(Next Avenue invited all our 2016 Influencers in Aging to write essays about the one thing they would like to change about aging. This is one of the essays.)
When I was born, a person could reasonably assume a life expectancy of somewhere around 65, just two years more than the current average age of retirement. Speed forward to 2017, and life expectancy is 78.8 years, nearly a decade and a half longer.
Our longer lives — a testament to the spectacular advances in public health, nutrition and medicine over the last century — are something we should be able to cherish and celebrate. Yet, too often, our longer lives are blighted by financial and nutritional insecurity, ill-health and loss of independence. Indeed, it was witnessing this frustrating reality, as a social worker and a hospital and home health administrator, that prompted my creation of Partners in Care Foundation in 1997.
Another frustrating reality, one that Next Avenue's 2016 Influencer of the Year Ashton Applewhite so ably discusses in her book, is a tendency in the U.S. to see aging as something that, with enough potions, lotions or medical intervention, can be “fixed.”
Of course, it can’t. Alongside death and taxes, aging is, perhaps, the only other guarantee in life.
More Years a Boon or a Burden?
There are currently 46 million people aged 65+, projected to rise to over 98 million by 2060. Seventy percent of people turning 65 will likely need some form of long-term care during their lives. This bonus of time must be maximized by striving to optimize health over the years.
Let the enormity of those numbers sink in for a moment. There are now more Americans 65 and older than at any other time in U.S. history. At this new epoch, what must we do as a society, and as individuals, to ensure that our longer lives are a boon to our existence, not a burden?
Many governmental agencies and non-governmental organizations, including Partners in Care, are actively seeking answers to this question. And I’m happy to say they are coming up with some pretty compelling answers.
New Ideas in Aging and Care
Here are just three of the innovations emerging from the imperative presented by the Triple Aim (patient satisfaction, better health of populations and lower per capita cost of health care), a model by the nonprofit Institute for Healthcare Improvement. These have made demonstrable improvements to the way we think about the process of aging and care for our older adult population:
Person-centered care. Bruce Chernof, CEO of The SCAN Foundation and a fellow Influencer in Aging, wrote recently on Next Avenue about the critical nature of person-centered care that “values individuals’ quality of life outcomes, not just the technical quality of medicine.” The passing of The Affordable Care Act ushered in new opportunities to replace fee-for-service models with bundled payments that have encouraged better coordinated care, helped cut down on unwarranted and invasive tests and procedures and have been demonstrated to significantly improve patient health outcomes and experience.Post-acute care. This person-centered shift has also afforded far greater efficiencies and effectiveness in providing post-acute care. Care Transitions programs connect health coaches from community-based organizations like our own with high-risk patients recently discharged from the hospital. They help build health self-management skills, review medication use and identify the red flags of a worsening condition. That has dramatically reduced 30-day hospital readmissions, ER visits and the associated distress for patients and their families.Health self-management programs. Roughly 91 percent of older adults have a least one chronic condition and 73 percent have at least two. Empowering these people with the skills to prevent those types of conditions and to stabilize and actually improve their health, is emerging as one of the most powerful strategies for improving quality of life and thus controlling health care expenditures.Preserving Our Progress
We at Partners in Care hope that in its rush to repeal The Affordable Care Act, the new administration is not tempted to throw the proverbial baby out with the bath water.
So much progress has been made in developing programs that afford older adults the opportunity to age well, thus increasing their independence and dignity. We have unprecedented opportunities to redefine the aging experience — through prevention, through more coordinated, person-centered care that respects the uniqueness of aging and through personal empowerment to take greater responsibility for our own health.
Now is the time to respect, support and celebrate our extended lifespans. If care delivery systems, community organizations and individuals work together, we can reshape the journey of aging so it better serves us all.
 


Making Sure Our Longer Lives Are Healthy Ones

June Simmons

We are proud to honor 10 people who are taking action on aging 
This year, Next Avenue marks its tenth anniversary as an insightful and informative digital platform for readers 50 and older. Our mission, since launching in May 2012, has been to meet the needs and unleash the potential of older Americans through the power of media.
Our first Influencers in Aging list came along a little later, in 2015, and since that time, we've recognized close to 200 individuals who have made significant contributions to the fields of the topics we cover: Health, Caregiving, Work & Purpose, Money & Policy and Living.
As part of our tenth anniversary, we thought it only fitting to select 10 Influencers this year and we are excited to reveal them to you now.
Preparation for the announcement of the annual Influencers in Aging cohort begins in the summer, as we reach out to our readers and ask them to nominate people they admire in the aging space – whether for their activism, their thought leadership, their entrepreneurship or the way they display attributes of positive aging. Our Next Avenue editorial team curates a list of our own ideal candidates, and from there, taking all the ideas into account, the conversation begins, and we select our latest Influencers in Aging.
It is always a privilege for us to talk with each year's "class" of Influencers, as we remain in awe of their wisdom, their passion for their work and their commitment to improving what it means for all of us to grow older. From daily decisions about what type of food we're going to eat to make us healthier, to how we're going to plan in practical ways for the future, to our commitment to caring for others, to how we're going to live our best lives — right now — the Influencers we have selected offer us a road map, and a course for action.
To that end, you'll notice the titles of each of this year's Influencer in Aging stories contain "action words." Here are just a few examples: Actor Andie MacDowell, who is fully embracing the woman she has become (including her glorious gray hair) is "Loving Her Age." Yale professor and author Becca Levy is encouraging an "age liberation movement" and "Breaking Stereotypes about Aging." Dr. Frank Lipman, a leader in the field of functional medicine, offers a reminder that our bodies are "complex machines" and says "Aging Well is Up to Us." Ramsey Alwin, CEO of the National Council on Aging, is working on policies to help improve the lives of older Americans and "Championing Equity in Aging." And longtime PBS fixture Chef Martin Yan, who has been "Serving Up Four Decades of Must-Watch TV," tells entertaining stories of a career in food that still excites him every day.
We invite you to read and enjoy the stories of the 2022 Influencers in Aging, and hope you feel compelled, in any way, to take action as you pursue your own aging journey.


