For decades, many American workers could plan on roughly 40% of their retirement needs being covered by Social Security with another 60% covered by traditional pensions and savings. But people approaching retirement today face a different reality.
Nearly half (46%) of Gen X — up to 30 million people — do not think they will have enough saved to live comfortably in retirement.Traditional pensions have declined significantly since 1985, and Social Security trust fund reserves could be depleted by 2033, making the idea of benefit increases, even for middle class folks who have worked hard all their lives, highly unlikely. This means that Generation X — people between 41 and 56 and thus the cohort next in line to retire — and all future generations will need to plan differently for their retirements.
Almost half (47%) of all working Gen X will now retire later than they anticipated, and 40% plan to work part-time through retirement.
As future retirees confront a landscape with less support from traditional pensions and increased reliance on defined contribution plans like 401(k)s and 403(b)s, the combination of inflation, capital markets volatility and outdated approaches to financial planning only make things harder. If we don't act, retirement security could become nothing more than a "pipe dream" for many.
However, having weathered the Great Recession and the economic impacts of the pandemic, Gen X is resilient, self-motivated and resourceful. I'm proud to be part of this generation myself. We have the opportunity to lead the way in redefining what the future of retirement looks like in America.
We Have Work to Do
According to a recent Prudential study, nearly half (46%) of Gen X — up to 30 million people — do not think they will have enough saved to live comfortably in retirement. And 58% of Gen X members — roughly 40 million Americans — say they will rely on their Social Security benefit as a main source of income in retirement, even though Social Security was never intended to cover more than about 40% of a person's income needs later in life.
What does all this mean for Gen X's retirement future? Almost half (47%) of all working Gen X will now retire later than they anticipated, and 40% plan to work part-time through retirement. Gen X could also be the first generation to break down the Great Wealth Transfer — only 12% say an inheritance will be a source of retirement income, and a large majority (84%) does not plan to leave an inheritance to their children.
Only 16% of GenXers plan to use their home value to help fund retirement, with many planning to retire in place rather than "snowbird" to warmer climates.
Gen X, and all generations, need to think more comprehensively and creatively about retirement planning.
As Gen X ushers in a new retirement paradigm, the responsibility is on all of us — businesses, policymakers, individuals and the financial industry — to create a sustainable retirement planning model that takes us into the future.
It All Starts with a Plan
Gen X, and all generations, need to think more comprehensively and creatively about retirement planning. Human guidance should work hand-in-hand with technology to provide faster, data-driven and personalized support tailored to individual circumstances and changing external realities.
For those who prefer in-person interaction, sitting down with a local financial professional is a great first step. Together, you can create a vision for retirement and your own desired outcomes.
Determine what percentage of your fixed expenses may be covered by Social Security or other defined benefits, then identify options for making up any gaps and having enough left over for discretionary expenses like travel, visiting family and new passion projects.
If you are more comfortable with digital tools, a variety of online options — including my firm's Stages for Retirement resource — exist to help get people started. When using such tools, it is important to remember that their income and spending estimates are only as good as the information and assumptions you enter into them.
Save Smarter
Next, the industry needs to introduce smarter and more holistic solutions into today's defined contribution-based system — ones that help people make smarter decisions as they save for retirement. We must educate tomorrow's retirees about resources that can make it easier and less intimidating to save.
For example, the Secure Act and Secure Act 2.0 Act are recent landmark bipartisan pieces of legislation with common-sense solutions to help Americans bolster their retirement security, including automatic 401(k) enrollment and annual increases, delays in required minimum distributions, increases to catch-up contribution limits and more.
Strategies also need the flexibility to account for different and changing lifestyle preferences: delayed retirements, part-time work and aging in place. 
Employers and the financial industry must work together to make these types of critical solutions easier to access, including through more digestible information and clear roadmaps, so individuals know how and when to capitalize on these benefits to meet retirement goals.
Protect Tomorrow's Outcomes
Lastly, we must find ways to incorporate the best practices and features of traditional pensions, including risk mitigation and lifetime income planning, to protect the retirement outcomes of tomorrow. These strategies are critical to help Gen Xers avoid the damage that market volatility, longer lifespans and other potential hazards can inflict on otherwise well-balanced financial plans.
We need fundamentally innovative retirement strategies that will pick up where Social Security leaves off and create new, predictable income streams that will last as long as we live.
My colleague David Blanchett, who conducts research and analysis for PGIM DC Solutions, a unit of Prudential's global asset-management business, notes that products with a protected lifetime income benefit offer a promising piece to the puzzle relative to traditional income annuities. That is because they offer potential upside investment growth as well as a measure of downside risk protection against unpredictable external factors like market volatility and longevity risk.
Strategies also need the flexibility to account for different and changing lifestyle preferences: delayed retirements, part-time work and aging in place. Defined contribution plans, interest-bearing personal savings products like money market funds, investment vehicles and protection strategies can all play key roles in building a nest egg capable of generating sustainable lifetime income to meet these desired outcomes.
Gen X is in the middle of a retirement revolution. If we meet these changing realities proactively and head-on, we can transform the future of retirement from a potential problem into an area of significant opportunity and expand access to retirement security for millions.


