The Talk Over-50s Should Have Before Tying the Knot
Getting married in middle age or beyond is not only a significant personal milestone, it’s also one of the biggest financial decisions of your life
After a decades-long career in finance, consultant Michael Ashley understood the importance of closely evaluating the financial side of major life events.
That's why, when he decided to marry at age 53, he knew that he and his future spouse needed to have a thorough discussion about financial goals, obligations and concerns.
"We laid out a clear picture of our financial situations, including savings, investments and debts," Ashley said. "It was crucial to align our expectations regarding lifestyle, retirement plans and how we would handle potential financial challenges."
"We laid out a clear picture of our financial situations, including savings, investments and debts."
Marriage was once thought of as a rite of passage that primarily happens in early adulthood, but Census Bureau data shows that in 2022 the median age to marry for the first time was 30.1 for men and 28.2 for women. That is up significantly from ages 23.7 and 20.5, respectively, in 1947.
Transparency Is Essential
"I think [marrying later] may be more common than people think," said Cassandra Rupp, a senior wealth advisor at Vanguard. "I have a large number of clients who have gone through this type of transition in life, whether it was from a previous marriage to now a new one, or just their first marriage being later in life."
No matter your age, getting married should prompt a discussion about money, but after 50, with retirement approaching, it is even more important to fully understand the financial implications of tying the knot.
The first step to making wise financial decisions when you marry later in life is to have an open conversation with your partner and discuss your financial situation. For Ashley, this meant discussing key goals with his future spouse.
"We discussed retirement plans, addressing questions like when we would retire, where we would live and the kind of lifestyle we envisioned," Ashley said. "Concerns about potential health care costs, managing existing debts and aligning our investment strategies were also crucial topics."
If one or both of you own your home, it's important to discuss which home you would like to keep as a shared residence and which home to sell. In addition to discussing real property, you'll also want to lay out your liquid assets like bank accounts, investments, retirement savings and income.
While talking frankly about your financial status might feel awkward, it's vital that you be fully transparent with your future spouse about your assets and debts.
During the conversation, be straightforward about your debt, including credit cards, loans and mortgages. While talking frankly about your financial status might feel awkward, it's vital that you be fully transparent with your future spouse about your assets and debts.
Update Your Estate Plan
Whether you are getting married for the first time or have been married previously, saying your vows confers a new financial and legal status.
If you have an existing estate plan, review it to make sure your wills, durable powers of attorney, beneficiaries and other legal documents are changed to reflect your current wishes.
As important as estate plans are, the majority of Americans do not have one. In fact, for the first time since 2020, the number of Americans with an estate plan has declined, with only 32% of Americans having an estate plan in 2024, compared with 34% in 2023, according to a Caring.com survey.
Consider Family Dynamics
Couples who marry later in life may have children from prior relationships, so it is important to consider estate-planning options, such as trusts, that best suit blended families.
If you marry later in life, it may affect government benefits you are eligible to receive.
"[Trusts make] it easier to segment out . . . 'Here's what's mine, and I want it to go to benefit my children in this way and here's what's ours, I want you to continue to live in the house that we own together, and I also want you to be able to receive an income that was commensurate with what we had while I was still alive,' " said Mitch Mitchell, product counsel at Trust & Will, an online estate-planning service.
When it comes to different types of trusts, the options are as diverse as the families they serve. For example, a family trust involves all assets going into a combined trust after the death of the first spouse. This allows the surviving spouse to allocate assets to the couple's offspring based on each child's needs. On the other hand, a marital trust enables assets to be passed to the surviving spouse while preserving any residual assets for the children after the second spouse's death.
Two Incomes Can Affect Benefits
If you marry later in life, it may affect government benefits you are eligible to receive. For instance, if you receive Supplemental Security Income payments, the amount may change depending on your new spouse's income and assets, according to the Social Security Administration.
If you and your spouse both collect SSI, your benefits will change to a couple's rate from an individual rate. Also, if you get Social Security widow or widower benefits and you remarry in your 50s, the benefits could be terminated.
In short, when you get married after age 50, there are a lot of financial considerations to keep in mind. Navigating that financial maze can be complicated, so don't hesitate to seek professional advice.
"I just really encourage — before making any big changes or not making any changes at all — involve a financial adviser to discuss your situation," Rupp said. "We can really help on how to personalize the advice in those first few years and monitor that for the rest of your life."