2022 Influencers in Aging

Change is good and we're excited about a change in the way we honor and recognize individuals who continue to break new ground on the challenges and opportunities facing people over 50. 
Advocates for Aging emphasizes the forward-thinking work of these individuals in areas such as caregiving, employment, public policy, perceptions of aging, longevity and health.
Formerly known as Influencers in Aging, Advocates for Aging emphasizes the forward-thinking work of these individuals in areas such as caregiving, employment, public policy, perceptions of aging, longevity and health. These are Advocates who are striving to make life better for all older adults, to empower them and to celebrate the perspectives they bring to life. 
This year, for the first time, Next Avenue partnered with the American Society on Aging (ASA) to select the Advocates for Aging. We are excited to have the opportunity to help recognize the 70th anniversary of the American Society on Aging in this way.
Our team of Next Avenue editors will have the privilege of speaking with this esteemed group of thought leaders, creators and activists in the next few weeks. 
On Tuesday, Mar. 12, come back to Next Avenue to read more about them!
Next Avenue's Advocates for Aging 
DeLon Canterbury 
Founder of GeriatRx, DeLon Canterbury is a North Carolina-based board certified geriatric pharmacist who founded his consulting company in order to help provide support to caregivers and older adults when it comes to creating the best pharmaceutical care plan.
Rosanne Corcoran 
Rosanne Corcoran spent 12 years caring for her mother, who was suffering from dementia; in a true sandwich generation role, she was also raising her own teenagers. Rosanne learned firsthand the joys and challenges of caregiving and launched a monthly podcast to help others facing the same struggles called Daughterhood the Podcast.
Jan Golden
We've all seen them – the "over the hill" kinds of birthday cards that denigrate and mock aging. Jan Golden decided to do something about that and created a line of greeting cards and gifts celebrating aging. Her company, Age-Friendly Vibes, has become a true passion project.
Carl Honoré
Journalist, speaker and bestselling author Carl Honoré has tackled topics like slowing down the speed of daily living and most recently, aging, with "Bolder: Making the Most of Our Longer Lives." His work has been recognized worldwide (including this TedTalk on why we should embrace aging as an adventure) and of "Bolder," The Daily Mail called it "a joyously life-enhancing book (that) shatters the myths about ageing." 
Bill McKibben
The American environmentalist and author is founder of Third Act, which encourages people over 60 to speak up and take action in service to the climate and justice. He also helped found 350.org, "working to end the age of fossil fuels and build a world of community-centered renewable energy for all."
Mona Mourshed 
Generation is "a global nonprofit network that supports people to achieve economic mobility and a better life." Founder and CEO Mona Mourshed is a proven leader in the education and workforce space and has authored education reports, including Education to Employment: Getting Europe's Youth Into Work, and Education to Employment: Designing a System That Works.
Fernando Torres-Gil
Appointed to the Federal Council on Aging by President Jimmy Carter in 1978 (for the first of three appointments, the last by President Barack Obama), Fernando Torres-Gil has had a long career in academia and public policy. He is currently a Professor of Social Welfare and Public Policy at UCLA, an adjunct professor of gerontology at USC and director of the UCLA Center for Policy Research on Aging. He's the author of six books and more than 100 publications.
Judy Woodruff
Judy Woodruff may have stepped aside from the anchor chair at PBS NewsHour, but she's done so to take to the road and travel across the United States over the next two years for a reporting project, America at a Crossroads, where she will examine America's political divisions.