Reinventing Retirement for Generation X

Dylan Tyson, Prudential Retirement Strategies

He died fuller of faith than of fears,
Fuller of resolution than of pains,
Fuller of honour than of days.
Inscription, Westminster Abbey, 1631Why do we so often die badly? How does it happen that so many of us arrive at the end of life unprepared for the journey? Somehow, we are stumped when it comes to creating a better model of dying. Our unique qualities as individuals are lost in the processes of medical institutions and funeral homes. For those facing our last days, we have a pretty good sense of what's involved.
This woman was able to participate in a robot tour of the Whitney Museum by driving a telepresence robot around the museum from her hospice bed in Connecticut.Twenty years ago, I started a nonprofit organization called Older Adults Technology Services (OATS) based in New York City that helps senior citizens build new models of aging while learning technology skills. We use design thinking methods to create new programs for social impact, using approaches like co-creation, prototyping and customer satisfaction metrics. 
We met with people in their hospice beds, in their homes, and on one adventurous occasion, in the Fabergé room at the Metropolitan Museum.
Recently we turned our innovation lens toward what was happening with older people in end-of-life situations to see if we could design new programs to help them. Using a design thinking methodology, we met with people who were dying and asked questions like, "What is a good day like for you?" and "If you could change one thing about your end-of-life process, what would it be?"
We met with people in their hospice beds, in their homes, and on one adventurous occasion, in the Fabergé room at the Metropolitan Museum. Some had been told they had months left, while others were living with just a few weeks in their prognosis. We visited other hospices around the country and spoke with social workers, chaplains, elder law attorneys and service providers.  We read books on death and dying by Caitlin Doughty, Atul Gawande and Richard Rohr. We had weekly review sessions and talked to experts on business planning and branding and customer experience design. 
We Are Failing at Dying 
Here is what we learned.
We are failing at dying. Instead of a time for growth, deep connection, reflection and deliverance, our ends of life are consumed by petty distractions and institutional imperatives. The dying people we interviewed had not given up on life; rather they were full of desire to mark their final days with meaningful experiences and leave their affairs in order. 
Yet almost everyone expressed sadness and frustration that they lacked a path for the right kind of death, the kind of passing that would reflect well the kind of life they had lived and the essence of the person they had become.
People described an entrenched group of institutions, resistant to change and wielding enormous power, which have grown to dominate the last stage of life — hospitals, funeral homes, home care agencies, religious organizations. When asked what they wanted instead people asked for three kinds of help: logistics, last days and legacy. 
We were expecting ruminations on the duration of the soul, and instead people were preoccupied with getting the sheets clean and arranging pet care. 
The Burden of Unmet Tasks  
"Do you know someone who can come clean out my attic?" asked one woman in her fifties, fighting cancer and concerned that her overworked and grieving husband was sinking under the weight of daily tasks such as lawn mowing and housework. It was a startling response, in a bedside interview, to the question, "what's most important to you now?" We were expecting ruminations on the duration of the soul, and instead people were preoccupied with getting the sheets clean and arranging pet care. 
Logistics, it turns out, are top of mind for people who are dying. One woman spoke of her satisfaction in having arranged her funeral details and even set aside a dress to wear in her coffin. In an echo of Maslow's famous hierarchy of human needs, the quotidian tasks form the base of the pyramid, and it seems difficult for people to elevate their thinking while still burdened with a laundry list of unmet tasks.
Many people commented on the need for legal help with logistics; writing wills, advance directives, health care proxies and financial plans. For many people, procrastination on legal matters resulted in family conflicts, loss of control over health decisions and anxiety about financial losses. 
Unfortunately, once people were already in hospice, it was sometimes too late to interview lawyers and schedule notaries for important documents. Critical decisions about health, finances and death planning were left to caretakers and service providers, leaving the dying individual with little control over final decisions.
Death Needs a Reset 
Being able to choose the location, activities and company of one's last days was a recurrent theme. Despite being just days from passing, people expressed interest in writing articles, visiting museums, doing last trips with family members and exploring culture. My organization was able to arrange a robot tour of the Whitney Museum for one woman, who drove a telepresence robot around the museum from her hospice bed in Connecticut. At the end of the day, she drove the robot to the window and silently watched the sun setting over the river. 
One clear message emerged from the interviews: death needs a reset. The handoff from doctor to hospice nurse to priest to funeral director is no longer the only path.
Finally, hospice patients were predictably focused on their legacies. We spoke for hours with people about their thoughts on post-death rituals, the value of a personalized funeral and the services that might help them express their individuality after passing. There was a great deal of openness to modern, innovative funeral approaches— "living funerals," celebratory parties after death and eco-friendly caskets and cremations. 
One clear message emerged from the interviews: death needs a reset. The handoff from doctor to hospice nurse to priest to funeral director is no longer the only path. What's at stake is no less than our self-determination as free individuals. Like any life transition, death is a chance to explore and express ourselves in our mature stage, when we have perhaps the most important things to say. Modern culture offers endless chances for tailoring this most personal of events to our unique needs, but our social discomfort talking about death blocks us from acting.
Time for Innovative Thinking 
We need a new approach to this experience, with higher expectations and more focus on dying well, not just expiring. 
We found some truly innovative models in our research: "death cafes" where people gathered to explore themes of mortality and end-of-life planning; alternative hospices such as the Zen Hospice in California and Regional Hospice in Connecticut; digital death planning apps and sites such as Everplans and Everest Funerals; community learning programs run by the Plaza Jewish Community Chapel; and a national dialogue and events series sponsored by the San Francisco-based nonprofit Reimagine. Unfortunately, these programs only serve a small percentage of those who want them.
Here is a vision for reshaping end-of-life services and systems in accordance with what people asked for in the interviews.
Logistics: We need insurance and financial products that recognize the need for intensive health and personal assistance during the end-of-life period and provide enhanced benefits for people who need them. Government might create tax-free plans for legal fees associated with end-of-life plans, and the service sector should increase programs to ensure that people over the age of 60 have a legal will, advance directive and other necessary basic documents.
Last days: Incubate and accelerate a new service sector focused on proper preparation and programming for end-of-life. As major life transitions go, dying is on a par with getting married or having children, so let's build an industry of death services to rival wedding planners and baby showers. Bring on the social entrepreneurs!
Legacy: Encourage innovation at end of life. We spoke to several innovators who had to pursue legislative recourse to overturn outdated regulations that restricted new approaches in hospice and funeral care. New York City has over 10,000 nonprofit organizations but only one nonprofit funeral home. We need to open the sector to more innovation and reduce regulatory barriers to innovation.
Fear of death and decline holds a strong sway over our minds as we age, and it's no wonder that we are reluctant to face it. But the longevity revolution means we are living longer and expecting more from each day of our lives, and technology is adding powerful tools for managing our last days and legacies. We need a new approach to this experience, with higher expectations and more focus on dying well, not just expiring. 


