Luke Russert Traveled the World to Find Himself

When Luke Russert thinks about his life, it is in two distinct parts. "On June 12, 2008, I was 22 years old and a recent graduate from Boston College," explains Russert. "I am considering taking a gap year before grad school."

Then, on June 13, his father, legendary newscaster and longtime host of NBC's "Meet the Press," Tim Russert, died of a fatal heart attack at 58. When he found out the news, Luke Russert was in Italy on vacation with his girlfriend and his mother, Vanity Fair journalist Maureen Orth. Tim Russert had left the trip two days earlier to return to work.

A few days later, there was a memorial service for Tim Russert at Holy Trinity Catholic Church in Washington, D.C. "I was delivering a eulogy about my father in front of people like Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, John McCain and Barack Obama," explains Luke Russert. "In less than a week, I was born into adulthood and grew up twenty years."

That eulogy led Russert to forgo his plans for grad school and follow in his father's footsteps, becoming a correspondent at NBC. In his new book, "Look For Me There: Grieving My Father, Finding Myself," Russert talks about his career, his grief and traveling the world.

Russert admits he felt conflicted when job offers came in after he spoke at his father's funeral. He wondered if he was qualified or if it was nepotism; if people were drawn to his last name and his father's reputation.

"I talked it over with my mother," says Russert. "She always thought I had a natural gift for public speaking and should use my talent." The younger Russert was also very well-versed in current events.

"I was an only child, and my parents would talk about their work at dinner," he says. "From a young age, our conversations revolved around politics, so I was knowledgeable beyond my years."

After weighing his options, Russert accepted a job at NBC. "It felt like family," he says. His career progressed and Russert became a successful correspondent covering Capitol Hill.

One day in the spring of 2015, Speaker of the House John Boehner asked Russert to come to his office. "I thought he was going to yell at me about some of my coverage of him," says Russert. "Instead he asked me what I was doing there on Capitol Hill and suggested it was time for me to leave."

Rather than being offended, Boeher's words made Russert question whether he was on the right path.

"I had an enviable career. Why would I want to leave? And yet I was suffering from anxiety and panic attacks since my father had died," he explains.

Russert continues, "There is a term, 'arrested development,' where you stop developing at a certain age. That is how I was, stopped emotionally at age 22, the age I was when I lost my father."

Rather than processing his grief, Russert embarked on a whirlwind career, trying to honor his father's legacy. "Here I was, 30 years old, still not fully independent of my parents — a son trying to please a parent who was gone," Russert admits.

Russert decided he needed to make a change and get out of his comfort zone. He quit his job and set out to travel the world, hoping the journey would bring him some closure and help him figure out what to do next.

Initially, his plan was to have no plan and travel aimlessly for a few months. Instead, he wound up on a three-plus-year adventure, seeing six continents, learning about the world and about himself in the process.

"The biggest surprise was how no matter where I was in the world, everyone was looking for the same basic things," says Russert. "There are more similarities than differences between people. Whether you are in America, Africa, or Kyoto, Japan, all people want a roof over their heads, food in their belly, and opportunities for the kids."

Throughout his trip, Russert found himself connecting with his father. "There were signs of him everywhere," says Russert. "I felt his presence when I saw rainbows, certain birds, a traveler wearing a Buffalo Bills hat."

The trip also brought Russert closer to his mother. "My mom always loved adventure," says Russert. "But in her generation, the opportunities weren't there. Women were encouraged to stay close to home and become teachers or nurses. My mom joined the Peace Corps as a volunteer so she could travel." 

Russert realized through his own travels how much he was internally like his mom and had inherited her free spirit.

Although he didn't set out to write a book, Russert did bring a notebook to document his travels. "The journalist in me had to record the journey, the peaks and the valleys," says Russert. "I thought my travel log might be helpful to me or others searching for something. Organically, it took the shape of a book."

Russert thought that people his own age would relate to the topics in the book and they have. But it's also resonated with older adults. He says, "A lot of people in their 50s, 60s, even 90s, reached out to say that this book is helping them process their grief about losing their parents, especially men. I think it's because grief continues to be a taboo subject. We are taught to move on from it rather than deal with it head-on."

In the book, Russert remembers being nine years old and going to an Orioles baseball game with his dad. The two somehow lost each other in the crowd. After a few minutes, Tim Russert found his son and said to him, "Buddy, if we're ever separated, look for me there," and he pointed to a hot dog stand with a big Oriole bird logo.

This simple, relatable moment between father and son inspired the perfect title for the book. "I realized that after my father died, I had spent my life looking for him and wanting to be the man I thought he would want me to be," says Russert. "This desire to find him was why I chose to follow in his footsteps professionally and then propelled me to travel all over the world in search of him."

Ultimately, his travels and time spent writing the book led Russert to realize he didn't need to keep searching. "I could be my own person, and that is what my father would want for me," he says. "I don't need to wonder what he would say or think, I just need to tap into the conversations we had when he was alive to know what he would say."

Russert realized that he would never truly be separated from his dad.

"My father and the love we share is within me," he says. "The peace comes from acknowledging the grief, becoming comfortable with it and knowing that nothing will ever be the same, but it will be okay."

Randi Mazzella is a freelance writer specializing in a wide range of topics from parenting to pop culture to life after 50. She is a mother of three grown children and lives in New Jersey with her husband.  Read more of her work on randimazzella.com. Read More