Coming Soon: Next Avenue's Advocates for Aging

Julie Pfitzinger

(This content is sponsored by grandPad.)
I have a mother I adore — she's strong, wise, funny and kind. I'm grateful for her every day.
She's 89 years old and lives alone. After 59 years of marriage, she was widowed five years ago when my dad had a sudden brain hemorrhage. Caring about — and sometimes for — my mother is a meaningful part of my life. It is not, however, easy.
I'm in good company. Parent care is the new go-to topic among girlfriends. We talk about our parent's conditions, care arrangements, wishes and safety. We cover the spectrum: strained relationships, parents with difficult behaviors, long-distance parents, even all-out feuds with siblings about care arrangements.
There is one thing we all share: We want to ensure the health, safety and joy of our our aging parents. Yet when our cars are quiet after we drop the kids off at sports practice, menacing questions swirl into the silence:
• Am I doing enough for my mom/dad?
• Is what I am doing "right"?
• When my mom refuses my help, is it safe to just let her be?
• Am a good daughter (or son)?
Lucky for me, I am also a gerontologist. I get to work with families on their journeys through advanced age. I also have easy access to the thousands of research articles on aging that are published each year. Because I know you are busy, my goal is to share share what I've learned so that by the end of this article you know how to be a better daughter or son.
In a series of studies of tens of thousands of older adults, researcher Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad examined and ranked the lifestyle factors that best predict longevity. The most important factor was not exercise nor even quitting smoking. The top two most important factors in predicting longevity were close relationships and social integration. Understanding and acting on this knowledge will make you a better daughter or son.
Close Relationships
Find a time when you and your parent are not in a hurry. Turn off background noise, sit down and be at the same level. Then tell your aging parent how much they mean to you.
If you are already close, tell them that you are happy that you two are close. If you and your parent are not close, take this opportunity to tell them that you would like to be closer now that you are both in the second part of life.
Next, ask him or her who else they feel close to. If there isn't anyone they feel close with, ask them who they would like to be close with. Together, brainstorm ways to connect with the people in your parent's life that they would like to be closer with. Allow time for silence as this is often a time of reflection, and then spend time listening even if the conversation is circuitous or not right on topic.
Social Integration
The most significant factor in healthy longevity was social integration. Social integration refers to how much you interact with people as you move through your day. It includes all interactions — large or small — with strangers, acquaintances, friends and family, in other words: anyone. It's how often your parent sees another human, talks on the phone, sends/receives a letter, waves to someone while out walking, chats on a video call, says hello to the person delivering the mail, receives a photograph or reaches out to a grandchild.
To be a better daughter or son, your job is to patiently, lovingly assist your mother or father in finding ways of increasing social integration.
Every older adult is different in how they are willing to connect. A number of older adults I've worked with will tell me, "I don't need to interact with anyone." What we are learning is that this statement is comparable to the statement, " I don't need to eat."
Humans need to sleep, eat, drink and engage in some form of social integration. Because there are so many different modalities, there is a connection format that is right for everyone. Your job is to patiently, humbly listen to your parent to determine ways in which he or she would be interested in connecting. Once you find some ways, you can help them get going.
The solution I found with my mother is the grandPad, a tablet that is engineered to be frustration-free and designed to delight users with every tap. Before I started working for grandPad, I purchased a monthly membership for my mother. With a touch of my photo my mom video-calls me. There are no passwords and no Wi-Fi required because LTE internet connection is built right in.
GrandPad was designed to also work for people with lower vision and hearing impairments. It includes access to over 30 million songs plus curated news, cognitively stimulating games, weather and most importantly, live, loving, human support.
The grandPad arrived preloaded with my mom's contacts and family photos. The photos appear in a continuous loop on the grandPad as it sits on its wireless charging stand. By pressing an image of me or my sister or her friend, my mom video-calls us. She has 24 contacts on her grandPad. The average number is 14 and some grandPad users have more than 100.
After our mother broke her hip, she had a caregiver for three months. Her name was Joy, and she was aptly named. Joy used grandPad to connect our mother with us, and it gave us a window into their day: meals prepared, activities enjoyed. And it just put a real face to the very human connection caregivers and clients enjoy.
Joy remarked, "When your mother's hip is hurting, I hand her the grandPad, and she looks at hundreds of photos of her family, and that smile returns to her face." For you to see that smile, I've attached an embarrassing selfie my mom and I took using the grandPad. Gulp. Yep, we are wearing matching pajamas — just another daughter doing whatever it takes to foster social integration and a close relationship.


How to Be a Better Daughter (or Son)

Kerry Burnight

Most older Americans hope to live at home for as long as possible, a practice referred to as "aging in place." In a recent survey, in fact, AARP found that 3 out of 4 adults 50 and older want to live in their homes and communities as they age.
The good news is that aging in place is "often the most cost-effective" housing solution for older adults, according to Orion Bell, president and CEO of the Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging in Cleveland.
About 75% of people 85 and older report some degree of permanent limitation in performing activities of daily living, such as eating, bathing or dressing.
"So, if that's what they want to do, then that's the ideal scenario," said Bell. "But it's a mistake to think aging in place just happens. Older adults and their families need to be active in creating a plan."
A critical part of that planning, he added, is money.
Home Modifications to Age in Place
Even minor changes to make a home more accessible can add up quickly. And people who'll stay in their homes as they age should expect to incur costs associated with upkeep they'll no longer be able to do — like lawn mowing and housecleaning — as well as the real possibility they will someday require help with personal or medical care.
Sonya Edwards, the broker and executive director of Branches Real Estate, a subsidiary of Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging, said about 75% of people 85 and older report some degree of permanent limitation in performing activities of daily living, such as eating, bathing or dressing.
Medicaid, in some limited situations, will cover person care assistance; Medicare does not.  
Whether it's a one-time expense like a residential modification, ongoing care or both, Edwards suggested older homeowners and their families consider using home equity to help cover the cost of staying there.
Home Equity Loans and Home Equity Lines
Home equity loans and home equity lines of credit (HELOC) are two of the best aging-in-place funding options, according to Edwards, since either product can be obtained quickly with relatively low upfront costs.
Home equity loans, she said, are ideal for large one-time expenses that exceed $15,000, such as remodeling or pricey home repair projects. The loan is disbursed in one lump sum and payments are fixed over time.
HELOCs, on the other hand, are more like a credit card. The homeowner is given a set credit limit and can withdraw money as needed, which makes these credit lines better for ongoing expenses.
"So, if you plan to make modifications to the home over a number of years rather than all at once or want to ensure access to cash for unanticipated renovation or care expenses, lines of credit are a good choice," she said.
One drawback to home equity loans and HELOCs, Edwards noted, are the demanding financial and credit requirements that can be hard for some homeowners to meet. And monthly payments can be risky for people on a fixed income, particularly when unexpected expenses arise.
"These types of loans are secured by the home," she said. "If they aren't paid back, the senior could lose his or her home. Make sure there is a reliable re-payment plan in place and only borrow what is needed."
Pros and Cons of Reverse Mortgages
Reverse mortgages are another alternative. They get a "bad rap," said Edwards, and often for good reason. They are among the costliest loan products and homeowners lose "a lot of their equity" when taking out a reverse loan, she said.
"But they are not all bad," according to Edwards. Still, she added, "you have to be in the perfect storm to really make a reverse mortgage work."
Reverse mortgages allow homeowners over 62 to access a portion of the equity of their home as cash. Borrowers don't make monthly mortgage payments as long they continue to live in the home.
Credit requirements for reverse mortgages are often less strict than conventional home equity loans. That, and the absence of required monthly payments, are the two main advantages. 
But because interest is added to the loan each month — and homeowners are not making payments — the balance on reverse mortgages grows over time. When the last borrower who signed up for the reverse mortgage dies or moves out of the home, the loan becomes due.
"Reverse mortgages are complex and complicated," Edwards said. "I recommend talking to an experienced housing counselor before going down that road."
In some cases, unfortunately, it may not be feasible to age in the home.
Older adults may also be able to take advantage of specialized programs designed to cover the cost of home modifications. Many states and municipalities, for example, offer grants and low-cost loans to make homes age-friendly and some organizations provide funds for veterans to adapt their homes at no cost.
Coming to the Right Decision
Edwards said older adults and their families should also educate themselves about tax and legal issues that affect their housing costs. Homestead credits available in many states, she said, can lower the tax burden and free up money for other expenses.
In some cases, unfortunately, it may not be feasible to age in the home. But Edwards said exploring financing options is an important step in coming to terms with the need to transition.
Bell stressed that one role of caregivers is to help their loved ones analyze and understand the prospective challenges that may come with aging in place, so they can arrive at an appropriate decision.
"There's a lot less resentment to it and a lot less loss of control to it when it's their decision," he said. "You might be a part of it, you might be the person they bounce ideas off of, you might make suggestions, but it's their lives, it's their decision."
Ultimately, Edwards added, the goal is to feel like you and your family have turned over every rock and exhausted every option before looking at other housing options."