Solving for X at the End of Life

Thomas Kamber

At the age of 99, author Herbert Gold gripped his pen urgently each morning, in the wake of the Covid-19 pandemic, his arthritic fingers compressing every precious word with as much meaning for his children as time and strength would allow.
Herb, seated, Ari, left, and Ethan, rightHerb, who was a treasured friend, hoped to reach his 100th birthday on March 9, 2024. But following serious health episodes last year, he became more keenly aware of his mortality. Never one to lose the humor of his perspective, though, he told the editor of Scribner's "Best American Poetry of 2023," which would include one of his verses, "The first hundred years are the hardest, but the second hundred years present their own problems."
"He was severed from the things that sustained his spirits: the human carnival, and his own creativity."
Sadly, Herb died just before last Thanksgiving, four months short of his centenary. His sharply focused poems, though, are being celebrated on March 9, with the publication of his final book, coauthored with his twin sons, Ari and Ethan Gold. The launch event for "Father Verses Sons: a Correspondence in Poems," is set for San Francisco's famed City Lights Bookstore, which had stocked his 35-plus titles, of fiction and non-fiction, over the decades.
'Scribble Me a Poem, Dad' 
This decidedly unique poetry collaboration between a prime author of the Beat era and his Gen X sons was germinated in the loam of letters they began to ward off the isolation of the pandemic.
Ari Gold, a Los Angeles-based writer and filmmaker, explains in his introduction to the cleverly titled "Father Verses Sons" that a few weeks into a global lockdown, he realized that his dad, who lived independently in San Francisco, was mostly alone, aside from limited visits by his two daughters and friends.
Ari writes, "He could no longer see the keys of his typewriter. He could barely hear me on the phone. He was severed from the things that sustained his spirits: the human carnival, and his own creativity."
Ari, one of Herb's three children from his second marriage, snail-mailed an invitation to his computer-averse father with a self-addressed, stamped envelope. He urged, "Scribble me a poem, dad, / but it must be me I'm commanding, dreaming of the Baltics, / facing a palm tree, / waiting for hummingbirds / to meditate along with me."
Herb with Ari, left, and Ethan, right, at about age 9To Ari's delight, "My dad complied with the vigor of a young poet ... , and written with the urgency of someone who has little time to dawdle. Soon we were making up for human contact by mailing poems back and forth – about love, romance, sex, death and tomato soup." Especially motivating his father, Ari states in the book's introduction, "Mortality is the imagination's greatest engine."
"My dad complied with the vigor of a young poet ... , and written with the urgency of someone who has little time to dawdle."
Ari continues, "I wandered through words. He sliced to the essential experience of outliving his friends, his enemies, his wives, his lovers, even one of his five children. I wrote about nature, disaster, and my own dreams; he responded with poems about the love of his life – my mother – who'd left him first in divorce, then later in a helicopter crash. And I tried to forgive my father his imperfections, through poems that promised I would live on."
Later, when Herb's responses flagged, Ari's twin, Ethan, an LA-based musician, bought a book of stamps and "got our dad going again" with his own verses. Unlike their sisters from Herb's two marriages, his sons neither married nor had children. In one poem, Ethan writes reassuringly to his literary parent, "I always liked a museum, / the idea of permanence through art. / A balm for the childless." Later he invokes "the transfer of dreams / from generation to generation / ... through our hands, not our genitals!"
The new book's cross-generational perspective, with Ari and Ethan in their early 50s and Herb, born in the Jazz Age, survives not only the test of uniqueness, but "Father Verses Sons" achieves a distinctive, sometime discomfiting candor across the authors' parental divide.
Love, Marriage, Trauma 
It was my great privilege to have had Herb Gold anoint me as one of  his "pals" and converse frequently with his warm spirit and mortality-revved imagination. Almost every week, I'd ascend steeply, but more slowly than the hummingbirds that visited his living room window, to Herb's funky "Beatnik hovel" atop San Francisco's Russian Hill. From that rent-controlled apartment, since 1960, he would gaze down over Chinatown's rooftops to watch the world's ships glide under the Bay Bridge. He'd often mused about his nearing century of life, lamenting the loss of his contemporaries – "I'm the last one."
 "Someone famous will die that day, / My day, / And the newspaper will report: / 'More obituaries on page 24.'" 
One of his poems in the new collection brushes poignantly against Herb's disappointment that his rich prose oeuvre has been largely forgotten by the literary realm. He imagined his obituary to appear with, as one verse is titled, Other News on Page 24: "Someone famous will die that day, / My day, / And the newspaper will report: / 'More obituaries on page 24.'" 
Far from wallowing in self-pity, though, this poem seals his commitment to the nurturing power of friends and family. (His New York Times obituary declared, "Herbert Gold, Postwar Novelist of Love and Marriage, Dies at 99.")  Herb wrote that beyond"the curiosity of some, / the regret of several" is "the grief of a few. / Those few, they matter." The poem imagines them assembling in the green and fragrant Marin headlands across from San Francisco, "where I'm proud that the few gather trash, / But drop my ashes downwind, / And remember as I fly away."
In fact, on his day, Nov. 19, 2023, the death of former First Lady Rosalynn Carter did dominate the headlines. And Herb's New York Times tribute filled most of a page, concluding with this obituary poem, printed in its entirety. (It's the same poem also in Scribner's "Best American Poetry of 2023.") Also, the San Francisco Chronicle started its tribute on the following Sunday's page one.
Gen X Children With a Difference 
Since Herb died, I've deeply missed our precious time together in his shoebox of a living room. I'd arrive to see him enthroned in his high-backed Victorian rocker, always fixed with complete concentration over a manuscript or his daily New York Times.
Since Herb died, I've deeply missed our precious time together in his shoebox of a living room.
Usually, I had to shout, "Herb, Herb! I'm here!" Not until I was nearly under his nose would he jump and laugh and say, "Wait – I'll get my hearing aids." He'd quickly shuffle up the hall in his rumpled black sweatshirt, soon returning, his hair arced up in tall white egret wisps, his smooth hazelnut face breaking into a smile.
We'd dive into the day's headlines, so troubling. Often, events would evoke a library catalogue of friends and colleagues whose names define much of 20th American century literature: Allen Ginsburg, "Jimmy" Baldwin, Saul Bellow (his mentor), Francine Prose, Ralph Ellison, Vladimir Nabokov, Shel Silverstein, William Saroyan, Diane Di Prima, Philip Roth, Jack Kerouac (whom he disliked). While acutely aware that all were gone, Herb never let disappointment or his failing eyes and ears dry up his pen.  
We shared much, such as family roots in the same Ukrainian town; our Jewish mothers having made BLT's for their kids with bacon, presumably too delicious not to be kosher; and our both having Generation X children.
An intriguing difference for me, though, was that for Herb, as a World War II veteran, his Gen X kids came in midlife with his second marriage. That was a full generation later for him than my daughter's arrival was for my twentysomething baby boomer self. Those additional two decades strikingly alter the parental dialogue. In "Father Verses Sons," boomer parents will likely notice a more urgent and candid conversation between the Golds than they are having with their own middle-aged kids. So much to say, so little time.
The father-and-sons volley of voices in "Father Verses Sons" conveys a frankness that is unusual in the poetry of malehood. Midlife masculinity flexes its doubts in Ari's "Female Company," where he confesses ambivalence at finding himself to be a gray Lothario. He catches a sardonic glimpse of himself worthy of his dad and writes,  "I'm in New Mexico, I think, / looking for female company / in a sandy hippie café / ...  and I'm either the young buck or the old man, depending who's looking."
Elsewhere, Herb confesses, in "Diagnosis & Verdict,"
Even well into my eighties
I thought I was a young man.
I knew I would die someday
But the diagnosis would have to be
He died of the complications of young age.
Haunting "Father Verses Sons" is the family's traumatic loss of Melissa Dilworth Gold, Ari and Ethan's mother. In "Melissa (1943-1991)," Herb recalls, "to celebrate our divorce, / she sweetly brought me a spider plant / 'Because they never die,' she said. / Tendrils green, hanging like dreadlocks."
Sorrow and Reconciliation 
Melissa had parted with Herb in 1975, after eight years of marriage. Ari, Ethan and their sister Nina were in their early 20s when, as Herb continues this jarring memory: "There was a storm. / There was a helicopter. / 'She didn't die,' our sons and daughter say, 'She was killed.'"
Among the many photographs displayed among the book's poems is a news clipping showing the tangled remains of the Gold family's calamity. The deadly twist of metal is barely recognizable, jack-knifed high in a power-grid tower. The helicopter crash that gale-fated night in 1991 claimed the lives of Melissa Gold and her fiancé, rock impresario Bill Graham. In Ari's award-winning short film, Helicopter, rock stardom, its headlines and celebrity gawkers at the betrothed couple's memorial, would intensify the sorrow of Melissa's children, and shadow this book.
The Golds' aching honesty offers a glimpse of father-son conflict and reconciliation that rarely finds renewal so directly in contemporary literature. In these poems, readers will catch an updrift with the hummingbirds to a window on this family's intergenerational, final reckoning.
"Father Verses Sons: A Correspondence in Poems," by Herbert Gold and Ari Gold with Ethan Gold. Los Angeles, Calif.: Rare Bird Books, 258 pages. Publication date: March 9, 2024.

