Connecting to the Past with Dishes Made in the Present
Remember, you don't have to use the exact recipe to experience the joy of a family dish
Every September, I scour my cookbooks and search cooking websites, searching for an apple cake recipe to make my family for the Jewish New Year.
There are a plethora of recipes to choose from. Each one promises to be the most delicious and authentic, the one that will taste just like your grandmother's traditional apple cake.
But none of the many cakes I have baked over the years has ever been my grandmother's cake. No one ever wrote down her original recipe. Every year, I attempt to recreate her cake, the one I remember eating as a child at my grandmother's house in Brooklyn, New York. And although some of the cakes I have made have been good, even great, I still have yet make the one that tastes like my memory.
"My grandfather used to make the soup using 'misto' pasta, meaning all the kinds of pasta that had been leftover so as not to waste any food."
Taste Buds and Memory
As explained in a 2014 article on Science Daily, "…there is a functional link between the brain region responsible for taste memory and the area responsible for encoding the time and place we experienced the taste had been found." The findings expose the complexity and richness of the simple sensory experiences that are engraved in our brains and that in most cases we aren't even aware of.
Dena Fenza, 49, of Long Island, New York, has very vivid memories of walking into her grandparents' home as a child and smelling pasta fagioli cooking on the stove.
As a child, Fenza didn't know that this dish she loved was what her family referred to as "cucina povera" or poor man's soup. She just knew it was delicious. "We were a big family with not a lot of money," says Fenza. "They needed to feed a lot of mouths on a small budget. My grandfather used to make the soup using 'misto' pasta, meaning all the kinds of pasta that had been leftover so as not to waste any food."
She continues, "Both sides of my family made pasta fagioli but a little differently," explains Fenza. "I remember seeing that big pot sitting on the stove, smelling the garlic in the air and being so excited to eat it all together with family."
Recipes and Stories
Since Fenza was the oldest grandchild, she spent much time helping her grandparents in the kitchen. "I don't understand why parents have their kids watch TV or play on their iPads when preparing a meal," says Fenza. "Kids should be in the kitchen, helping with tasks and learning to cook by watching. That's how I learned – my grandparents would say, 'Dena, peel the garlic or drain the beans.' And I taught all my kids to cook that way, too."
"No one wrote the recipes down, but luckily, I paid attention."
This time spent in the kitchen is how Fenza recreated her family's recipes. She says, "No one wrote the recipes down, but luckily, I paid attention. As an adult, I started trying to replicate the recipes, and it got a little better each time. My grandparents on my father's side were already deceased, but I still had my grandparents on my mom's. I could call them to ask questions when I couldn't remember an ingredient."
On her social media channels and in her cookbook, My Italian American Table, every recipe is accompanied by a story. For Fenza, the stories associated with the dishes are as important as the food itself.
"I am telling my family's history through the cooking, and I find that people relate to these stories," says Fenza. "My memories of being in the kitchen bring people back to their own childhoods, their parents and grandparents spent time preparing and eating meals together."
Meatballs as a Matchmaker
Beyond teaching her how to cook, Fenza's time in the kitchen with her grandparents allowed her to learn more about her grandparents' lives. She recalls, "I remember making razor clams one afternoon with my grandmother. As we were cooking, she told me how when she got married, she was only 18 and didn't know how to cook. But my grandfather thought she did and that she would prepare a home cooked meal for him each night."
"My grandfather would tell everyone what a great cook his wife was and that she made the best razor clams! He had no idea that his mother-in-law made it."
Rather than risk disappointing him, Fenza's grandmother enlisted help from her mother. Fenza says, "While he was at work, my great-grandmother would come over and make the meal for my grandmother to serve. My grandfather would tell everyone what a great cook his wife was and that she made the best razor clams! He had no idea that his mother-in-law made it. It was such a funny story, and I might never have heard it if I hadn't spent time in the kitchen."
Fenza also credits her time in her grandparents' kitchen for playing matchmaker. "Years ago, I was divorced and working as a cook at a restaurant where I made my family's meatball recipe," explains Fenza. "My now-stepdaughter Kelly loved my meatballs. When her parents were divorced, she would ask her dad to take her to my restaurant to eat when it was his night with the kids. And that is how I met my now-husband."
The Recipe Search Continues
Fenza admits that she has made some tweaks to her family's recipes over the years. "It's basically the same recipe but I do adjust and make improvements and I expect my kids will do the same with my recipes," says Fenza.
In other words, you don't have to use the recipe verbatim to experience the joy of a family recipe.
I may never figure out what exact ingredients my grandmother used to make her holiday apple cake, but I will continue trying. I wish she had written down her authentic recipe. But I also appreciate that in attempting to recreate it every year, I create memorable moments in the kitchen with my adult kids. They may never get to taste Grandma Pearl's apple cake, but they do get to hear stories about her as we continue the search each year.