Successful Aging in Place Doesn't 'Just Happen'

Judy Stringer

Babies born in the United States today are likely to live to be 76, on average, compared with just 47 in 1900. By 2040, life expectancy in the U.S. will climb to 79.8 years, according to the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation in Seattle. The U.S. today has more 60 year olds than 6 year olds.
The country's aging workforce requires organizations to develop ways to retain and retrain older workers. Organizations also need to find a way to turn older adults into customers: by one estimate, the global cohort of people 60 and over represents a $22 trillion market opportunity.
"The bottom line is that because there are not enough young people to maintain the current workforce, mature or older workers are essential for organizations today and in the future."Countries and organizations will have to address this remarkable demographic shift and learn to manage it going forward. However, few organizations seem to be focused on the aging workforce. Only an estimated 15% of organizations have a strategy that focuses on their aging workforce and a mere 4% have a retention strategy.
To make matters worse, for every two experienced (also older) workers who leave the workforce, one inexperienced worker enters. And all of this was before the pandemic.
Aging Population, Aging Workforce
This aging segment of society is not only in the U.S., but globally. It has been estimated that the fertility rate needed to maintain the present workforce is 2.1 — that is, women need to have slightly more than two children, on average, to sustain the current size of the workforce. This number takes into consideration births, deaths, immigration and emigration.
Several large countries in Asia and South America exceed that rate, as do most nations in sub-Saharan Africa, but none of the seven largest industrial countries, according to the World Population Review. The U.S. and United Kingdom come closest, at 1.7.
The bottom line is that because there are not enough young people to maintain the current workforce, mature or older workers are essential for organizations today and will continue to be so in the future.
Skilled Worker Shortage
As if the aging workforce was not enough, there is also a skills shortage that is currently impacting and will continue to impact organizations. There is a shortage of workers and this will only continue to grow. This was made worse by the the COVID-19 pandemic, which prompted 19 million workers to retire early or simply quit in the summer of 2021 alone.
Only an estimated 15% of organizations have a strategy that focuses on their aging workforce.
The impact of losing so many workers helps to explain the unusual number of job vacancies in many parts of the economy: nearly a quarter-million in the IT and computer sector, over 600,000 in manufacturing, three-quarters of a million nurses and 30,000 pilots. In the case of pilots, the  problem is made worse by the mandatory retirement age of 65.
Some organizations are taking proactive steps. As recently as 2022, more than half of employees in the U.S. embarked on significant retraining and skill improvement courses.
Ageism Is Reinforcing Myths
The situation is not helped by persistent myths about the aging workforce. Myths like the older workforce costs too much, training the workforce is not a good investment or older workers are less productive — none are supported by research.
The traditional career development process that we have had for many years is rooted in 20th century thinking.
In spite of this, a recent study found that out of 10,000 organizations, two-thirds consider having an aging workforce a competitive disadvantage. This supports AARP studies that have found that almost two-thirds of survey respondents between 45 and 74 said they have experienced some form of age-related discrimination.
Organizations need to not only reassess their ageism perspectives and refute myths about older workers, but also revisit the critical interpersonal skills needed to efficiently manage organizations today and tomorrow. Such skills include critical thinking, listening, empathy and problem-solving, among others.
Who Has These Skills?
These are proficiencies that most older workers have gained by experience over the years and recent college graduates lack.
The traditional career development process that we have had for many years is rooted in 20th century thinking. Today, as the workforce continues to age and society increasingly sees the 60s is the new 50s and 50s are the new 40s, paradigm shifts are taking place.
In "The Talent Revolution," Lisa Taylor and Fern Lebo say 50- to 75-year-old people who still work are in their "legacy careers." As such, they are more amenable to pursuing their lifetime dreams outside the workplace and work to live rather than live to work. They are open to work part-time and willing to bring to organizations their lifelong work experience.
These are important for organizations to consider especially after The Great Resignation, attrition, attraction, reassessment and "quiet quitting" that took center stage during the pandemic. More and more is being written about the present workforce, irrespective of age and looking for meaning, purpose and happiness in life, but not finding it at work.
What Can Organizations Do?
Organizations could start to address these fundamental changes by considering using non-ageist or age-neutral policies and practices. They should consider flexible work schedules, part-time work, special assignments, job sharing and bridge jobs. They should consider flexible compensation and benefits along with policies and practices that address age biases. Presently it is estimated that as little as 8% of organizations have expanded their diversity strategies beyond race and gender issues.
Only an estimated 8% of organizations have expanded their diversity strategies beyond race and gender issues.
Some organizations are already adapting to the aging workforce. Scripps Healthcare in San Diego provides flexible and half-retirement options to its workers.  The Home Depot and Vodafone Group prioritize older workers' skills when hiring and promoting. Marriott and Michelin are creating new positions for older workers or adapting existing ones.
A host of companies offer to match recently retired executives with temporary consulting roles. Others, such as BMW and Xerox, focus on workplace ergonomics.
Marketers Take Action
Some are more discrete with their marketing strategies. Nike, for example, does not market directly to older athletes, but modifies its shoes and sells them to baby boomers who want to remain physically active.
In summary, organizations should not only revisit their human capital strategies particularly when it comes to an aging workforce but remember that this is a growing consumer global market. Organizations and their sometimes older senior executive teams should revisit their 20th century paradigms and consider creating and implementing progressive human resources practices that will provide them a competitive advantage in this aging world.
Another way to think about all of this is in the following manner. As Serena Williams prepared to retire this past year, in an interview she said the following: "I have never liked the word 'retirement.' Maybe the best word to describe what I'm up to is 'evolution.'" 
Maybe organizations and society in general need to evolve in its way of thinking of the older workforce and consumer.