In ‘Father Verses Sons,’ Author Herbert Gold Meets His Gen X Sons at Life's Horizon

Paul Kleyman

At first, I blamed Doris. My four-year-old shelter dog walks so fast on the way to the dog park, I thought my striving to keep up triggered my labored breathing.
There were other culprits. Recently, when I was walking home with friends from a neighborhood restaurant, I tried to chat and match their pace. But I huffed and puffed. My pals are decades younger than I am was my prognosis.
"Scientific descriptions aside, for now, my inhaler is a genie in a bottle. Exhale, open and inhale deeply. Hold for 10 counts, Blow out slowly. Wishes granted!"But then, like an amateur pole vaulter easing past the bar but landing shakily on the ground, I leapt to my certainty of a pending  heart attack.
"I'm having trouble catching my breath when I walk my dog." 
"I want a stress test," I typed from my computer to my physician's portal. My fingers were unsteady, mimicking the speed of my heartbeats.
"I'm having trouble catching my breath when I walk my dog," I wrote. Then, to increase the dire needed to help me slip through her crowded calendar, I added: "Both of my parents died young of heart disease. My dad at 47 and mom at 67."
Time for an Exam 
It worked. "But before we schedule a stress test," she wrote back, "come in for an exam."
I felt safe in her office. If a heart attack did plan an invasion, I was in a perfect place to survive. With her stethoscope, she listened to my heart and my lungs. She used an oximeter to check my oxygen. All of these, plus blood pressure, were in the normal range. I was relieved, but not convinced.
"Let's get a chest x-ray," she said. Perhaps she observed the expression on my face that hadn't yet changed from fear to relief.
Isn't it a kid's illness? My grandson had it as a youngster. I remember him using an inhaler.
I took the elevator two floors down to the imaging lab, with my symptoms as accompaniment. I was not walking fast, but I was hyperventilating. I was frightened. Lung cancer. I have lung cancer, I diagnosed.
I returned to the doctor's office with prayers accompanying my panting. "Clear," she said after reviewing the screens. "No change since your last x-ray in 2019."
I was a death row inmate who had just learned of the governor's reprieve.
"Let's get a blood test," she said. "That will eliminate pneumonia or other infections. But I think you may have asthma."
Asthma! How could I get this disease? Isn't it a kid's illness? My grandson had it as a youngster. I remember him using an inhaler.
A quick search online confirmed that the prevalence of asthma is higher in children (9.4%) than in adults (7.7%) and it is the most common chronic illness in childhood.
I was mystified. For my advanced age of 85, I have been in good health. I followed the guidelines. Along with walking my dog four times a day, I regularly swim and do strength training. I eat leafy green vegetables with two of my three prudent meals. Portions are proportionate to my 4'9" frame.
Wheezing! So that's what that whistling sound is when I get out of bed in the morning.
I feel cheated, as if I had been chatting online with a potential swain only to find out he was a 12-year-old trickster.
Adult-Onset Asthma
Once home, I searched for symptoms of adult-onset asthma, which is the tag for anyone over the age of 20.
Wheezing! So that's what that whistling sound is when I get out of bed in the morning. I remember hearing it at other times in my life, like when I've walked uphill. Have I had the disease for years, but it's just now intensified?
And as for triggers, I had at least two and possibly four: indoor smoke, pet dander, swimming in an indoor pool and relatives with the disease.
I was a fan of incense. For about a month, I had been lighting a stick at nap and bedtimes. Ventilation was urged on the packages, but I had closed the window and bedroom door to assure quiet.
And as for the second clue, I sleep with a dog.
For the third, I checked with my health club, and they demurred, "Our pools (by an automated system that is checked multiple times each day) are kept within the Illinois State Bather Code limits – traditionally around 3 parts per million."
Genetics can also be a cause. But neither of my parents had the illness.
A Trending Condition
I quickly trashed remaining packets of incense. I upped my vacuuming of my apartment's hardwood and carpeted floors. And for now, I'm limiting my time in the indoor pool.
So instead of a heart attack, all my hazardous roads led to asthma.
Scientific descriptions aside, for now, my inhaler is a genie in a bottle. Exhale, open and inhale deeply.
According to the Centers for Disease Control, "Over two million persons with asthma are aged 65 years and older, with this number expected to rise to more than five million by 2030."
I am trending.
A message from my doctor revealed a blameless blood test. Nothing was afoot. A prescription for an inhaler was already in the hands of my CVS pharmacist. Medicare covers the use of inhaled steroids prescribed by a doctor. Now twice a day, I use an inhaler. As I write this, I've only taken 33 of its 60 doses. I can already feel the difference. Three of our walks to the dog park are easier. The fourth continues to prompt heavier breathing.
The unit fits in the palm of my hand, and by following step-by-step instructions complete with illustrations, I get a whiff of its magical powder, fluticasone propionate and salmeterol. The first is a steroid that reduces swelling in the airways. The second is a long-acting beta-agonist. Together they work to relax and open air passages in the lungs, making it easier to breathe.
Scientific descriptions aside, for now, my inhaler is a genie in a bottle. Exhale, open and inhale deeply. Hold for 10 counts, Blow out slowly. Wishes granted!
Triggers addressed. But I'm keeping an appointment for a stress test.
The dog stays on the bed.


