. She was also the Chief Ranger for Legislation for the North Atlantic Region of the National Park Service and first superintendent of Rosie the Riveter World War II National Historical Park. Photo date: 1982In the 1970s, while working as a legislative affairs specialist for the National Park System, Judy Hart had an opportunity to suggest new national parks for the Northeast region. "At the time, there were 312 national parks, and only three were dedicated to women," she says.
Hart's supervisor loved the idea of adding parks exploring women's many vital contributions to the country, and before long Hart found herself deep in park planning. Her task: to find a site and structures that were up to the park services standards of historical significance. Her background in law and parks policies allowed her to negotiate many logistics, and a knack for diplomacy helped to unite factions and open doors.
"I was blessed with the perfect elevator statement: Did you know that women couldn't vote in this country until 1920?" she says. This statement was a key part of her communication strategy, helping to raise awareness and garner support for the park's establishment.
"I was blessed with the perfect elevator statement: Did you know that women couldn't vote in this country until 1920?"
Before long, she found herself in Seneca Falls, tasked with opening a park devoted to the birthplace of women's rights in the U.S. Her experience led her to write "A National Park for Women's Rights," a book in which she acknowledges the pivotal role many men — and women — played in the park's establishment.
Next up, says Hart, may be a book on her final national park assignment, as the founding superintendent of the Rosie the Riveter WWII Homefront National Historical Park. The park opened in October 2000.
Meeting real-life Rosies was a "soul-filling" experience, says Hart, who is now retired. "They were typically 80 to 85 — the feistiest, liveliest bunch of women I ever met. We'd talk for a while, and I'd end with, 'What did it mean to you?'
"Universally, they would say, 'I learned I could do anything.' "


Women Shaping History

Jackie Perrin

Higher interest rates and anxiety over the stock market and economy have pushed more consumers to buy annuities, which is neither a good nor bad investment decision. Understanding annuities before you buy is something that most people fail to take the time to do. Instead, they are swayed by the promise of "lifetime income" or are sold on great features touted by the salesperson.
Before you sign any contract, ask for a copy to review at home. Then consult with an objective party like a Certified Financial Planner, Certified Public Accountant or other investment advisor.In simplest terms, annuities are complex contracts that investors buy from insurance companies with a lump sum or flexible payments over time. In return, the insurance company invests the payments to generate a certain income for the buyer that is paid monthly, quarterly, semiannually or annually, typically for life.
Annuity Facts
Four basic facts to know about annuities:
They are insurance contracts.They provide regular income, immediately or in the future.There are three main varieties — fixed, variable and indexed — each with its own level of risk and payout potential.The income from an annuity is typically taxed at regular income tax rates, not long-term capital gains rates, which are often lower.Some 401k plans offer an annuity as one investment option within the plan. They also can be purchased from independent insurance sales representatives.
Annuity Questions
Some insurance representatives take advantage of clients' fear of outliving their savings to sell annuities that are inappropriate for clients but earn the salesperson a great commission.
Before buying any annuity, be sure you understand your retirement needs and the following details of the product being sold to you:
The cost to you.The commission to the sales representative.The "surrender charge," or penalty you must pay if you withdraw money from an annuity during its "surrender period," which may last six to eight years after you buy it.The "underlying investments" in which the insurance company will invest to make the money they pledge to pay to you.How you will be taxed when you withdraw money from the annuity.Beneficiary benefits, or the amount your beneficiary would receive if you died. This could be the current market value of the underlying investments; their peak value since you bought the annuity, even if the current value is lower than that; or some other option.Beware of Industry Jargon
Knowing the details makes sure the product is right for you. Annuity contracts are written by insurance company lawyers using legal jargon that people who are not lawyers may find difficult to understand. Review what it says before you sign. And keep a copy of your contract.
Participants in defined-contribution plans can choose specific investments and now one of those options may be an annuity.
Most companies have stopped offering defined-benefit pension plans, which promise a certain payout for as long as the former employee is alive, in favor of 401(k) plans, which promise only to contribute to retirement savings accounts and make no promise about how much, if anything, former workers will receive.
Companies have embraced 401(k) plans over the last four decades because they are less expensive to maintain than defined benefit plans, especially as people live much longer than they did half a century ago. People with 401(k)s or other "defined contribution plans" — such as 403(b)s for non-profit groups and IRAs for independent workers — miss the security of monthly pension checks; many have chosen annuities to fill this void.
Participants in defined-contribution plans can choose specific investments and now one of those options may be an annuity. The government now allows them as a choice in their retirement plans — because the insurance companies have a big lobby. They fill a gap but are not a one size fits all.
Annuity Specifics
An annuity is a guarantee to pay a fixed sum of money. There are diverse ways to invest within annuities, or you can let the insurance company decide.
An important feature to consider with any annuity is its tax treatment.
Also, you need to know when you want to start collecting your annuity. As its name suggests, an immediate annuity is a contract that converts a lump sum to cash flows as soon as you sign the contract. A deferred annuity is set aside for a certain term before you begin to receive cash flows. In both options, the funds are invested, and the proceeds accumulate tax-free until you begin receiving payments. Most deferred annuities start their payouts after age 59½.
Annuity sales representatives must be licensed to sell this insurance product but may not be licensed to sell other investment products. If a sales rep does not offer you investment options beyond annuities, they may be licensed to sell only annuities. You may not learn about other investment options that could be more appropriate for your circumstances and risk tolerance.
No Tax Break at Either End
An annuity insures the life of the annuitant, the person who buys the policy. Children, spouses and next of kin do not receive the same amount that the annuitant would if they lived in most cases. Be sure you know what you are leaving your children or if the annuity has a guaranteed payout amount.
An important feature to consider with any annuity is its tax treatment. While the balance grows on a tax-deferred basis, the disbursements you receive are subject to federal income tax. The funds you receive are taxed at your regular income-tax rates. By contrast, other retirement investments are taxed at the long-term capital gains rate, which is generally lower.
Additionally, unlike a traditional 401(k), your contribution to a standalone annuity does not reduce your taxable income in the year you make the contribution. For this reason, financial planning experts often recommend that you consider buying an annuity only after you have contributed the maximum to your pre-tax retirement accounts for the year.
Before You Buy, Read Carefully
Remember you are signing a contract with a large insurance company whose business aim is to make money. Before you sign, ask for a copy of the contract to review at home. Then consult with an objective party like a Certified Financial Planner, Certified Public Accountant or other investment advisor.
If you have to pay someone to review the policy before you purchase, remember that you may be saving money in the long run by asking the right questions and getting a disinterested third party to weigh in. Consider your full retirement planning timeline before purchasing.
There are times when it may be appropriate to make a purchase to cover your needs. Sometimes an annuity makes sense to cover long-term care or as a vehicle for charitable giving.
If you want a steady stream of income in retirement, you may already have one: Social Security. You earned it, it grows over time and it is adjusted for inflation. Social Security is an annuity of sorts, with no sales commission.


Are Annuities Appropriate for Your Retirement Nest Egg?

C.D. Moriarty

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Are Annuities Appropriate for Your Retirement Nest Egg?