The Aging Workforce

Edwin Mouriño-Ruiz

"Are you the father of the deceased?"
This jarring question came from a woman I did not know at a relative's memorial service a couple years ago. The reason it was jarring? The deceased had died at age 59, and at that time I was 52. Plus, I was with my two daughters, ages 18 and 21, who couldn't resist a chuckle as I pointed to the 86-year-old father of the deceased and said: "No, that's him over there."
Writer Vincent O'KeefeThat was the first (and so far, the only) time I have been mistaken for an 86-year-old. But it was the latest incident in my complicated, triangular relationship with my chronological age (how old I am), my "subjective" age (how old I feel) and what I call my "apparent" age (how old I look).
I have always looked older than my age, which was a benefit back in high school when I grew a mustache and beard by tenth grade.
I have always looked older than my age, which was a benefit back in high school when I grew a mustache and beard by tenth grade. As a teenage boy, looking older creates mystique and prompts awe-stricken fellow students to ask if you can buy them beer.
The flip side, however, was my early signs of balding. As a baseball teammate exclaimed one day, "Dude, you're going to have a widow's peak!" I didn't know what that meant, but it did not sound good.
By the end of high school (and the beginning of my hairline's retreat), I decided to embrace my "inner balding man" and go for laughs, in part because he's always visible on the outside anyway. My first performance of this approach occurred in my early 20s during my toast at my older brother Mark's wedding. 
After informing the crowd that I was Mark's older brother, I mentioned that I used to be his younger brother. Then I recounted our recent trip to a bar where my four-years-older-than-me brother had to show his I.D. while I did not, which "proved" that my age had bypassed his age.
My 20s also featured meeting and eventually marrying my beautiful wife, Michele, who is two years younger than me and has always had a "baby face." We have been together for 34 years, and thanks to genetics, rigorous self-care and regular moisturizing, she still looks much younger than her age (more on that soon).
The Hits Kept Coming 
When I was 28 and took her to my 10-year high school reunion, I was embarrassed for her to hear a former classmate who was gobsmacked by my hairline state: "Vince, you look so ... old." All I could think to say was "thanks, it's nice to see you too!"
"My dad doesn't need many haircuts because he only has half-hair!"
In my 30s, the hits kept coming. Michele and I now had two young daughters, and one day the five-year-old boy who lived next door was playing with our older daughter, Lauren. When the kids were on our backyard swings, the boy pointed at me and said: "Hey, maybe your grandpa can push us!" For a moment, I thought my father or father-in-law had shown up behind me.
This embarrassing incident was followed by six-year-old Lauren making me squirm at a salon. During one of her chatty haircuts, she was telling the stylist about the hairdos of her mother and sister. Then she pointed at me and announced to a crowd: "My dad doesn't need many haircuts because he only has half-hair!"
In my early 40s, as I continued to age and Michele continued to moisturize, the inevitable happened: my wife was mistaken for one of my children. At a science center, our family of what I saw as obviously two adults and two children approached the ticket window. The woman glanced at us and said to me: "One adult and three kids?" Michele shot me a sympathetic smile but also got a laugh out of that one.
Our Aging Discrepancies 
Laughter, indeed, has been a way for Michele and me to bond over our aging discrepancies. At one of our recent wedding anniversary dinners, I gave Michele a bonus present right before dinner. The gift? Admitting that after I dropped her off, parked the car, and entered the restaurant, the host said to me: "Let me show you to your daughter's table."
Better coping mechanisms have been humor and an appreciation of my health, which continues to be good thanks in part to regular exercise.
Now in my 50s, I have learned to accept the things I cannot change about my appearance. There were times when I considered Rogaine or a hairpiece, but those didn't feel right for me. Better coping mechanisms have been humor and an appreciation of my health, which continues to be good thanks in part to regular exercise.
Another coping strategy has been to reframe my aging conundrum into sunnier terms. Rather than lament that I'm in my 50s but appear to be in my 80s, I take pride in how spry I must look to strangers whenever I do yardwork, lift something heavy, or just move quickly. I imagine their low expectations leading to thoughts like "that 80-year-old moves like a 50-year-old!"
People sometimes describe pregnant women as "eating for two," though my baby-faced wife never liked that phrase during her pregnancies years ago. But it seems that during our long relationship I have been taking the burden of aging off her plate, so to speak, by "aging for two."
Granted, there are far more cultural pressures placed on women than on men when it comes to aging gracefully. And the unfair social penalties for women in their 50s who may look older than their chronological age are nothing to laugh about.
Still, my wife and I continue to enjoy the absurdities of (mostly my) aging. At a recent wake, a relative who had not seen me in many years actually asked Michele out of my earshot: "Where is your husband?" When Michele pointed at me, the woman asked as if seeing a ghost: "That's Vince?!" Clearly, I had become unrecognizable — you might even say "deceased" — to the woman.
At least I wasn't mistaken for the ghost's father.