I Thought I Was Having a Heart Attack, but I Learned I Have Asthma

Elaine Soloway

You apply for a job, are lucky enough to land an interview and make it through two or three rounds. Now, you've come to the part where the company wants you to do a test project. Unpaid.
Hold the hiring manager! Is this something you should do?
"There is absolutely value to test assignments as a way to identify the best candidates for a role, but that is what they should be — brief sample projects that are not taking the place of paid work done by employees,"Employer test projects — research proposals, sample presentations, reports, marketing data, written strategy and content-marketing materials — all fall under the umbrella of unpaid labor. It's intended to show the company you're a good fit for the job and have the chops do the work. However, more and more candidates are pushing back.
This is mainly because it throws the dynamic between candidate and employer even further afield, giving the employer all the power as candidates scramble to complete the assignment and then wait while the employer subjectively "judges" their work, often not based on criteria the candidate's given. Worse, the rejection prickles when the company hires another candidate who's a "better fit." Some applicants have found their work on the company website — after learning they didn't get the job.
The Value of the Employer Test Project
"We estimate that 80% of senior-level roles include a task within the hiring process," says Chris Mason, co-founder of Intelligent People Recruitment Agency, a firm in St Albans, England, that connects employers with specialist candidates across the U.K.
Mason also warns employers that any task given should not be viewed as an opportunity to get free consultancy and cannot be too onerous for the candidate.
"In my career, I've witnessed many cases where candidates engaged in lengthy unpaid projects that rarely led to employment."
"There is absolutely value to test assignments as a way to identify the best candidates for a role, but that is what they should be — brief sample projects that are not taking the place of paid work done by employees," says Rob Boyle, the marketing operations director at Airswift, an international staffing agency in Brisbane, Australia, that focuses on STEM jobs.
"When an employer uses unpaid work done by job applicants — especially ones who are ultimately rejected — that steps over an ethical line into exploitation in my mind," says Boyle.
Unfortunately, candidates have no way of knowing what an employer intends to do with a test assignment, so they can't use that as a metric for whether or not to decline it. Boyle says to consider the scope of the assignment. It may be a reasonable request if it only requires 15 to 30 minutes of work and directly tests skills or knowledge critical to the role. That's the amount of time you'd devote to a typical job interview anyway so you can think of it as yet another hoop in the hiring process.
Candidates eager to improve their odds, demonstrate their proficiency and land the job — especially if they don't perform well in traditional interviews — often take unpaid assignments in stride.
However, requests are becoming longer, and the "free work" can amount to hours of unpaid labor. What can you do?
Complete an Unpaid Test Project or Not?
You should cautiously approach any assignment that would take more than 30 minutes to an hour. "When you're asked for an unpaid assignment that seems excessive, a tactful approach is key to declining without closing the door on the opportunity," says Ryan Esco, the chief marketing officer of FireRock Marketing, a digital marketing agency that specializes in customer acquisition in Rockland, Massachusetts.
It's essential to negotiate terms upfront to ensure you aren't exploited, advises Esco.
Your Options
Ask to reduce the size or scope of the test project. "Assess roughly how long it would take you to complete the assignment and identify a portion of it that would adequately assess your skills and could be completed within 30 minutes or so," says Boyle.Request compensation. Explain to the interviewer that the time involved in the project is more than you are willing to do free but that you'll gladly demonstrate your work by doing a sample assignment for pay. If the employer agrees, you may expect the company to use your paid work. "This approach not only maintains your professional integrity but also sets a precedent for how you value your own work — a crucial aspect in any job negotiation," says Esco.Ask for the assignment to be completed within the interview process, whether in person or via Zoom, for skills like Excel knowledge or coding capabilities in IT.Offer to explain behavioral or situational skills by discussing a time when you solved a problem, created material from scratch, or relied on a presentation to achieve buy-in.Politely decline to do a lengthy test assignment and explain why. “While it’s possible this will knock you out of the running, that’s not necessarily a bad thing. An employer exploiting job applicants for free labor is a red flag,” says Boyle.Completing the Project
According to Mason, the two most common tasks companies ask a candidate to perform include a look back in time: 'Give us an example of when you have done x.' This type of task doesn't include a lot of research time for the candidate but allows the employer to assess their approach and strategy behind their work as well as their critical thinking skills.
The other type is looking at a specific business problem: 'We have x problem; how would you approach it?' This task requires research into the business and should include a time limit, but it can be presented verbally during the next interview.
"When an employer uses unpaid work done by job applicants — especially ones who are ultimately rejected — that steps over an ethical line into exploitation in my mind."
If you complete an unpaid test project, ask who will judge it — a recruiter, a hiring manager, or your would-be boss. Ask what criteria will be used to rate it and what skills will be assessed. If you don't get a satisfactory answer, you may decide that the company probably doesn't know, which may be a waste of your time since it isn't clear what they're looking for.
"In my career, I've witnessed many cases where candidates engaged in lengthy unpaid projects that rarely led to employment," says Esco. "The underlying issue often isn't about the quality of work but rather a signal of how the company values labor and creativity."
In addition, Esco says the hiring process is an opportunity for you to evaluate the company's ethos. If your gut feeling tells you that an unpaid task is more exploitative than evaluative, it might indicate the company culture at large.
To safeguard your work, propose presenting your findings or completing the task as part of a live presentation. A candidate can also ask the employer not to record the demonstration. Other precautions include asking the company to attest in writing that the work will not be used for anything but candidate assessment and "publishing" the work on your LinkedIn profile, noting that it's sample material for a job interview and you're proving ownership.
Remember, the right opportunity will recognize and respect your value without requiring excessive unpaid proof of your worth.


Beware of 'Working Interviews' for Jobs

Jennifer Nelson

Chances are, if you were asked to name the principal elements of planning and preparing for retirement, you would say things like saving regularly, managing expenses and keeping debt down.
Retirees with strong longevity literacy were more likely than others to report their lifestyle met or exceeded their preretirement expectationsYou probably wouldn't mention one thing that's also vital: your longevity literacy, which is an understanding of how long people tend to live after reaching retirement age.
Having a high degree of longevity literacy "is a fundamental part of planning for retirement," said Annamaria Lusardi, senior fellow at the Stanford Institute for Economic Policy Research at the Stanford Center on Longevity's Century Summit 2023. "Empowering people with longevity knowledge can move them toward having financial security."
Longevity Literacy and Retirement Readiness
Lusardi and fellow researchers at the Global Financial Literacy Excellence Center and the TIAA Institute found in a 2023 study that longevity literacy is directly correlated with retirement readiness. (My "Friends Talk Money" co-hosts and I discussed the study in a recent episode.) 
"The number of people who know how long a 65-year-old will live, on average, is really small."
They discovered that workers with strong longevity literacy are typically more confident they'll have enough money to live comfortably in retirement than those with weak longevity literacy.
Retirees with strong longevity literacy were more likely than others to report their lifestyle met or exceeded their preretirement expectations and more confident they will have enough to live comfortably through retirement.
But there's a big problem: Only 12% of U.S. adults have strong longevity literacy; 31% have weak longevity literacy, researchers at the TIAA Institute and the Global Financial Literacy Excellence Center determined after surveying 3,503 U.S. adults.
"The number of people who know how long a 65-year-old will live, on average, is really small," Lusardi said at the Century Summit.
Just 35% of surveyed respondents correctly said that the average 65-year-old man will live to 84 and the average 65-year-old woman to 87.
The survey also asked about the likelihood of 65-year-olds living to at least 90 and not living beyond 70. Responses to those questions were abysmal, too.
Just 32% knew that the likelihood of a 65-year-old man and woman living to 90 was 30% and 40%, respectively. Under half (46%) knew that the likelihood of a 65-year-old not living beyond 70 was only 5% to 10% for men and under 5% for women.
Lousy Longevity Literacy
Boomers were only barely more longevity literate than members of Gen X, Gen Y and Gen Z and none of the generations demonstrated especially high longevity literacy; just 13% of boomers had strong longevity literacy compared to 12% of Gen Y, 11% of Gen X and 10% of Gen Z.
This is the second consecutive year the Global Financial Literacy Excellence Center at the Stanford Graduate School of Business (formerly at George Washington University School of Business) and the TIAA Institute (the research arm of the TIAA financial services firm for nonprofits) have measured longevity literacy. The researchers' conclusions were similar for both studies.
"Men more often demonstrate a complete lack of understanding of the retirement planning horizon."
Their latest survey also found that men score much lower than women on longevity literacy and are more likely than women to underestimate how long 65-year-olds are likely to live.
While 26% of women surveyed underestimated how long a 65-year-old will live, 35% of men came up with ages shorter than reality. Similarly, 27% of women underestimated the likelihood that a 65-year-old will live at least until 90, but 32% of men fell short.
"Men more often demonstrate a complete lack of understanding of the retirement planning horizon," the report said.
Surya Kolluri, head of TIAA Institute, said at the Century Summit that this gender difference "flips the script" on what other studies have found about financial literacy. In those, women tend to be less knowledgeable about personal finances and investing than men.
Pessimistic About Longer Lives
In their November 2023 report for the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College (Longevity Risk: An Essay), economists Karolos Arapakis and Gal Wettstein cited other studies showing that life expectancy statistics "do not necessarily reflect how individuals perceive how long they will live."
"Empirically, parental age of death has been a poor predictor of an individual's mortality."
Many people in their 50s and 60s are pessimistic about their survival probabilities for two reasons, the authors wrote.
One is that the media usually reports the life expectancy for people at birth, not at 65. Elevated rates of suicide, homicide, unintentional injuries and other factors among teenage and young adults reduce life expectancy that starts at birth. Measured that way, average U.S. life expectancy in 2022 was 77.5, a slight rise from 76.4 in 2021, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. It's 80.2 for women and 74.8 for men.
The other reason people underestimate longevity is that they base their own mortality dates on when their parents died. "Empirically, however, parental age of death has been a poor predictor of an individual's mortality," said Arapakis and Wettstein.
Why Longevity Literacy Matters
It's good to know the real longevity for 65-year-olds because that information can help you save appropriately for retirement. If you underestimate longevity, you're likely to not have a big enough nest egg to last your lifetime.
The Center for Retirement Research report cited an internal Greenwald Research presentation that suggested "advisors are deeply concerned about many of their clients' ability to manage longevity risk." Translation: the ability to avoid running out of money.
"People are taking a longevity risk by not knowing the answer to the longevity questions," said Kolluri.
Improve Your Retirement Security
One starting point on the longevity literacy road is knowing how much you hold in retirement savings. But many people don't.
"Nearly one-fourth of people are unsure how much retirement savings they have," Kolluri noted.
"Nearly one-fourth of people are unsure how much retirement savings they have."
Annuities — financial products from insurers that convert a lump sum into monthly income for the rest of your life — are one way to keep money flowing throughout retirement.
However, financial advisors don't seem to recommend annuities to many of their clients, the Center for Retirement Research report said. Just 14% of Americans have bought an annuity.
"The question is why," said Dylan Tyson, president of Prudential Retirement Strategies at the Century Summit. "What are the structural barriers in the design of our retirement system?"
He pointed to research showing that 80% of people say lifetime income is something they want, acknowledging that financial services firms need to make annuities easier to understand and keep costs as low as possible.


Longevity Literacy Is Key to Retirement Readiness

Richard Eisenberg

Many people never give a thought to their coccyx, or tailbone, the triangular bone that sits at the bottom of the spine – that is, until it starts causing discomfort. Coccydynia, or tailbone pain, can afflict anyone. It can be chronic or acute, and it can resolve on its own or necessitate interventions ranging from moderate lifestyle changes to, in rare cases, surgery.  
Coccydynia doesn't typically lead to other conditions, but the pain can cause individuals to alter their posture or gait to avoid discomfort, potentially resulting in secondary musculoskeletal issues.While there's no single reason for tailbone pain, it often occurs after someone experiences a physical trauma, such as a fall, according to Leia Rispoli, MD, an interventional pain management specialist and physiatrist for DISC Sports & Spine Center in Los Angeles. But even prolonged sitting on hard surfaces, such as stadium bleachers, or taking hours-long car rides can trigger coccydynia.
"Sometimes it's unrelated to a direct impact, and can be related to spine or pelvic issues as well." 
"Sometimes it's unrelated to a direct impact, and can be related to spine or pelvic issues as well," says Rispoli. "We also see it in patients that have recently lost significant weight or muscle mass in the gluteal area." 
Paradoxically, obesity also can lead to coccydynia, as excess weight increases pressure on the tailbone, says Shoshana Ungerleider, an internal medicine physician in San Francisco and host of the TED Health podcast.
Other causes of tailbone pain? Sports such as cycling or rowing, as you're normally seated for those. Simply being female means you're more likely to suffer from the condition, probably due to womens' different pelvic structure and the impact of childbirth on the area. Less commonly, coccydynia can result from bone infections such as osteomyelitis or cancerous conditions such as chordoma.
Not to Be Ignored 
So, should you be worried if you suddenly have pain in the spot right above your buttocks, where your spine ends? It's probably too soon to panic, according to Ungerleider. Coccydynia itself doesn't generally present any danger, but that doesn't mean it's easily ignored. 
"It does not typically lead to other conditions, but the pain can cause individuals to alter their posture or gait to avoid discomfort, potentially resulting in secondary musculoskeletal issues," she said.
Rispoli agreed, adding that since tailbone pain is most often felt when sitting, people may try to avoid activities that involve sitting down, which can be tough to do – imagine trying to drive, attend performances, or go out to eat without being seated.
Getting Rid of Tailbone Pain 
Even if you fall and notice pain in your coccyx, you may not need to rush to your doctor. As with other bones that fracture, such as little toes and ribs, physicians often take a hands-off attitude toward the tailbone.
"It heals like a broken bone, which means it takes weeks to a couple of months." 
"It is something that can be broken; it's not something that we do surgery on," observes DJ Kennedy, MD, president of the American Academy of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation and professor and chair of the department of medicine and rehabilitation at Vanderbilt University in Nashville. "It heals like a broken bone, which means it takes weeks to a couple of months."
If you're bothered by tailbone pain that persists for more than a month or two, though, it's a good idea to get medical help.
"Management and treatment of coccydynia are usually overseen by a range of health care practitioners, including primary care physicians, orthopedists, physiatrists (rehabilitation medicine specialists), and, in some cases, pain management specialists or neurologists," Underleider said. "Physiotherapists may also play a crucial role in the patient's rehabilitation process."
Pelvic floor therapists can be a good resource for some patients, according to Kennedy, although people should know that treatment may involve transvaginal or transrectal manipulation.
Treatment Options 
Because tailbone pain can be referred from another part of the body, such as the rectum, ovaries, prostate or a different part of the spine, some clinicians may want to perform a physical exam or order an MRI or x-ray to rule out other conditions, such as cancer. According to Kennedy, if the pain can't be replicated – in other words, if the tailbone doesn't hurt when directly pressed on – the pain almost certainly is not being generated by the tailbone but by another body part.
Assuming an exam and/or imaging reveals nothing concerning, you'll probably be advised to take Tylenol and avoid sitting for long periods of time.
Assuming an exam and/or imaging reveals nothing concerning, you'll probably be advised to take Tylenol and avoid sitting for long periods of time in order to avoid aggravating your coccydynia; in fact, you may want to invest in a small cushioned or padded seat that you can take with you during times when staying seated is unavoidable. Your provider may prescribe nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs for pain management, although Kennedy advises against them as they can impair bone healing. 
If more conservative treatments don't do the trick and your tailbone pain becomes chronic, you may find relief with steroid injections that target the tailbone joint as well as the nerves around it. While this therapy won't alter the underlying issue causing the pain, Kennedy says, it can control inflammation and break the cycle of pain that's causing you so much distress.
Surgery may be considered as a last resort for patients who can't find relief any other way.