Aging for Two

Vincent O'Keefe

At 94, I'm one of the oldest-old. I think about how I earned that distinction and what I must do to ascend to the next level, if there is one. I've tasted joy and sorrow on my journey deeper into old age. When my wife of 66 years died suddenly and unexpectedly four years ago, grief was a snake that locked its fangs around my throat. Breathing felt more like gasping. 
As days, months and now years have passed, grief sheathed its fangs. Now it is a shapeless mass that occasionally slumps onto my chest to remind me it's still there.
"To ease the pain of my loss and find meaning in old age, I began reading studies of  loss, loneliness and aging as though my life depended on the answers I hoped to find."I've begun to heal largely because I'm surrounded by the love of my children, grandchildren and great-grandchild. Two close friends have remained alongside me through most of my journey. I'm well enough to run three-mile races, always finishing last, but always finishing. Hopefully some of that well-being will remain as I approach the ultimate finish line.  
Studying Loneliness 
To ease the pain of my loss and find meaning in old age, I began reading studies of  loss, loneliness and aging as though my life depended on the answers I hoped to find. I was assured my loneliness would soften once I developed new relationships and reestablished old ones. Younger people I began speaking with express interest in the activities of a 94-year-old widower, but soon have heard enough. 
 I was told to remain mentally and physically active, but not how to get out of bed in the morning.
Most friends my age have moved closer to their children or to assisted living communities. More names have been torn from our old address book than remain. Friends Muriel and I frequently dined with gather at tables set for couples, not for odd numbers, and three is proving to be an especially odd number. The studies I was reading saw loss, loneliness and aging as problems practical people solve. Everything I read chilled me with its clinical remoteness. I was told to remain mentally and physically active, but not how to get out of bed in the morning. Didn't they know that instead of awakening to Muriel's soft touch, I stepped onto a floor that felt littered with shattered glass?
I decided to put down the books and turn inward. Would I find within me the will and resources to endure these final years without Muriel? If I did, the answers would lie deep inside me and not written on pages. Yes, I would eat leafy vegetables, walk 10,000 steps and volunteer to mentor women and minority aspiring entrepreneurs. But I would also sit quietly alone, hoping to hear in the stillness words leading me to where healing began.
Looking for Courage 
In those quiet moments, I began to sense my solitary journey would call upon both the man I am and the man I would have to become. As old as I was, could I create ways to carry myself along a road that seem paved with obstacles designed to thwart elders? I would begin by learning if the young man I was long ago could impart strength to the old man I had become.
I decided to put down the books and turn inward. Would I find within me the will and resources to endure these final years without Muriel?
When I needed courage in the past, Muriel was there to share hers with me. But sometimes she would say, "You're hoping to hear your sergeant's voice, aren't you?" She was referring to something I told her when I returned from the Korean War. The men who trained and later led me had jumped into Normandy six years earlier. They were quiet men who spoke to young soldiers only when giving orders.
It startled me when my platoon sergeant beckoned to me, put his hand on my shoulder, and said "Goldfarb, you've become one of us." That was all he said, but from that moment I stood taller and carried myself differently. Barely out of my teens, I had earned the trust of men I held in awe. I needed to hear words like that again.
Seeking Wisdom
My family showers me with love and support. My closest friend several times has called and said "Bob, I don't like the sound of your voice; I'm coming over." As crucial as these acts of kindness are to my survival, there was something else I needed. No one had to tell me Muriel was no longer physically alongside me. But I was desperate to hear that her presence remained within my being. I would have to hear that from someone more spiritual than I was.
"Your wife's soul has gone to a higher place, but also remains present for you. She's here for you. She hasn't left you."
While running one morning, I passed a Hasidic rabbi and stopped as though I struck a wall. I'm not a religious person but asked if I could speak with him and told him of my loss. He listened silently before saying, "Your wife's soul has gone to a higher place, but also remains present for you. She's here for you. She hasn't left you."
Muriel knew the boy I was and the man she helped me become. I hear her voice, urging me to think not of what I lost, but of all we had together for all those years. Both of us eagerly looked for doors that opened onto new possibilities, sometimes to adventure. She would want me keep opening those doors. I can do that with confidence now that I know she is with me on that journey.