Coccydynia: A Pain in the Tail

Laurie Saloman

I recently asked my friends to describe the last time they were angry. The stories poured out. When her emails were hacked …when the plumber never showed…when the guy stole her parking spot…when the snotty salesperson ignored her…when customer service kept her on hold for 18 minutes before disconnecting the call. Then I asked each one to describe the last time she expressed her anger, face-to-face, to anyone who provoked it. Silence.
From left, Ali Wong and Steven Yeun in "Beef" on NetflixVoicing anger makes you visible; if you put up your dukes, be prepared for the consequences. 
Ah, to find that elusive just-right response, midway between shrinking and blowing up, the sweet spot between being shrill and being decisive. I'll write an irritated email. or leave a curt phone message or use shocking vocabulary while driving (anyone see "Beef" on Netflix?) but expressing totally justified, unattractive, strident anger? I'd rather stuff it down.
After a lifetime of nurturing and placating, I'm pretty good at steadying rocking boats. Feeling over-extended and saying yes when I should have said no is more comfortable than risking someone finding me unpleasant. Voicing anger makes you visible; if you put up your dukes, be prepared for the consequences. If you repress it, you'll remain invisible, trading a bit of resentment for the safety of going unnoticed.
What 'It' Is
I can't "let them have it"… those who deserve "it"… until I practice expressing exactly what "it" is. There was a guy in my neighborhood who always traveled with a dozen eggs on the front seat of his car. If someone ever cut him off, he'd reach down, grab one, open his window and throw an egg at the windshield of the offender. It was horrifying, of course, but I admit I never forgot his dark efficient alternative to being nice.
I grew up in a household where only one person was allowed to be angry. The vein on my father's forehead swelled when anger boiled over, its roar intimidating us into masking our emotions. Anger to me was destructive, hot and red faced and menacing. 
I don't think I knew a woman of my generation who grew up with her anger affirmed or validated. And when we're not taught to express anger in healthy ways, how can we not be uncomfortable when it leaks out?
Angry at Myself for Avoiding Confrontation
Looking back, there were moments when I'm as angry with myself for avoiding confrontation as I am with the person who provoked it. Most often it was a person with some power, confident and unempathetic. 
I remember that moment as feeling as mad at him for doing such a terrible job of delivering that diagnosis as I was scared. I said nothing.
There was a book editor who never responded to the chapters I sent her monthly until the manuscript was done. Then she said she'd been just so busy and meant to tell me I was heading in the wrong direction in chapter two. She scrapped the project. I swallowed my fury. 
There was a doctor who, after viewing a routine sonogram, actually diagnosed me in 2020 (not 1950) as having "the Big C", and then, when I nervously joked, "Well, am I going to live?" he remained silent for a VERY long time. I remember that moment as feeling as mad at him for doing such a terrible job of delivering that diagnosis as I was scared. I said nothing.
And a nurse in the hospital who said the floor was short of IV poles so my dying mother's request for morphine would have to wait till she got around to finding one. Instead of having a Shirley MacLaine -"Terms of Endearment" moment and screaming at her lack of compassion, I just sat there listening for a half hour to sounds forever seared into my soul.  When she returned, I thanked her. Ugh.
The Purpose of Anger 
What is the price we pay for swallowing our irritation? Ulcers. Depression. Substance abuse. Sulking. Self-doubt. Guilt. I'll never forget the one time the pendulum swung 180 degrees and I understood what it felt like to be spitting mad. Like a flash flood, it erupted, uncontrolled and uncontained … the price of waiting too long to be heard. Flying off the handle (do men fly off the handle?) left me hoarse, shamed and exhausted. I aspire to never feel that way again.
"I have no quarrel with your work. But heightening my anxiety and ignoring me is inexcusable." Then she said goodbye and hung up.  
In a time of Twitter (I know it's called X but I don't care), thousand-year-old wars, and You Know Who, it's easy to lose sight that anger serves a profound purpose, alerting us of our responsibility to change the patterns of injustice and powerlessness that are not serving us well, under out roofs and on the planet.
My 91-year-old friend has a physician who ordered some tests because he suspected a recurrence of her cancer. She waited the five days he suggested and when he didn't call her with the results, called him. He didn't return her call. Or the next two. 
When she finally spoke to him and found out she was OK, she recounted how many times she tried to reach him and then calmly said, "You are a good doctor. You came highly recommended and I'm sure you're very busy. I have no quarrel with your work. But heightening my anxiety and ignoring me is inexcusable." Then she said goodbye and hung up.  
Without couching her words or raising her voice, she felt heard. She found "it," the sweet spot.


Keep Your Cool. I'm Losing Mine.

Marcia Byalick

StarburstCruising along a scenic rural road in the United States and Canada, you may increasingly find yourself passing buildings bearing colorful barn quilts — large wooden or aluminum painted quilt blocks (ranging from 4- to 8-feet square) mounted onto rustic structures like barns, chicken coops, sheds, fences and businesses.  
Designs for these so-called barn quilts range from traditional geometric quilt blocks to flags, animals, flowers and family emblems. Almost anything goes — and the signs don't necessarily have to be mounted on a barn. They just have to be prominent enough to be seen from the road. Whatever their size, shape or design, however, these delightful pieces of art are sure to bring a smile to your face. And behind every block lies a story, like the one about an Ohio woman named Donna Sue Groves and her mother Maxine. 
Where It All Started
The barn quilt movement started in 2001, when Donna Sue Groves painted a sign in honor of her mother, Maxine, who was a quilter. Soon, neighbors were also painting and mounting large quilt blocks, and the trend spread all over the country. Groupings of barn quilts began to crop up and barn quilt trails were born, making for fun, self-guided road trips.  
CornucopiaBarn quilt trails allow small towns to show off their creativity and promote the art of quilting, memorialize local people and events and encourage tourism. According to Suzi Parron, co-author of "Barn Quilts and the American Quilt Trail Movement" and "Following the Barn Quilt Trail," quilt trail committees that paint and mount the barn quilts are usually behind the installations, but 4H clubs, scout troops and schools may also join in the effort.  
How to Pinpoint Trails to Visit
To map out a barn quilt road trip, go to Parron's website Barn Quilt Info and click on states you plan to visit. Once you click on a state, you'll be directed to a screen that features counties with active barn quilt trails highlighted in yellow. Click again, and you'll be directed to the website for a specific trail and to maps you can follow to view the barn quilts in that region. Once on the road, you can scavenger hunt for the barn quilts using the maps as guides. 
You'll find one of, if not the largest, barn quilt trail in Franklin County, Vermont. "The Barn Quilts of Northern Vermont Trail started in 2009 with 12 barn quilts, and grew from there, with barn quilts popping up all over the county without effort or advertising." says Sharon Perry, one of the organizers, who adds that "there are now 538 documented barn quilts at 453 locations." The 12 original barn quilts, which feature popular geometric quilting designs including the Mariner's Compass, Blazing Star, Maple Leaf, Starburst and Basket of Flowers, are located on Route 105 in Sheldon, Vermont, according to Fern Mercure, who started the trail with Perry after spotting barn quilts in Indiana on a cross-country trip with her husband. "There are about 40 barn quilts on Route 105 alone," she says.  
"There are about 40 barn quilts on Route 105 alone."
Another large trail can be found in Shawano, Wisconsin, says Parron, which bills itself as "Wisconsin's Barn Quilt Capital." Initiated by local writer/photographer Jim Leuenberger in 2010, it now has over 400 colorful and creative barn quilts. Parron also calls out the smaller Ponchatoula Quilt Trail in Louisiana as a fun trail to visit because it features contemporary designs, many created by artist Kim Zabbia to promote local businesses.  
But barn quilt trails are not confined to the Northeast, Midwest and the South. "I've seen beautiful trails in California and Alaska," says Parron, and "you might be surprised to find a barn quilt trail near where you live." So true — I recently noticed one a couple of miles from my home in Connecticut. 
When Should I Go?
Just as the best time for road trips is spring through fall, so, too are the best times of year to see trails. May through November, for instance, is ideal for venturing up to northern Vermont, according to Mercure. And while you're viewing these public works of art, you can enjoy the legendary New England green mountains vistas and, if the timing is right, fall foliage; make a stop to go apple picking and eat at The Abbey Pub and Restaurant in the town of Sheldon.  
Can I Make My Own Barn Quilt?
Naturally, many of the people who make barn quilts are avid quilters. But you don't have to be a quilter or a painter to make a barn quilt, says Kimberly Hess, of Essex, Vermont, a self-taught artist and quilter who now teaches people how to make the signs. Hess's classes are in high demand and she holds at least one class almost every month, according to Perry and Mercure. 
Flag and corn husk barn quilt hanging at a produce storeThere are many techniques and materials, but Hess recommends purchasing a 4 x 4-foot piece of aluminum composite (the material used to make signs), because it is lightweight and simple to hang compared with the marine-grade plywood that has traditionally been used. Once you've chosen a design, you need to do some math and wield a ruler to precisely map out the image on your sign, and then apply Frogtape to separate the sections to be painted different colors and to create straight lines. 
Barn quilts are really fun to make.
Hess uses indoor satin latex paint and applies the lightest color first in thin coats with long strokes to create a smooth image. "I tell people to imagine they're painting a fence," she says, "and to apply two or three coats." The tape can be peeled away from the sign while the paint is still wet, although it's important to go slowly so as not to disturb the clean lines you've created. Once the painting is fully dry, she recommends applying a sealant like Rustolem Spar varnish to protect the image from the elements.  
Barn quilts are really fun to make, the women I interviewed told me, especially as a group activity — and you don't need to be an experienced artist to make a barn quilt that people can admire from afar. You just need patience to measure, tape and paint slowly.  
"Even if you're not a great painter, you can still make a barn quilt that you are happy with," says Hess, not to mention one that will honor the art of quilting and your community. 


Following a Trail of Painted Quilts

Nancy Monson

We celebrated our 39th wedding anniversary recently. If there is a thread that runs through our relationship, we've been getting lost together since 1977, when we met. Our life together has been filled with joy and wonder and heartbreak and devastation. And no matter where we go, we get lost — every time. We are the two dumbest people in the world.
"I might not recommend getting lost as a strategy for marriage success," but it does have its advantages.I attended a college yearbook workshop at Athens, Ohio University. I met my fellow workshopper at our college's journalism building that Sunday morning. He was also to be my driver to the Ohio University workshop.
Our little detour through Indy added four hours to the trip. My bad.
He wore all white, his long, thick black hair jetting out from a white cap like Bob Denver wore in "Gilligan's Island." Dirty white sneakers, white jeans and a white shirt finished the ensemble. I was not impressed. The Brooks Brothers or Bobbie Brooks of the 1970s influenced neither of us. I wore jeans, a wrinkled shirt and a red bandana over my less-than-tidy hair. We were the freaks in the Eagles' song "The Greeks Don't Want No Freaks."
His car was a 1960s model black Caddy the size of Montana. He asked me if I knew how to get to Athens, Ohio.
I mumbled, "Go through Indianapolis."
I crawled into the comfortable red leather backseat and immediately fell asleep. Through Indianapolis we went, the Caddy rolling on the open road, heading southwest to go southeast. Our little detour through Indy added four hours to the trip. My bad.
I woke up to find our driver standing outside the car, looking across the Hocking River. We had ended up on a dirt-covered access road. Across the river was the campus of Ohio University, our destination.
So close and yet so far away.
Ten minutes later, we arrived at the campus; a yearbook friend I knew yelled out the window, wondering what had taken us so long.
I shouted back, "I never want to see this S.O.B. ever again," a lovely story about my triple X vocabulary that did not impress my betrothed family when someone told this story at our wedding rehearsal dinner. And this is the edited version.
Looking for America Together
Like the Simon and Garfunkel song, we married our fortunes together and spent the next four decades looking for America:
On the way to and from our honeymoon in Key West, we managed to get lost in Miami in our 1981 Chevette, landing at the same intersection twice. Or is there a Burger King at every intersection?Shuttles are the only means of transportation on Cape Canaveral tours, with multiple buses headed to the highly secure launch pad. We boarded our bus for the return trip to the entrance and took the last two seats. An exceedingly pregnant woman and her partner boarded after us and dawdled in the front, lacking seats. The driver came on the squawk box, looked directly at us, and said, "Two of you have boarded the wrong bus. Please get off and board your correct shuttle." We looked around and at each other. Did we behave graciously and leave? Of course not. We sat like the pyramids of Giza, unmoved."Do not miss the cutoff for Bedford, or you'll end up on the Big Dig," my husband said to me repeatedly as we drove to the Boston area on a late 1990s visit to my aunt and family in our hideous white Ford Windstar mini-van that was identical to the Bunny Bread mobile. Of course, I missed the exit during Friday afternoon rush hour traffic and headed right into the heart of Big Dig construction. Being distracted by the construction noise was no issue for me as the driver, but the distraught screaming from my husband and child did bother me.Lacking a Sense of Direction 
When our son brought his partner home to meet us for the first time, my husband got lost coming out of the Indianapolis airport, missed the northern cutoff, and part of Interstate 70 was redirected out on the southeast side of town about halfway to Cincinnati. The drive from the airport to the northeast side of Indy took about two hours. 
This poor woman, my son's girlfriend, had only met us on Zoom; our airport meeting was our first real introduction. What an impression we made on the new girlfriend as we screamed at other cars, at each other, circling roundabouts, many roundabouts, on the way.
We've been lost together in fifteen countries, about thirty states, and some of your finer cities.
Humans vary in their capabilities; neither my husband nor I have a good sense of direction, rather, any sense of direction. When we had an empty nest, we started traveling in Europe. We've been lost together in fifteen countries, about thirty states, and some of your finer cities: Toronto, New York, Amsterdam, Barcelona, Paris, Dublin and Milan. We've been lost in our little town. (Never volunteer to take home extra children at a Boy Scout meeting.)
We made the mistake of leaving our Bruges, Belgium tour to see Michaelangelo's Madonna, the one hidden from the Nazis and memorialized in "The Monuments Men." The sun was so bright that we couldn't see the maps on our phones (some people don't know enough to get out of the sun.) We accidentally found the group with minutes to spare before the bus left.
Getting lost does occasionally have its advantages. Looking for a pharmacia on a rainy Venice afternoon, we saw much more of the real Venice than our tour. We crossed the same bridges twice and had an incredible lunch in a place that didn't seat more than ten.
I might not recommend getting lost as a strategy for marriage success, but here's what I've learned. Couples face many problems and challenges. Dig in together and figure it out, sometimes with screaming, sometimes with crying, sometimes with laughter. 
When we married, we were in our twenties and couldn't see farther than our next paychecks. There was no G.P.S. for marriage; we worked together and figured it out.


Lost in Love and I Don't Know Much

Amy McVay Abbott

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