Finding Meaning in Being One of the Oldest-Old

Robert W. Goldfarb

My cell phone started ringing just as I turned the key in my front door. George, my dear friend and neighbor in downtown Los Angeles, was calling.
We had just shared a celebratory lunch, and an unwelcome surprise awaited him when he returned to his apartment. Building management had installed a new digital lock on his front door while we were out.
And he didn't have the code.
"One person's efficiency tool can be another's obstacle."On the eve of his 90th birthday, George found himself shut out of his long-time home.
I rushed across the plaza that separates our buildings. I had a hunch what must have occurred.
Can't drive anymore? "Just call Uber" isn't a solution for someone who doesn't own a smartphone.
Building management, it seemed, had been alerting tenants about the upcoming change via email and text — methods of communication my friend didn't use. As his eyesight had been faltering, George hadn't been getting online much lately. His sole lifeline to the world was his ever-ringing flip phone.
Apps for All (Who Can Use Them)
In the name of efficiency, more companies are driving customers to conduct business digitally. QR codes for menus in restaurants. COVID-19 vaccines scheduled exclusively online. Apps for everything, from banking to health care to travel to routine maintenance requests.
The presumption that everyone's life is fully digital — and that everybody is, or wants to be, comfortable with screens — shuts out many who may not be deft with the technology, or even have access to it.
George panicked last year when his building's management company shut down its on-site office and began requiring tenants pay rent digitally. Having to mail in the check he used to deliver in person increased the possibility of late fees. Paying online was not something with which he felt comfortable.
Texted to Distraction
My 85-year-old mother just had a medical issue — the first in her life — and suddenly found herself barraged with texts directing her at an already stressful time to upload documents, respond to surveys and confirm appointments. Perhaps even worse, finding an alternative method of contact (such as . . . a phone number) was usually impossible.
Last year, the appliance store from which she'd purchased a new refrigerator demanded that she fill out a detailed form sent to her via text, and to upload a picture of the defective merchandise before a repairperson would respond.
Can't drive anymore? "Just call Uber" isn't a solution for someone who doesn't own a smartphone.
One person's efficiency tool can be another's obstacle, said Dr. Caroline Cicero, a gerontology professor and director of the University of Southern California's Age Friendly University Initiative. While helping her father recently to deposit a check at a bank, she found herself frustrated when the branch manager tried to steer him to instead use an app.
"I don't think we should assume that everyone, young or old or middle-aged, is better off using an app to do our banking," she said. "Companies need to provide humans to talk with. Automation and robots cannot handle questions that may not be pre-written."
"Companies need to provide humans to talk with. Automation and robots cannot handle questions that may not be pre-written."
Like the situation with George. That afternoon during his lockout, we each stood in his hallway on our respective phones, frantically calling various numbers in search of help.
The digital keypad company representative petulantly told my friend that the records indicated he'd been emailed and texted codes.
Blinded by Technology
"But I can't receive texts, and I'm locked out," said George, indignant. "I'm not able to access my computer."
To the millennial on the other end of the phone, the idea that one couldn't access information on their phone was preposterous.
"Check your email on your phone," he insisted, oblivious to the idea that someone couldn't. "I also texted you a code."
After an hour, a friendly building maintenance person showed up, extolling the virtues of the new system as if he were a salesperson.
"People just love these new digital locks," he said, ignoring the addled state of the tenant before him. "You can give the code to friends. You don't have to bother with a key!"
Looking at me, he added, "You can use the app to open the door for him, from wherever you are."
"Can't I just have a key?"
"He's my friend, not my father," I said, annoyed that this person didn't understand how demoralizing it was for a person not to be able to open his own front door. "How would your grandmother deal with this system?"
Well, he shrugged, she probably couldn't. Then, he called up a temporary code that allowed us to enter George's unit. Inside, we logged onto his email, and retrieved the company-assigned digits that would now serve as his lock. They hadn't even paid for the upgrade that allowed you to choose your own code.
How Will He Remember?
George panicked. How would he remember these random series of numbers, much less punch them in on a tiny keypad?
"Can't I just have a key?" George asked, pointing to the old-fashioned keyhole above the keypad. "There's no way I'll remember that, much less be able to see those numbers."
In the meantime, I rooted on the countertop for a pen, and began writing out cheat-sheets. Sticking a piece of paper in George's wallet, I also made a record of it for myself.
"This is your new key," I said, trying to feign optimism.
Landlord with a Heart
Later on, I, along with George's daughter — a lawyer who lives in a different city — composed stern emails to management explaining the severity of having locked a tenant out of his apartment — and installing a system that was challenging for him to navigate.
The next morning, the friendly maintenance man appeared at the front door of George's apartment — old-fashioned key in hand.
George was happy, and relieved, at this work-around that relieved him from digital jail.
Later that day, I ran into another neighbor, Nicole, who just turned 83.
"Did you hear we got new locks?" she said. "They're amazing! I love not having to carry a key."


Digital Ageism

Lisa Napoli

Turning to leave the classroom on an overcast afternoon, one of my students said to me: "It's scary to think generations like yours and my parents who contributed to the climate crisis will be long gone when our generation is facing the worst of it."
Demonstrators march down Pennsylvania Avenue during a People's Climate March, 2017He wore a worried look but seemed to make the comment as an observation, without judgement.
We had just finished reading "The Intersectional Environmentalist: How to Dismantle Systems of Oppression to Protect People + Planet" by the youth activist Leah Thomas, who had Zoomed into my environmental education class at Warren Wilson College, a small liberal arts college in the Appalachian mountains of North Carolina near Asheville.
I'd lived for more than two decades with my daughters in a 900-square-foot rental on the campus, where students work in jobs such as herding cattle or growing kale for the cafeteria.
Tap the Strength of Generations
So I was used to being part of the solution, not the problem. When I started teaching, I was closer in age to my students than their parents. But now, at 57, with gray hair and grown kids, I concluded that I needed to engage in the climate crisis in a way that tapped the strengths of multiple generations, which I could share with my classes.
I was used to being part of the solution, not the problem. When I started teaching, I was closer in age to my students than their parents.
This would also serve me as a mother of 23- and 17-year-old daughters who are growing up in a world where daffodils bloom in December and hurricanes and wildfires affect family members from Alabama to Washington State.
So I embarked on a one-year journey to tell the stories of how women of all ages across the country — one from each state — were confronting the climate emergency, especially given the disproportionate impact of the climate crisis on girls and women.
My research culminated in the book "Love Your Mother: 50 States, 50 Stories, and 50 Women United for Climate Justice." And I sought organizations that could bring Gen Xers like me into a growing climate movement built by young people like the student who rightly wondered about my relevance.
Strong Young Leaders Emerge
In a recent Vogue cover story, youth activist Nalleli Cobo said: "It's not adults who stole our future. It's very specific interests." The striking Vogue cover showed the singer Billie Eilish surrounded by a diverse group of climate and Indigenous rights activists under 30, including Wanjiku "Wawa" Gatheru, whom I wrote about in my book.
"It's not adults who stole our future. It's very specific interests."
As founder of the organization Black Girl Environmentalist, Wawa is a scholar-activist using research and social media to advance equity and climate justice for Black, Indigenous and people of color (BIPOC) communities.
Here's what I learned from my research: older adults like me, who are dedicated to climate justice, can support the voices of younger people as we also push for systemic change to decrease our dependence on a fossil fuel industry invested in profits more than people or the planet.
For some adults, the Fridays for Future movement led by young people, including the 20-year-old Swedish environmental activist Greta Thunberg and many others, brought climate into the headlines and our social media feeds.
"Fire Drill Fridays" protests led by 85-year-old Jane Fonda often bring young and old together for the same goal. Youth groups are tapping into a variety of strategies, from legal to political, which older adults can amplify with finances, logistical support and resources such as time and experience.
One of my former students, Kelsey Juliana, is the lead plaintiff in a federal lawsuit Juliana v. US, calling for a climate plan to protect the constitutional rights of youth to a healthy life. Other young people in Hawaii, Montana, Utah and Virginia, have filed suit at the state level making similar claims.
Assessing a Bleak Future
I interviewed Grace Gibson-Snyder, a fifth-generation Montanan and plaintiff in Held v. State of Montana. She told me that when she was 15, she began to realize she didn't want to have children in the future because of the increase in floods, droughts, wildfires and extreme heat in the West.
Get ready to see older adults cut up their credit cards in front of banks.
"Each plaintiff in the case is impacted differently," she said, "But none of us is old enough to vote. That's why this case exists in the first place."
Intergenerational collaboration could fight fossil fuel interests and imagine a healthy world for all. To this end, I spoke with Cassie Cain, youth engagement coordinator for both 350 Maine and Maine Climate Action. She built coalitions between these climate organizations and young adults through actions such as giving young people paid opportunities or board positions.
"So many young people go to school, play sports and then focus on climate organizing afterward," she told me. "And they are doing the adult work of advocating for a livable future."
Use the Power of Your Money
In her role, Cain began working with a middle-school student, Anna Siegel, who led a campaign with Sierra Club Maine to advocate for LD 99, legislation requiring the Maine Public Employee Retirement System to sell all of its fossil fuel investments. Cain said the bill was meant to "stop the money pipeline" to oil and gas companies. Governor Janet Mills signed the bill into law in 2021.
Older generations also can leverage their financial assets to achieve climate goals. Third Act, an advocacy group founded by the writer Bill McKibben, organizes people over 60 to engage in the climate movement, especially to make the connection between cash and the climate.
In a New York Times op-ed, McKibben and Third Act's lead adviser, Akaya Windwood, noted that 10,000 Americans turn 60 every day and will live an additional 23 years on average. That's a lot of years to use experience and resources for the good of all ages.
To that end, Third Act is planning a nationwide Day of Action March 21, 2023, to pressure large banks — Bank of America, Chase, Citibank and Wells Fargo — to move their investments out of companies in the fossil fuel industry.
Organizers have collected pledges from thousands of customers of these banks, committing to take their checking, savings, investing and revolving credit business elsewhere if the banks don't move their investments from fossil fuels.
"Stop the money pipeline"
Get ready to see older adults cut up their credit cards in front of banks, although anyone can join such events without cutting up their plastic as the point is to provide public pressure.
This type of pressure worldwide has had an effect. HSBC, Europe's largest bank, recently said it would end fund fossil-fuel expansion.
Indigenous leaders I interviewed have used this same strategy: Bernadette Demientieff, executive director of the Gwich'in Steering Committee in Fairbanks, Alaska, has used it to pressure banks to divest from fossil fuel infrastructure that endangered sacred land and people in Alaska.
"We all have to live on this planet."
Third Act also has created working groups based on vocations by, for example, bringing together lawyers, teachers and artists in focused networks to use their skills for change. And the final charge of this group — which connects to my students — is to support youth environmental and social justice leaders.
In Time magazine, Sophia Kiani, an Iranian-American climate activist, gave specific suggestions for how to show this support: by funding youth climate organizations, expanding formal roles and spaces for youth, giving youth the political power they've earned in elections, and embracing the energy of young people.
Share the Workload
With my students, I've also seen the importance of sharing the foundational work of older generations as we gain strength by learning whose shoulders we stand on.
"Check out this image from 1997," I told one class. "That's Diana Liverman, the only woman on a White House panel on global climate change with President Bill Clinton and Vice President Al Gore."
As a geographer, Liverman has been a co-author on the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) reports since 1995. But the first IPCC report in 1990 included only a handful of women, changemakers in their time.
"We all have to live on this planet," a student named Anna said. "It reminds me of that song from "High School Musical" —'We're all in this together.'" For the climate emergency, this message couldn't be truer — for young and old alike.


How Generations Can Collaborate for Climate Justice

Mallory McDuff

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